Monday, February 2, 2009

25 Random Facts About Myself

by Michael Phelps

(this is a guest column)

Hi everyone. Long time reader, first time writer. I wrote one like, months ago on my fbook account back before it was super popular, and I thought I'd share it all with you now. Same rules apply... Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you it's because I want to know more about you.


1) When I was little, they told me I had ADHD, and to help me find an outlet for my energy, I started swimming.

2) the secret to my success is that when I'm in the water, I just pretend Ron Jeremy is behind me chasing me. Like right behind me.

3) i am awesome. oh that wasn't a secret? my bad.

4) the best sex I ever had was with Oprah (who, by the way, would totally make a kick-ass Batman, just sayin')
(O-MG so good)

5) Lil Wayne's last album was my favorite album of the year. I think it's the best album since Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise.
(best rap album EVER?)

6) I really love to read magazines, and I have a lot of subscriptions to them. I have subscriptions to People, Us Weekly, O, Sports Illustrated, US News and World Report, TIME, the Economist, and High Times.
(this is a good magazine)

7) I cry easily during movies, and I'm a real sucker for animal movies. I cried so much during Seabiscuit that I ran out of tears. And I just recently saw Marley and Me, which was way sadder than I though it was going to be.
(I couldn't believe the ending)

8) It is a personal goal of mine to be named one of People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. I think I deserve it.

9) I've been taking swing dancing lessons since I was 14, but I've never gotten a chance to show that side of me off. That's why I less-than-secretly want to be on Dancing With the Stars... I think I'd have a good shot to win.

10) I am 100% confident I could beat Aquaman in swim competition, but he has not responded to the voicemails I left him challenging him.


11) I can quote virtually any episode of Friends.

12) I tell my mom she's an inspiration to me all the time, and I mean it.

13) My favorite books are picture books, especially the ones that have pop-out images. Everyone else probably threw theirs away when they were like 8 or something but I kept mine. I try to read every night before going to bed with my girlfriends.

14) My favorite girlfriend right now is Hillary. I think she's my favorite because she never complains about having to share me with my other girlfriends, and I really like that about her.
(Hillary Duff)

15) In high school I didn't have many friends. Living well is the best revenge is it not?

16) Ian Thorpe was like a God to me growing up. Now that I've topped his accomplishments, I figure that basically makes me a God too.

(human torpedo? my ass)

17) I'm currently gathering together a campaign team to help me run for Mayor of Baltimore after my swimming career is done. It is after all the greatest city in America. My first order of business would be to turn the Baltimore Aquarium into my own swimming pool.

("BALTIMORE: the Greatest City in America")

18) My teammates sometimes call me "Gomer" - based on Gomer Pyle who was the good-natured, naïve country boy played by Jim Nabors on the Andy Griffith Show.


19) Speedo's hurt.

20) I can’t stop playing Pokemon on gameboy.

21) I could never eat chocolate again and be perfectly fine, but if they ever discontinue the production of Swedish fish, I'm in big trouble!

22) I have only been in love once... with myself!!

23) I don't know why Alex Rodriguez got to be lead guitar... but I am DEF the superior Rock Band player.

24) I was TIME's 2006 Person of the Year :P

25) the Naked Party was my favorite play of 2008.


Daniel said...

I played beer pong with some of dan strauss' friends in college. they said i was kind of a dick.

David Pratt said...

#27: I'm so rich that my hookers come from the Chinese Gymnastics team.

Jason Heat said...

#28 - Chris Holst TOTALLY beat me in a middle school swim meet.

Now I fear him.

ali d said...

#29 - I was invited to Homecoming at Ali Daniels' high school, Maryvale. I showed up drunk. I then actually responded by saying, "Do you know who I am?" when the headmistress (a nun) kicked me out.

Jason Heat said...

#30 - There is a crocodile i know that once swallowed a clock - I now run from the sound of ticking...

Ozkirbas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ozkirbas said...

#31: I believe life after love after love after love

Jason Heat said...

#32 - I can feel something inside myself, I really don't think it's strong enough.

But what am I supposed to do?

Ozkirbas said...

#33 - When I get sad, I swim so no one can see the tears

Jason Heat said...

#34 - I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

Marti said...

Funny how Michael and I share the same passion for Swedish fish...

B.Graham said...

update: I still can't stop playing pokemon on gameboy. you know why? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAT.