Fallen Gentleman: The resignation of Van Jones

It's been a long time since I've posted on These Gentlemen. For that I apologize. I have been compelled to come out of hiatus to say a few words about integrity, and to highlight a case of someone I believe has it.

Webster's defines integrity as "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values." Integrity isn't about always winning, and it's not about always being right. But it IS about seeking Truth and sticking to your gut unless thoroughly convinced your understanding of the situation is incorrect or otherwise misguided. As such, Integrity is a core component of the proper Gentleman.

The problem with integrity is it's very inconvenient to those who use less than honest means to accomplish their goals, and many of these dishonest folks are in positions of great power. My ears always perk up when I hear a story about a concerned member of an organization coming forward with claims or concerns only to be treated as if they have done something wrong. Pay close attention to any situation in which someone is being demonized on thin facts or getting put down at an especially convenient time in regards to someone else's agenda. It so often means a threat to the darkness is being neutralized, and an injustice is being protected.

So, Van Jones. If you haven't heard the news, he just resigned from his post as "Green Jobs Czar" partially over backlash from his signing of a 9/11 Truth petition back in 2004. I am not claiming to know much about Mr. Jones. I don't collect government appointee trading cards, and I'm not such an Obama fanboy as to know the personal hobbies of his team. But from what I have read I believe him to be a man of integrity. It takes balls to admit you're a "revolutionary" in this day and age, even though our Founding Fathers were by definition revolutionaries themselves. Even though Jefferson tells us each generation NEEDS its own revolution. I haven't heard one damn reason why his "radical" beliefs are antithetical to the progress of this nation and its people. (If you have, please post a link in the comments.)

Re: 9/11 Truthers. My personal ethos leads me to the sentiment that no individual should be unduly demonized for questioning their (democratically elected) officials or government, especially about earth-shattering events. I often think of the tact the government likes to take on private citizens, usually through law enforcement. You know the one, "If you've done nothing wrong you've got nothing to hide." So why is it that when a respected individual decides to question or stand up to government, or another kind of organization, the response is so often half-answers and political/career assassinations? I know some of the "Truthers" are a bit out there. I've engaged several in conversation and found a few DEFINITELY have the crazy eyes. But I've also talked to genuinely concerned citizens with honest questions that haven't been thoroughly answered. Van Jones just happens to be one of them.

A second excuse for the railroading of Van Jones was a statement he made about Republicans in February of this year at a lecture to the Council on Environmental Quality. Basically, Van called Republicans "assholes" and explained that at some point folks on the left are gonna have to be a bit more assertive in order to counter GOP assholery. While not exactly prudent wording for a political appointee, his colorful language is rather on the mark. I would have probably said it more like: "The Republican party has mastered the ability to present a united front, and expertly employs aggressive and unethical tactics and rhetoric to intimidate opponents and mislead constituents. Eventually Democrats are going to have to get together and shut that machine down." Semantics aside, Jones is right on the money.



Sidenote: I must repeat what I've said in the past. I AM NOT A DEMOCRAT. I support Truth. Not 9/11 truth, although I suppose that'd count if the public story isn't exactly what went down. I'm talking about Universal Truth. The Truth that must be spelled with a capital "T." Whatever IS, regardless of what we THINK we know, that is what I believe in.

Following that logic, I'm in no way saying I know Truth. I merely claim to seek it. What my search shows me right now is, as a team, the Republicans have been sacrificing Truth to the god of war and plunder for the last decade, at least. The Dems as well I'm sure, but the Republicans are seriously freaking me out. I haven't heard much of anything in the way of solutions coming from their team at all since they handed the country over to the Left. All I'm hearing from the Right is bloody murder about how Obama is ruining the country that was f@#$ing screwed before most of us even knew who he was.

According to another fallen Gentleman of integrity, former head of the Government Accountability Office, David Walker, we've got a Social Security/Medicare deficit of $59 trillion and two unnecessary wars going on, and somehow Obama's $7 trillion stimulus package is the cause of all our problems? Didn't the first bank bailout happen under Bush? The president wants to give our students a pep talk and the right cries "indoctrination," as if Ronald Reagan talking to students about guns, drugs, and God was appropriate. They decry his frequent vacations when Dubya took more vacation time than only one other president, good ole Reagan!

These tactics are disingenuous at best. It's an exploitation of the relatively open forum that Obama "allows", unlike Bush's lack of transparency and general squashing of opposition voice. (Valerie Plame, much?) Further, these tactics are being employed in lieu of giving a shit about the state of the world, socially, politically, economically, and ecologically.

I guess what I'm getting at is: don't let those with integrity stand alone. They will likely sacrifice themselves for the greater good, but if more of us thought for ourselves and sought Truth over easy answers and simple comfort, they wouldn't have to, and the world may have a fighting chance of getting through the coming storm.
--

So just out of curiosity, who thinks it makes sense that Van Jones was railroaded out of his position where he was trying to create green jobs in an ailing economy while Dick Cheney has never been properly taken to task about his authorizations of torture or his secret energy cabal?

Breaking: Jedi President Puts Shame in Empire's Game

Barack "Bad Mother Fucker" Obama is at it again. This time he's taking his limited edition Mace Windu purple light saber to the Empire's budgetary shenanigans. Watch how he says what everyone's (read: learned people) been thinking and then almost imperceptibly changes his tone to lay down some serious intimidation towards the Empire as they undoubtedly scramble for a strategy.

Oh yes, the Force is strong with this one.



(in case you prefer text)

Everything is Amazing Right Now...

...and nobody is happy. I just came across this video on a friend's facebook feed (thanks Scott!) and had to post it asap. Consider it an unofficial Part II to my Sesame Street GOP post earlier today.

The underlying point in my Sesame Street metaphor was not entirely about how lost the republicans are, and it wasn't really alluding at all to how the democrats are basically saving our ass right now. Why? Because political parties are not based on specific ideologies, sticking with one party is intellectually equivalent to being rabidly loyal to a sports team. Fact is, the republicans won't be lost forever, and the democrats are bound to start acting like jackasses again at some point. It just happens that the democrats are collectively more on the right wavelength with the people for this moment in history, frankly at a time when they couldn't ALL suck and still expect to keep their jobs.

Maybe Obama's biggest bailout was to the American political system.

Tragically, the underlying game of politics is still omnipresent, and it's still a load of bullshit. 99% of most* career politicians' jobs is to argue about money and rules, and try to gain leverage over the other guy. Outside in the real world their rules can only limit us because they are always one step behind our understanding of the world, and their turf battles will only cause collateral damage because they are often fought with tanks and bombs. But things are changing, fast.

Which gets me to the point of this post: Louis CK on Conan O'Brien.

Enjoy!




*there are exceptions to EVERY single rule that ever was and ever will be, deal with it.

What Kind of Sesame Street Operation Are They Running At The GOP, Anyway?

(Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele feverishly rebuilding the party)

Dunno who's been paying attention lately, but the Republicans are seriously grasping at straws. First you've got my homeboy, Maryland Native(?) Michael Steele, who was recently elected Chairman of the Republican National Committee... AND he's black (how novel!). He recently promised an "Off the hook" campaign to win the hearts and minds of young voters in "urban hip hop settings." Clearly, this guy has his finger on the pulse of America. I just wish I could have been there when he told a room full of rich old white guys that the future of their beloved party is in poor brown kids.

Next you've got Guy Smi... I mean Bobby "That's not my real name but I'll do anything to sound more American" Jindal. He is definitely the rising star of the Republican party and he's already being floated as their presidential contender in 2012. Unfortunately, the party squandered another opportunity to bolster his national appeal when they put him center stage to respond to Obama's address to Congress last night. Jindal's critique was unclear and misdirected. He tried to blame democrats for the last 8 years of reckless (war) spending even though the republicans were totally in charge for 6 of those years, claims to reject a bunch of bailout money even though he's actually accepting 98% of it, then gave an inaccurate critique of the bailout package.

There may very well be a bunch of BS in the bailout, which is why I'm left wondering why he decided to talk shit about non-existent funding for a maglev rail line from Las Vegas to Disneyland. To be clear, there ARE billions of dollars in the recovery package for high speed rail, but none of it is specifically earmarked for a line to run from the most sinful place on the planet to Las Vegas. He also took issue with a couple hundred million dollars for "volcano monitoring." Um, Bobby, one of our states IS a volcano. What's worse, his delivery came off to most of us like we were his second grade class.

So yeah. Republicans STILL out of touch. No big surprise there. Here's my recommendation: ditch Guy Smiley and Mr. Lucky. They aren't resonating with America. If you want fiscal responsibility, recruit Oscar the Grouch, that guy has been living on nothing since I was a kid! And he's ALWAYS so pessimistic. No doubt he'd make a great republican. Next, if you want the urban hip-hop scene you gotta get the Count. That dude is a pimp AND a bloodsucker. Conservative fa show!

That's all I got for now (since I'm supposedly working). But just in case the RNC takes me up on my advice to go after the Count, allow me to leave you all with proof he's a quintessential republican/ammo for the democrats to ruin him:




P.S. I am NOT a democrat. I am a human being and I have a brain. Both parties suck in general, but damn are the Republicans screwin' the pooch right now. Considering the recent sex scandals, you may take that literally.

Rebuilding the Republic One Star Wars Metaphor at a Time

OMG WE ELECTED A JEDI PRESIDENT!

I know I'm not the first to say it on the intarwebz, but it kicked me in the blast shield last week when I came across a post on Politico.com informing me that George Lucas has bestowed upon Barrack Obama the distinction of being able to "take" Luke Skywalker in a fight! Now Lucas has been pushin' the Obama = Jedi concept since sometime during the campaign, but this was the first time I've heard of him ranking Obama's ass-kicking abilities directly against my childhood heroes. Methinks someone is kissing some serious Obam-ass.

Upon reading this nugget of nerdy nostalgia, I immediately asked myself how I should interpret the audacious allusion. Patently ridiculous? (they're both Jedi so they wouldn't be throwin' down, CHELLOOO?!) Or potentially awesome? Are we comparing our President to young, untrained, impetuous Luke from Hope, or badass, black-cloak wearing, Jedi-Mind-Tricking-his-way-into-Jabba's-den-and-fucking-shit-up Luke from Jedi?" Then I thought "Is this what I really do with my brain's spare processing capacity?" Then I thought "Did I just refer to my mental wanderings as 'what I do with my brain's spare processing capacity?'" Having answered the second two questions with a bemused "apparently," I was back to my previous train of thought.

Now I know I'm about twelve parsecs behind on the whole Star Wars-to-real-life metaphor meme, but I feel compelled to jump in anyway. Why? Because with few exceptions all I see out there are shallow character references and decent audio/visual editing. I did find one serious attempt at political analysis in Andrew Sarris' piece found in the New York Observer, but it's WAY off base.

In the piece, Mr. Sarris reviews Episode III: Revenge of the Sith looking for jabs at the Bush Administration. While I generally agree with his findings on the matter, it doesn't exactly take a genius to apply the quote "This is how liberty dies-to thunderous applause" to G Dub's re-election less than six months after the second inauguration. Frankly, I think this analysis sucks (classy, I know). The reason why I think it sucks is that Mr. Sarris openly admits ALWAYS hating the films, so why should I a) be surprised or b) care when he then proceeds to oversimplify the rich cultural diversity and complex societal interactions that take place in the Star Wars universe? But I digress, Mr. Sarris is clearly in the film industry, not politics. So I'll give him a pass... this time.

What I wanna know is, where are all my wonky Star Wars geeks at?! The world can't afford to wait for you, there is too much metaphorical extrapolation 99% of the planet cannot possibly understand without a deep connection to The Force! So until you all climb out of your personal Sarlacc Pits, I'm just gonna have to try to (no try, only do!) this concept some justice.

(Don't tell anybody but I think I'm promising a continuing series here.)

For this introductory post, allow me to set the scene:

Emporor Palpatine and his powerful puppet Darth Vapid have been removed from power. The empire is in disarray and on the brink of dissolution. But fear not, there is A NEW HOPE! A promising young Jedi has been democratically elected to bring peace, prosperity, and order to the chaos! However, politics is a dangerous game. One rife with scum and villainy. One the Jedi have been wise to avoid whenever possible. Can our young Jedi leader navigate the rampant greed and incessant scheming of the Galactic Senate without succumbing to the Dark Side? Can we even say with all certainty he has done so thus far?

What lies ahead as we reach a point in history most of you probably thought would be far, far away?

To Be Continued...

P.S. I wanted to end this introductory installment with a video I found on YouTube. I think it does a great job of illustrating the struggle Obama went through to win the Democratic Nomination. I especially appreciate the allusion to the Clinton's as Sith, not because I think they are evil per se, but because it's obvious that they are loyal to the Empire. That and Hillary DOES scare the shit out of me.

Just one question...

HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL?

25 Random Facts About Myself

by Michael Phelps

(this is a guest column)

Hi everyone. Long time reader, first time writer. I wrote one like, months ago on my fbook account back before it was super popular, and I thought I'd share it all with you now. Same rules apply... Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you it's because I want to know more about you.

----------

1) When I was little, they told me I had ADHD, and to help me find an outlet for my energy, I started swimming.

2) the secret to my success is that when I'm in the water, I just pretend Ron Jeremy is behind me chasing me. Like right behind me.

3) i am awesome. oh that wasn't a secret? my bad.

4) the best sex I ever had was with Oprah (who, by the way, would totally make a kick-ass Batman, just sayin')

(O-MG so good)

5) Lil Wayne's last album was my favorite album of the year. I think it's the best album since Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise.

(best rap album EVER?)

6) I really love to read magazines, and I have a lot of subscriptions to them. I have subscriptions to People, Us Weekly, O, Sports Illustrated, US News and World Report, TIME, the Economist, and High Times.

(this is a good magazine)

7) I cry easily during movies, and I'm a real sucker for animal movies. I cried so much during Seabiscuit that I ran out of tears. And I just recently saw Marley and Me, which was way sadder than I though it was going to be.

(I couldn't believe the ending)

8) It is a personal goal of mine to be named one of People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. I think I deserve it.

9) I've been taking swing dancing lessons since I was 14, but I've never gotten a chance to show that side of me off. That's why I less-than-secretly want to be on Dancing With the Stars... I think I'd have a good shot to win.

10) I am 100% confident I could beat Aquaman in swim competition, but he has not responded to the voicemails I left him challenging him.

(O-ver-rated)

11) I can quote virtually any episode of Friends.

12) I tell my mom she's an inspiration to me all the time, and I mean it.

13) My favorite books are picture books, especially the ones that have pop-out images. Everyone else probably threw theirs away when they were like 8 or something but I kept mine. I try to read every night before going to bed with my girlfriends.

14) My favorite girlfriend right now is Hillary. I think she's my favorite because she never complains about having to share me with my other girlfriends, and I really like that about her.

(Hillary Duff)

15) In high school I didn't have many friends. Living well is the best revenge is it not?

16) Ian Thorpe was like a God to me growing up. Now that I've topped his accomplishments, I figure that basically makes me a God too.

(human torpedo? my ass)

17) I'm currently gathering together a campaign team to help me run for Mayor of Baltimore after my swimming career is done. It is after all the greatest city in America. My first order of business would be to turn the Baltimore Aquarium into my own swimming pool.

("BALTIMORE: the Greatest City in America")

18) My teammates sometimes call me "Gomer" - based on Gomer Pyle who was the good-natured, naïve country boy played by Jim Nabors on the Andy Griffith Show.

("Gomer")

19) Speedo's hurt.

20) I can’t stop playing Pokemon on gameboy.

21) I could never eat chocolate again and be perfectly fine, but if they ever discontinue the production of Swedish fish, I'm in big trouble!

22) I have only been in love once... with myself!!

23) I don't know why Alex Rodriguez got to be lead guitar... but I am DEF the superior Rock Band player.



24) I was TIME's 2006 Person of the Year :P

25) the Naked Party was my favorite play of 2008.

Into the Inaugural Madness!

Becka and I waiting for the sea of people to part.
(realized Moses would be no help to us on this one so we started playing the "excuse me" game)

I've been telling people the party I'm going to is 6 inches from the security zone... I thought I was exaggerating... (My door on left, security checkpoint on right!)

Becka had the right idea being the meat in this sandwich ;)

This was the view on all sides.

AND THIS IS WHAT SMART PEOPLE DID!

The Real Cause of the US Airways Flight 1545 Crash -OR- Dr. Jones Suddenly Remembers His Charlemagne

A little late but I just had to.

There and Back Again: A Journey of the Heart

I am repeatedly awestruck by the writing on our humble blog. What beautifully woven stories. Jason, your travel camp musings bring me back to the years I spent riding bikes to nowhere, getting half an hour of "nintendo time" at my buddy's house, and eating McDonald's for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and a sensible dinner (McDonald's again). David, your tale of love lost (hopefully not forever, my friend) reminds me of just how much we humans suffer in our search for understanding and companionship.

Thanks to writing of this caliber I have had a rather striking revelation about myself: I ache for the ability to synthesize the events of my own life as well as those of my Gentlemanly counterparts. I am a natural debater that could wax philosophic for hours on any given topic. I rant at will, and sometimes against it. But when it comes to matters of the heart I find myself awkward, tongue-tied, or outright speechless. This fact has always been a matter of great distress to me (and certainly distressing to anyone who has been close enough to me for it to matter).

I tell myself I am an open book and to a certain extent it rings true. I'm the kind of guy that will freely share the most significant and emotionally intense events of my life with people I barely know, if they ask. But nowhere in my coping process do I believe I actually delve into the core emotions involved. Instead, what I do in emotionally charged scenarios is review facts and apply (cold?) logic to determine potential changes in my operating assumptions.

This has not turned out to be an entirely negative thing, far from it. I am proud of my ability to look past "the me" of the situation to see how my problems are just like everyone else's, only different. This has helped to keep me (relatively) humble, to care for others, and to truly empathize with people and populations that are often far outside of my daily perspective. It has also helped me to develop an outward personality that is (almost) unflappably positive. My problems suck, but all told I've got it great!

However, without the ability to put painful feelings into words, even in my own head, I generally end up just reinvesting them deeper into a realm of silent heartache or self-consuming anxiety. Ever held a guitar up to an amplifier and plucked a chord? It can sound awesome when it's a good note and you know how to control the reverb, but at its worst it turns into a shrieking banshee that creates an overwhelming urge to flee the immediate area... same deal here, but all in my head/heart.

This is a bridge I know I must cross, from logical mind to emotional heart and back again. If I cannot develop my feelings into thoughts expressable to myself and others I may never (again) be able to open up in a way that allows me to develop and enjoy a truly intimate relationship. So I think the most significant asset I hope to gain, and give, from being a Gentleman is a more open and honest understanding of myself, even if that means offering that understanding up to the interpretation of teh intarwebz.

So this is me stepping off the edge, hoping Dr. Jones Sr.'s diary was right about the invisible bridge.

I genuinely fear the alternative.

"A New and Refreshingly Different Experience"

Change. The theme of this year's Presidential Election. The agent at the center of all peril and progress. The story of my life.

So lucky day for me this past November 4th when me and 300 million of my closest friends scored a young, hip, populist president that fits two fundamental criteria I didn't realize I had for a president until Barack Obama exhibited them so effectively throughout his campaign:

1) The foresight to treat our challenges as opportunities.
2) Placing science AND the will of the people at the center of policy-making decisions without oppressing minority populations (race, tax bracket, choice of creative or religious expression, etc).

Before I start sounding like an Obama fanboy, allow me to mention a couple of early Obama moves I'm none-too-thrilled about. I'm not impressed with his choice of Sanjay Gupta for Surgeon General. Feels too much like reality tv for me. Couldn't we get someone with more credentials than notoriety? And I'm not impressed with his one sentence answer regarding cannabis legalization given it was the highest rated question on the change.gov site, which he opened explicitly to get valuable feedback from the people. It was especially shady that they reordered the top 5 list when they sent out the responses. For some reason the question voted #1 was listed #4 and shafted in the "legitimate answer" department. But I understand how the political game works, and from what I've gathered of the man, I fully expect Obama to give us the opportunity to EARN the policy changes we the people truly want to see. Not only that, I expect him to do it without having to stick his neck out far enough for the status quo to chop his head off.

My theory is that Barack Obama's most potent weapon is the ability to understand and manipulate the variables at play to reach a reasonable outcome for most of those affected.

[tangent alert!]

Understanding the variables at play in any given situation creates a marked advantage towards monopolizing available resources. Up until very recently, those "in power," to me meaning those with monetary, celebrity, or political influence, have had near exclusive access to most of the variables which determine resource distribution. Don't get me wrong, I am not here to place blame. Society has always lived and died on "bread and circuses." What we the people need to realize is that thanks to the wonders of modern technology we don't need the middleman anymore.

With the ability to share knowledge globally in real time comes a better informed, better educated, and better trained populace. For the first time in recorded history the human species has a means for a fair and democratic distribution of responsibility and reward. With a more evenly distributed level of control over resources, we can stop handing our resources over to the corporations and governments that are then charged with the task of designing, building, and packaging our destiny for us just to sell it back to us on a sliding scale. (Now 25% more sensation of being victimized, free!)

To give an example of a resource that has been denied us, I give you the sham that is network and cable television. A few relatively enlightening channels and programs notwithstanding, I am pretty ashamed of what gets sold to us over "the people's airwaves." Just google "worst reality shows" and you'll see what I mean. Of course that is just the tip of the iceberg. People actually have to turn that crap on for it to infect them. Dont' get me started on my dad's Maury Povich addiction.

But what about those who try to get informed? 24-hour news networks suck and I think most people know it. I thank Jon Stewart for every montage he's every put together showing just how vacuous and/or misleading cable news tends to be. The fact that most news outlets and television stations are owned by major corporations that are busy selling us everything else we don't necessarily need is one of the most disconcerting aspects of our consumer culture. It's up to us to seek and provide better information to each other.

[/tangent]

So it's officially 7 days before we trade G Dub for Obama and honestly I couldn't be happier. There is simply no way the next four years will see worse leadership than the last four years, and I am comfortable with the man the country chose to lead. How does everyone nerdy enough to like this blog (or unfortunate enough to "stumble upon" [tm] it) feel about how close we got, in TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIGHT, to electing a president that needs his wife to help him send an email?! (link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/11/mccain-admits-he-doesnt-k_n_106478.html).

But no, we got change. We got Obama. We got the almost polar opposite of John McCain and the hopefully now defunct era of neoconservative republicanism. This was not just a partisan affair, however. I don't even consider myself a democrat. As the youngest contender in the race I strongly feel Obama was the only contender on the right side of a socio-technologic-philosophic(al) generation gap. From his choice of Nobel Laureate and green technology genius Steven Chu to his innovative outreach efforts with Change.gov and Change.org (shady dodging of the legalization question notwithstanding), Barack Obama has so far done much to prove to me that he is truly going about things differently.

I'll give the skeptics their due and (mostly) agree that for now it's all rhetoric. But I just can't help but find myself a few steps beyond cautious optimism. What a new and refreshingly different experience.