You Know You're From Montgomery County...

By Jason and Scotty

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MONTGOMERY COUNTY IF...
- Your high school experience was half asian, half jew, and you.
- You once had a snow day on the threat of sunshine.
- You've gotten dirty looks while driving in Kemp Mill.
- You've gotten mugged in Takoma Park, right in front of the scenic Electric Maid.
- You won't be at all surprised when everyone in Kentlands drinks the Kool-Aid.
- You were once in Poolesville. You still don't know why.
- You know Damascus is a two-flavor town. (Jiffy Cone rules! kinda.)
- You're Jewish but aren't afraid of going to camp in Germantown.
- You want to beat the shit out of everyone who hangs out in front of UA Bethesda.
- You know 90210 was originally Potomac 20854, but they wanted a beach.
- "Jap" is a racist term, but not for the Japanese.
- You once "fed the pig" at Cabin John Park... and we mean it both ways.
- How dare you say my hometown is a strip mall? ...fine.
- Everyone you know from high school went to Harvard... on the Pike (the 'K' stands fro quality)
- Your drug dealer went to Bullis
- You had a dagger pulled on you at Piratz Tavern
- You can find your stolen car at the Barnes & Noble on Saturday Night (hope you like neon green)
- You still pour out a 40 for the Corner Kick
- You never pay for Panera when you can dumpster dive there instead.
- The carousel at Glen Echo scares the shit out of you
- You wait all year for the Stone Ridge Book Fair (and that little old lady knows who you are)
- They're not malls, they're "shopping townEs"
- You got beat at Shadowland by an old lady
- You know the faux pas Hootie made singing 'Don't Go Back to Rockville'... in Rockville.
- You might hate the MVA, but it's still better than Bowl America
- It's 1am - time to go to Travilah Square!
- You know nobody grinds like Magruder