1. On the Nose Dialogue
I have a hypothesis. I believe that the people who wrote the first and second seasons of Heroes were attacked and killed, all individually, in their homes, by a group of opportunistic children driven mad by watching too much television. Then, these mindless children took over the daunting task of writing the show, and are still manning the ship to this day.
This is one of many hypotheses I have as to what might have happened to the original writers of Heroes, others involve anti-social calc students and numerous retarded sheepdogs. Either way, the Heroes writing has gone from perfectly acceptable to inhumanely bad. The show literally insults you by summarizing everything that happened in the past month at the start of every episode. And what in the world ever happened to subtext? Or having characters act on their emotions, instead of just stating them blatantly? This exchange from last night says it all-
SYLAR'S AWFUL SIDEKICK WHO I WISH WAS DEAD-"You're not gonna kill me?"
SYLAR-"That would be a bit on the nose."
Yeah Heroes, it sure would. Which leads me to my next point.
2. Sylar
What started out as one of the coolest, most maniacal, evil for the sake of evil characters to ever grace TV has now been reduced to an unmotivated pawn-a whining child who bends to any whim, and seems to have no character or ideals he can call his own. In the span of one season, Sylar-
Is a bad guy.
Becomes a good guy.
Falls in love with Elle.
Becomes a bad guy again (with Elle).
Becomes a good guy again.
Becomes a bad guy again.
Kills Elle (for no reason).
What made Sylar so scary was that he would do anything. He was uncontrollable, a literal human monster. But Sylar could always justify his reasons for killing with his own twisted logic. Now, nothing he does makes sense. To anyone. Just look at him now-traveling cross country with the most annoying kid in the world (why is he still alive) looking for his dad. Why do we care about this? We don't. No one does.
3. Lack of Character Motivation
I alluded to this in the Sylar section, but it seems like characters on Heroes do things constantly without motivation. Why did Sylar kill Elle? Why did Elle tell the man at the car rental place that Sylar was a killer after convincing him he was a good guy at heart? Why did Nathan decide to round up and arrest all his friends? Why did Daphne decide she loves Parkman? Why does Angela Patrelli do ANYTHING??? The Heroes wander through the world, having no idea why they are there or what their purpose is. It makes you wonder what the purpose of watching the show is.
4. No One Stays Dead
This is okay in comic books (sometimes). In TV, it's just damn annoying. Especially when they finally kill off Daphne, who is utterly unbearable, only to bring her back two episodes later! She got shot, like, nine times! She's not 50 Cent! How is she still alive? And what was the point of digging up Adam, only to kill him off moments later? I'm just waiting for Elle to come back. You know she will. Actually, I'd be okay with that. Kristin Bell is gorgeous.
5. The Gradual Retardation of Hiro Nakamura
He used to be so adorable. What made Hiro so great was not that he was childlike, or a moron, it was that he had powers and loved them. To pieces. That first "Yata!" in Times Square, that moment of absolute joy when he first teleported was so fun to watch because of how much he was enjoying it. Hiro was an everyman-he displayed so brilliantly the excitement and uninhibited happiness you or I would have if we woke up to find we could bend time and space. But turn him into a ten year old (literally and figuratively) and just a general moron, and you're left with an annoying character who headlines pointless B stories. He's gone from a grown man who loved being alive to a mindless idiot. And that's damn depressing.
Honorable Mentions
1. Calling powers "abilities."
2. Daphne
3. Ando getting powers
4. Daphne
5. Sylar's New Sidekick
6. No one ever using their powers
7. Daphne
8. Parkman using his powers and looking like a moron
9. I hate Daphne
10. Tracy Strauss/Jessica/Whatever the other persons name was, just Ali Larter in general. Terrible. Brings shame to the Strauss name.
Every week I ask myself, why do I still watch this show? And I think it's because I see it's potential. I see that Heroes has all the elements of a great television show. And I want to see that magic recaptured so badly, like it was in season one. I don't know if it ever will be. I suspect it wont. But, if it is, I'll be watching...
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