Thursday, November 27, 2008

Just Remember, 16 Will Get You 20 *Clink*

I was at the Quarry House (great hang-out bar in Silver Spring on the corner of Georgia and Bonifant) the other night with some friends when it came up that one of them (a 23 year old girl) was actively searching for a 15 year old boy to hook up with. To which I responded with somewhere between 20 to 37 "NO"s. Aside from the fact that no 15 year old boy's first sexual experience should be with this particular girl - it would be like a high school freshman taking an advanced class in special topics at grad school, believe me - there's also the fact that no one can convince me that someone before the age of high school and someone after college (whether they've both gone to school or not) are on the same emotional/maturation planes. The amount of development we go through as people, both physically and societally, during those years are some of the most fundamental changes and growth a person goes through - and while most people may remain effectively the same at their core after, no one I know is the same person from that point in their lives to now.

And seriously - this girl would eat that poor kid alive and leave him limping along with utterly terrifying expectations for the next one. You've got to be battle tested and ready for this one, I ga-ron-tee.

All of which reminded me of New Mexico.

I was living in a house in Taos, NM working on a paper for class when we get a call at 2AM from this kid Travis, a former roommate of ours now living on the outskirts of town. Travis is crying and screaming - he just broke his arm. So me and one of my housemates - RJ - get in our friend's car and drive off to go get him to the hospital, because we're the only two people willing to go.

It's mid-way through the ride when I find out RJ is drunk, and I only have a learner's permit.

We get to his place and his wrist is stuck out and crooked like a praying mantis - it was pretty brutal. But he's not alone. It turns out, he had a 14 year old townie over that he was trying to get drunk and fuck (which honestly wouldn't have been that hard, given townies in Taos NM). Realize, please, that I'm already in college at this point, and Travis is my age. Well the kid lives in what can best be described as a converted greenhouse and he got the bright idea that the best way to seduce this FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL was to try some sort of gymnastics move off the wooden beams hanging from his ceiling to impress her (seriously? he didn't have any magic tricks? or juggling? Or I don't know - a girl a little bit further past puberty?). So of course he breaks his arm.

He is wailing and screaming as the four of us make our way to the hospital.
TRAVIS - Crying.
RJ - Drunk and Driving.
GIRL - 14.
ME - Terrified.

We get there and RJ and I huddle about what to do - we're not really super tight with this kid, and we're more than sketched out by the whole thing (and when RJ is sketched, well, that's a thing.) But we can't just leave him alone at the hospital. Can we? I have class first thing in the morning, RJ has work, we really don't want to be here.

Which is when the girl takes a look around and says with a big smile - "This where I got my tonsils taken out!"

Great. Now please go back to the kid's table. The adults are talking.

We ended up sleeping at the hospital and Travis went home never to be seen again by me.
I'm pretty sure that girl showed up at my house a lot after that to buy coke off one of my roommates.

I hate New Mexico.


Damo said...

Lol, oh man! Sounds like a scene from the Oliver Stone picture, "W," wherein GW would be played by RJ, and you would be playing Colin Powell.

Jason Heat said...

I still need to see that movie.

Damo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Damo said...

We've all seen the movie, Mr. Heat, it's called the last eight years...

andywqfs said...

that is quite a story dude.