Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What Kind of Sesame Street Operation Are They Running At The GOP, Anyway?

(Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele feverishly rebuilding the party)

Dunno who's been paying attention lately, but the Republicans are seriously grasping at straws. First you've got my homeboy, Maryland Native(?) Michael Steele, who was recently elected Chairman of the Republican National Committee... AND he's black (how novel!). He recently promised an "Off the hook" campaign to win the hearts and minds of young voters in "urban hip hop settings." Clearly, this guy has his finger on the pulse of America. I just wish I could have been there when he told a room full of rich old white guys that the future of their beloved party is in poor brown kids.

Next you've got Guy Smi... I mean Bobby "That's not my real name but I'll do anything to sound more American" Jindal. He is definitely the rising star of the Republican party and he's already being floated as their presidential contender in 2012. Unfortunately, the party squandered another opportunity to bolster his national appeal when they put him center stage to respond to Obama's address to Congress last night. Jindal's critique was unclear and misdirected. He tried to blame democrats for the last 8 years of reckless (war) spending even though the republicans were totally in charge for 6 of those years, claims to reject a bunch of bailout money even though he's actually accepting 98% of it, then gave an inaccurate critique of the bailout package.

There may very well be a bunch of BS in the bailout, which is why I'm left wondering why he decided to talk shit about non-existent funding for a maglev rail line from Las Vegas to Disneyland. To be clear, there ARE billions of dollars in the recovery package for high speed rail, but none of it is specifically earmarked for a line to run from the most sinful place on the planet to Las Vegas. He also took issue with a couple hundred million dollars for "volcano monitoring." Um, Bobby, one of our states IS a volcano. What's worse, his delivery came off to most of us like we were his second grade class.

So yeah. Republicans STILL out of touch. No big surprise there. Here's my recommendation: ditch Guy Smiley and Mr. Lucky. They aren't resonating with America. If you want fiscal responsibility, recruit Oscar the Grouch, that guy has been living on nothing since I was a kid! And he's ALWAYS so pessimistic. No doubt he'd make a great republican. Next, if you want the urban hip-hop scene you gotta get the Count. That dude is a pimp AND a bloodsucker. Conservative fa show!

That's all I got for now (since I'm supposedly working). But just in case the RNC takes me up on my advice to go after the Count, allow me to leave you all with proof he's a quintessential republican/ammo for the democrats to ruin him:




P.S. I am NOT a democrat. I am a human being and I have a brain. Both parties suck in general, but damn are the Republicans screwin' the pooch right now. Considering the recent sex scandals, you may take that literally.

16 comments:

Jason Heat said...

Boy do I love the muppets.

David Pratt said...

This country, nay, this world will be greatly improved when people communicate only through muppets.

Ozkirbas said...

We're all muppets in some way

Jason Heat said...

I'm totally Kermit

Damo said...

That being said, which muppet do you think you guys are? I think I'm a cross between Kermit, Animal, and Dr. Bunsen.

Jason Heat said...

I kind of love how the point of this post was all about politics, but the discussion is entirely about muppets.

Shows our priorities a bit?

Damo said...

To be honest, I'd LOVE some political response here but I'd prefer it be in the form of a muppet metaphor.

Ozkirbas said...

Muppets are totally more important than politics.

I have no clue which Muppet I am
I know I'm not Oscar the Grouch
I'm also afraid I might be Big Bird

Who the hell is Elmo?

AZWiner said...

am I elmo?? am I emo?? I'm not even sure what it all means...

that said, I agree with Damo on a lot of this. I watched the speeches last night mostly with the anticipation to watch Jindal have his biggest spotlight yet, though I was very pleased with Obama's words. a friend was commenting about how long obama's speech was and how it wasn't super detailed. i then called her spoiled and said DO YOU NOT REMEMBER BUSH??

and when he was talking about volcano research... i was thinking, won't that probably create jobs AND make people safer?

but what were the other options? Miss Piggy Palin?

David Pratt said...

Things would be going a lot easier for the GOP if they didn't seem reactionary rather than proactive.

Example: Hillary Clinton does not receive presidential nomination. Sarah Palin is brought in because Republicans think they can snatch up disenfranchised Hillary voters. Essentially saying "we don't think women actually have any sort of political acumen, we just think they want to vote for a woman."

Example 2: Steel is introduced as the new RNC Chairman after Obama is inaugurated. Because, once again, they're putting forth the idea that "it seems the nation likes black people. Well look at Republicans! We've got a black people!"

I like to believe that the majority of the country adheres to conservative values. The GOP has abandoned those in favor of pandering and idiotic political missteps. If they really want to make a claim towards relevance again, they shouldn't be trying to find someone who can stand toe-to-toe with Obama. They don't need their own Obama. They need someone that stands out as uniquely their own, and not a reaction to anybody else.

And I'm the Count.

Jason Heat said...

What is your personal definition of 'conservative' values?

B.Graham said...

Well that's the problem, I think. Your "personal definition" of conservative values? Isn't there an official spectrum or dusty pie chart lying around somewhere? I mean it's morphed and twisted and become something totally different in the last 4-8 years, but I'm pretty sure it's a definition, not a feeling.

And I WANT to be Skeeter, but I'm told I'm Gonzo.

Ozkirbas said...

I think it also depends on which conservative values you choose to focus on. I think people forget that politics, much like many other human perspective, is a spectrum. And I think a lot of that has to do with labeling.

I also spent some time on wikipedia and I think I've decided that I am Fozzy Bear. Feel free to disagree

Nate said...

From what Ive been told (by someone who was there) Steele didnt just waltz into the spot like the token black guy, he had to fight to win the chairmanship, and it was a close race, something like 8 rounds of balloting (I may be using the wrong terminology here, not sure...). Steele has also been pretty active and visible for a number of republican organizations, and was the LGov here in MD too, so its not like he came out of nowhere (IE palin...). My 10 cents.

I thought Jindal looked like a shoe-polished (think: silver streak) mr rodgers.

Damo said...

Nate you are absolutely right. Michael Steele didn't just come out of nowhere to be the token black guy. But given all the other actions and rhetoric spewing from what is either the Republican mouth or ass (hard to tell which these days), their choice (after 8 votes) for Chairmanship of the RNC was incredibly calculated and poorly executed.

So, should be a fun ride. Let's watch!

AZWiner said...

REACTION TO THE VOLCANO COMMENT, dare I say, HEATS UP!!:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/25/jindal.volcanoes/index.html

mwhahahaha!!