Ok, I know I sound like a neurotic conspiracy theorist, but here's the thing: the shovel that is currently sitting on my porch is not the same shovel that was there last week. My roommate is completely oblivious, but I know I'm right.
These are the facts:
On Tuesday, I did a bit of shoveling, then left town to avoid Blizzard: Part II. I came home on Friday night, and woke up bright and early Saturday morning in order to get some more shoveling done before work. (Our driveway is currently filled with snow, and since parking is scarce on our street, it would be nice if the driveway were clear.) The snow had formed a shell of ice, which made shoveling particularly difficult. As I stomped my foot on the shovel in order to dig into this ice shell, I realized that something was wrong: the blade was cracking from the pressure!
I hadn't really been paying attention to the tool in my hand, but now I paused. Yes, this had the same ergonomic shape, but it was definitely not our shovel. I'm sure that ours had a wooden handle, and this one was plastic. There was no way that this handle, molded plastic that is was, could have separated from the blade, the way that mine had in the aftermath of the December snow storm. Further, said blade was not at all the sturdy, stomp-proof one that I remembered.
So I know I'm not crazy- I've used logic to deduce that this is not the same shovel. But here's where logic fails me: is one of my neighbors really crazy enough to perform a clandestine shovel-swap?
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And so we witness the end.
10 years ago
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