tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post2000609456191744344..comments2023-10-12T03:40:53.964-04:00Comments on These Gentlemen: The One Kiss RuleDavid Pratthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09741107987673246357noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-58208054398462515042009-05-25T02:11:16.164-04:002009-05-25T02:11:16.164-04:00http://xkcd.com/458/http://xkcd.com/458/Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14292773360697246224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-73610626341544786182009-05-19T21:59:44.128-04:002009-05-19T21:59:44.128-04:00Oh Jason, it's like you looked into my current pro...Oh Jason, it's like you looked into my current problems and wrote a blog post about it. I love you so much I could kiss you.Chanan Berkovitshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07923949543198608096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-37948274250045865382009-05-19T15:16:00.000-04:002009-05-19T15:16:00.000-04:00Honestly, I don't think you have to have a phobia/...Honestly, I don't think you have to have a phobia/irrational fear to not be comfortable when someone you don't (or even do) expect kisses you. To each his own, certainly. But I don't think it has to do with the "grossness of kissing" or sexual attraction. Comfort is the issue. Trust. When two people kiss to form a connection, they're exposing themselves and, at times, risking emotional harm. What reason is good enough to eliminate their defensiveness simply because one of the parties is curious about what could have been?<br /><br />When you go in to kiss someone and they don't reciprocate, it sucks. Especially if it's apparent that it somehow really offends. But, wishing that part of it away destroys that persons choice and agency - which I think is an important point and not small picture at all. Given, Jason mentioned that this wasn't meant to be imposing and I think Britagne's rule (wish? thought? random thing?) isn't about kissing itself, but more to the point, the willingness of people to put themselves out there more. To take risks and chances with the people around them. And THAT is a very, VERY different "paradigm shift." It's why the metaphor works and why Jason should stand behind his post with dignity. It could just use a little clarity, that's all.<br /><br />I afford all readers the intelligence to see where I am going with this and, as I have a penchant for being verbose, I'll stop here. And leave the discussion to continue sans Ozkirbas at this point.Ozkirbashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17058172749734459717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-39920058516487846932009-05-19T13:02:00.000-04:002009-05-19T13:02:00.000-04:00I suppose germaphobia is a legitimate excuse for b...I suppose germaphobia is a legitimate excuse for being weirded out by kissing. ::shrugs::<br /><br />Anyway, I think there is more to it than all that. What if all someone needed to know was how you really felt about them to open up their eyes/mind to the possibility? I can't tell you how many times I've had feelings I was completely incapable of expressing in words, or was just too afraid to try. <br /><br />But whatever, to each his/her own.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14400725762803375695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-68439854975070562362009-05-19T12:52:00.000-04:002009-05-19T12:52:00.000-04:00I don't know. It seems to me that Brittany is ref...I don't know. It seems to me that Brittany is referring to it as less romantic, more friendly sign of affection. I don't really understand where Jason is going with his argument. Rejection would be less painful if the rejecter gave it a chance with a kiss and/or a date? In my experience I know when a girl is interested in me, and if I am interested in a girl, I make it apparent. I don't believe that if a girl I was not interested wanted to kiss me, and I let her, that some kind of magic could suddenly happen. A kiss becomes special because of the emotion that is put into it, it doesn't just achieve that on its own. Going into a kiss with a friend wouldn't have that emotional background, so to me, it would just be an awkward kiss that could lead to even more pain for the rejectee.<br /><br />Also, I agree you can learn a lot about a person by how they kiss, but I don't necessarily want everyone knowing all about me and how I kiss. Its something I reserve for people I care about romantically.<br /><br />P.S. It's not that I hate kissing, mouths just really gross me out. I have to really be into a girl to want to kiss her, or the gross factor is too much.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06458312374206982440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-76093523501792179262009-05-19T01:41:00.000-04:002009-05-19T01:41:00.000-04:00Actually, Jason, I get what you and B are trying t...Actually, Jason, I get what you and B are trying to say and I think it's a beautiful thought. I have a list of "could-have-been's" a mile long and all it could have taken with any one of them was that one kiss to make a whole new world possible.<br /><br />On a related note: Are there really people that don't like kissing? A good make out session can make my MONTH! I think sex overshadows the noble, sensual kiss when it comes to developing intimacy with a partner. <br /><br />All the passion, playfulness, and affection that is or can be present in lovemaking is or can be present in a kiss, with far less opportunity for awkwardness, regret, embarrassment, or the contraction of STD's like herpes, or pregnancy.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14400725762803375695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-27520233986380478542009-05-19T00:23:15.369-04:002009-05-19T00:23:15.369-04:00I agree with Brittany - this was sort of meant as ...I agree with Brittany - this was sort of meant as a paradigm shift.<br /><br />Though to be honest, the poetry of what a kiss means to me is really what I was driving for in this post, and I suppose that this is the risk with anything put online, but I'm disappointed that the words I was really invested in and/or proud of seem to have been overshadowed by the 'ew' factor of kissing someone you're not immediately into. Or the idea that there isn't a special nature in giving a bit of oneself. Even if this were a real 'rule' it's meant to be adopted by choice, not imposed. No one would ever force you into it. But it would be a nice thing if people saw it as something worthwhile.<br /><br />Obviously in the majority this is not the case.Jason Heathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15411144857939292461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-41473286384628067982009-05-18T23:56:00.001-04:002009-05-18T23:56:00.001-04:00P.S. Jason, thanks for thisP.S. Jason, thanks for thisAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14292773360697246224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-85704269326642792642009-05-18T23:56:00.000-04:002009-05-18T23:56:00.000-04:00I actually meant if all of society was built that ...I actually meant if all of society was built that way. That kissing was an acceptable form of getting closer with your fellow man. To assume it would mostly be awkward is, I think, rather small picture.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14292773360697246224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-72703541953034678702009-05-18T21:57:00.000-04:002009-05-18T21:57:00.000-04:00I agree with Ozkirbas. I totally understand the go...I agree with Ozkirbas. I totally understand the going on a date with anyone that ask you rule but the kiss rule is pushing it a bit.<br /><br />I know that each person has rejected someone who was interested in them at one point. You can't have it both ways. If someone who makes you squirm or who you think is annoying or who you just generally aren't attracted to at all well, you'd still have to let them kiss you. I'm sure I can name a person for anyone where you would instantly make the rejection face without even knowing it.<br /><br />And the stranger thing doesn't really work. Just because you may not know the person who wants to kiss you doesn't mean that they don't know you.<br /><br />The worst case scenario that I could think of is that your Dad would want to kiss you. And then what could you say?Jackie.Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16386680322383317698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-62495512558733739152009-05-18T19:48:00.000-04:002009-05-18T19:48:00.000-04:00I agree with Dennis and Ali (except the donkey pun...I agree with Dennis and Ali (except the donkey punching. Though, it made me laugh inside). Even if it wasn't stalkers or strangers - a close friend can just as easily overstep his/her bounds. The revulsion may not necessarily be about attraction. Not to knock the concept down completely. I do understand the appeal and, if we're talking strict metaphor or a personal stance on "accepting: ALL KISSES!" then, hey, it works fairly well. Power to ya. Put an ad in the paper. Hang a sign up on your door. Have a T-shirt made. Buy a megaphone and shout it walking down the street.<br /><br />... but remember when a kiss was a special thing two (or more, depending) people shared?Ozkirbashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17058172749734459717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-88452939897294255702009-05-18T15:19:00.000-04:002009-05-18T15:19:00.000-04:00Okay, so, I thought it was implied but yes - this ...Okay, so, I thought it was implied but yes - this isn't with regards to stalkers, or strangers. It's a metaphor for potentially overlooked opportunities and closure.Jason Heathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15411144857939292461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-79384867487097266942009-05-18T12:00:00.000-04:002009-05-18T12:00:00.000-04:00I dunno Dennis... I think I'd prefer to be kissed ...I dunno Dennis... I think I'd prefer to be kissed by a stranger than Donkey punched.zzzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00919646014840957676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-87083264199191325652009-05-18T11:50:00.000-04:002009-05-18T11:50:00.000-04:00I don't like that rule at all. What if the person...I don't like that rule at all. What if the person you want to kiss didn't want to kiss you? Are we forcing people to kiss now? I don't even really like kissing....<br /><br />Can we change it to<br /><br />"6) I truly believe the world would be a much, much happier place if everyone got to kiss or donkey punch everyone they wanted to. Just once. I would probably kiss or donkey punch everyone I know."Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06458312374206982440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-84727127266741918952009-05-17T23:17:00.000-04:002009-05-17T23:17:00.000-04:00I once kissed a guy who I knew didn't like me that...I once kissed a guy who I knew didn't like me <I>that way</I>, just because I wanted to. He was leaving for the summer, and I figured dammit, why the hell not? Who knows what could happen? Essentially what happened was he laughed at me and patted me on the head, said "Goodbye friend," and went back inside his house. I doubt I'll ever get to a place where I regret that tiny little kiss.<br /><br />Here's the thing though - I gave him some warning. I looked him in the eye and told him I was going to invade his personal space for a second before I kissed him, and that, at least for me, is something important. <br /><br />Kissing is an intimate act, and when suddenly pulled out of context, no matter WHO is moving in for the smooch, it can be extremely awkward and, yes, terrifying. I could think you're the cutest, most awesome guy (or girl) in the world, but if you surprise me with the lean-in, there's a good chance I'm going to get a deer-in-the-headlights look. I wouldn't say it's necessarily the person who's scary - just the situation.<br /><br />I'm all about going for it though. Kiss away! Ask that cute guy/girl on a date! Take the risk and say yes! Just make sure that there's some kind of awareness and/or agreement, or you might get that "Oh my gosh, what the hell is going on?!" stare.<br /><br /><br /><br />Also, I've gotten my kiss from B, and I loved every second of it.ali dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07315380273775485622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-30876530681985992672009-05-17T22:14:00.000-04:002009-05-17T22:14:00.000-04:00someone you know, definitely.someone you know, definitely.Jason Heathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15411144857939292461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848471753025049912.post-56547200465659239452009-05-17T21:49:00.000-04:002009-05-17T21:49:00.000-04:00I think the one corollary I would add is this -- i...I think the one corollary I would add is this -- it has to be someone who knows you. Even if it's just slightly. You don't get to go kissing random celebrities. <br /><br /><br /><br />And to this day a part of my life and attitude toward human interaction is affected by that first look from a female years ago when I went in for a very awkward kiss. Even if this rule was in place, part of me would still be hesitant to partake in it.Max Novahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13522117558163279988noreply@blogger.com