Tuesday, January 19, 2010

30 Tiny Truths - 13

13 - Superpowers

I have two superpowers that I know of - temporary invisibility and crowd mastery.

Let's start with the crowd mastery. Years of attending concerts and sporting events have allowed me to realize that I am very very good at moving through a crowd. I can bob and weave like nobody's business. I can get in and get out of a venue like my life depends on it, which alas it does not. But hey, if I catch an earlier metro train on a regular basis that probably adds up to like 3 or 4 extra hours of life that I could have wasted in crowds. I will use this time to cure a very curable form of cancer.

Then there's my invisibility. I can only control it in one particular situation - when I walk up to a bar to order a round, I will suddenly and inexplicably become unseeable by the bartender. This will happen whatever I do. Wave money or not wave money, give them the eye or just look at the tap, it does not matter. It takes me an unnatural amount of time to get served at bars. This power has provided no practical value to date, but I remain hopeful that someday I will somehow foil a criminal bartender trying to commit a crime and thinking (naively!) that no one is around. Sadly I still will not even be rewarded with a beer for my heroics afterward, due to my superpower.




Also, I can juggle.

1 comment:

B.Graham said...

I also have bartender invisibility. Even if I am one of three people at a bar.