The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's time for a confession. One I've kept to myself for a long time, but I just can't find a reason to suppress any longer.

I completely love Christmas music. And uh-oh, what do you know -

"Well sure," someone said to me when I told this to them, "it's after Thanksgiving now, it's okay to listen to it."

But that's not what I mean. I love Christmas music. All the time. From New Years Day to New Years Eve. I love just about every kind of Christmas music. I love the old stuff, I love the new stuff, I love Christmas raps and Christmas song parodies. I love the songs about Jesus and the season, and the stuff about Santa and reindeer. About the only songs concerning Christmas or its indices I don't enjoy are "The Christmas Shoes," (maybe the most unnecessary song ever written) and anything wherein Santa is at the beach because that's soooo zany.

A sand snowman? Too wacky for me, Caillat.

No, I can listen to Christmas music with almost the same enthusiasm as I would Guns n' Roses, or Journey, or anything by the Muppets.

This is the greatest thing ever.

Maybe if there was good Hanukkah music out there I could include some of that, but whoever is in charge of our media conspiracy decided that our most popular songs about the holiday would just be lists of famous Jews..

This one keeps getting left out for some reason.

So all I wanted to do today was talk about some of my favorite Christmas songs, and share what you'll hopefully find to be some pretty good renditions of them.. Be warned that this post is going to be pretty video and link-intensive, but I'm sure we'll all have a good time at the end. So grab some hot cocoa, warm yourself by the fire, and, as I know we need it now more than most years, let's all share some holiday cheer.

RoundTable of Loooove

Valentine's Day has come and gone, but love (and its antithesis) are always in the air.  These Gentlemen gathered 'round the RoundTable to discuss our favorite love and anti-love songs, and they go as thus...


David Pratt
I've got plenty of good love songs I could list here, but in my travels I've come across three exceptional anti-love songs.  I would be remiss not to mention them here, along with my two picks for top two in the pro-love field.

3) "Again I Go Unnoticed" by Dashboard Confessional

Key lyrics:
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

This is a wrenching song for anyone in a relationship where they can tell the days are numbered.  The singer is obviously trying desperately to hold on to a love that is slowly slipping away from him, and not in a dramatic fashion either.  The relationship is over for one of them, and she's going to slowly slip away from a person who doesn't want it to end.

2) "Said the Spider to the Fly" by The Paper Chase

Key lyrics:
Good things die all the time,
God bless your heart, vengeance is mine.
"Kiss me like you mean goodbye," said the spider to the fly.
When all those times you thought that you were wrong, you were right.

This song takes place clearly after the love has already ended, and at least one of the participants is looking back on this with a little bit of bitterness ("when your lover loves to cheat there's another you can meet, it's a short pier it's a long walk - home").  If you want to look back on a failed relationship and be filled with righteous indignation about it, this is the song to listen to.

1)  "Don't Say a Word" by Sonata Arctica

Key lyrics:
Closing your eyes, don't ever say you love me, whore
You never meant a word, I know you lied
When there is life, there is despair, indulge me now
And stay alive this night
I promise you the end before the first light arrives

So, unlike the last two, this song is about an angry, angry relationship and is about as firmly anti-love as you can get.  Whatever happened between the two people in this song was terrible, self-destructive, and mutually devastating, probably from the start.  It takes a special kind of bad break-up to spawn a metal song, and we have a front row seat to it.

I'd also list "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy, but since I'm limited to 5 I'll press on to more uplifting fare.


For Love Songs, I'm trying to stay away from songs that specifically remind me of my girlfriend and stick with those that make great statements about the emotion itself.  So with that in mind, the first two songs I think of are . . .

"Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins

Key lyrics:
I could say that's the way it goes
And I could pretend and you won't know
That I was lying
Cause I can't stop loving you
No I can't stop loving you
No I won't stop loving you
Why should I?

Someone might say "Hey, this song is about a relationship ending, isn't that an anti-love song?" to which I'd say "No, you ignorant pleb, listen CLOSER."  The girl in this song might be walking away from the guy, but he's not going anywhere.  He loves this girl completely, entirely, and so what if she's leaving?  She is all the love he ever wanted or needed - his life is better just for having known her.  The song is strong and up tempo, and swells as it tells the story of her departure.  He doesn't regret a thing.  He found true love.  Why would he ever try to let that go?

"Thank You" by Dido

Key lyrics:
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

So, if you've never seen the video for this song, Dido's having a much worse day then even these lyrics let on.  She's essentially living the plot of the movie "Up," only she's fresh out of balloons.  But the point of her song isn't all the awful stuff she's going through - it's that there's someone in her life who, when all of this happens, still makes everything wonderful simply with their presence.  I don't know kids, that sounds like what love means to me.


Brett Abelman
"When You Smile," Flaming Lips - love song

Maybe it's just because I enjoy a love song that seems to compare love to nuclear fusion, or maybe it's because who but the Flaming Lips could make a love song sound as simultaneously innocent & sweet as it is trippy & dazed?

"Astral Weeks," Van Morrison - love song

I could potentially pick like a hundred Van Morrison songs, but this is my favorite for the transcendent, transported feeling.  At least, its my interpretation that it's a love song; your guess is as good as mine as to what the lyrics really mean:

"If I ventured into the slipstream/Between the viaducts of your dreams/Where immobile steel rims crack/And the ditch in the back roads stop/Would you find me?/Would you kiss my eyes?/To lay me down/In silence easy/To be born again/To be born again."

"Soon It's Gonna Rain," from The Fantasticks - love song

'Cuz I'm a sap, and it was the first stage producion I worked on out of high school.

"Hyperballad," Bjork - love or anti-love song

I know, what?  I pick it because it's either about 1) how love and the comfort of a loved one is the antidote to fear of death in a cosmic, existential way, or 2a) how the narrator is in an unhappy, reclusive relationship so bad the only way she can make it bearable is by contrasting it with a horrible death or 2b) the only way she can bear it is by (metaphorically) imagining that leaving her lover and being single would be like tumbling down a cliff to a horrible death.  It's a multi-purpose lyric!  And personally for all the stereotyping she gets as a ridiculous screecher, her singing here always gives me chills.

"Losing My Religion," REM - love song

It's actually my favorite song of all time, in a most extreme case of "songs mean a lot to you when you hear them at a certain time and associate them with the feeling of the time, regardless of whether they're extremely overexposed and well-known or not."  It was approximately 1997 when I first really heard it, in middle school, and I associate it with my first crushes and all those crazy middle school-y feelings (but, strangely/luckily enough, only the positive ones - hooray for the filter of nostalgia?).  And the lyrics just happen to fit perfectly.  I'll let Michael Stipe explain:

"When you have a crush on somebody, and you think that they understand that but you're not sure, and you're dropping all kinds of hints, and you think that they're responding to these hints but you're not sure -- that's what this song is about: thinking that you've gone too far, you've dropped a hint that is just the size of Idaho, and they responded in a way that maybe confused you, or they haven't responded at all or they responded in a way that seemed like 'well, maybe I'm gonna- maybe I'm- maybe something's gonna happen here!' and I think I've probably said this seven thousand times, but the phrase 'losing my religion' is a southern phrase which means that something has pushed you so far that you would lose your faith over it. Something has pushed you to the nth degree, and that's what this is about. Now, some people still think that it's a song about religion; it's not. It's just a song about having a crush."


Max Nova

1. For reasons trivial and not of relevance now, Coldplay's "clocks" became the soundtrack to one of my early relationships.  Soon after the relationship ended acrimoniously I was in a movie theater and the song was playing quite loudly.  Thus it went from the soundtrack of a relationship to this soundtrack to me peeing.

2. When I was in college, I had a Joy Division shirt and said to friends that the first girl that commented positively was the girl I was gonna marry.  Luckily I did not follow through on that.

3. I wonder if it's possible to have sex to Barry White without giggling hysterically.

4.

A Love Song:

Allo Darlin -My Heart Is a Drummer

5.

Not a Love Song

PIL - This is Not a Love Song

Brittany Graham
I have an annual tradition with a dear friend from high school, in which we send each other Anti-Love mixes for Valentines Day, and I’ll be posting on that later. So, in the interest of balance, all five of my choices are love songs. The very best love songs, in fact.

Weezer – Miss Sweeney: This song wins the award for most adorable EVER. About a man who has a tremendous crush on his coworker and can’t seem to keep his mouth shut about it, I get chills every time I hear that guitar riff in the chorus. This is the bonus track on their recentish Red Album, so don’t tell me Weezer can’t still do it if they put their minds to it.

The Beach Boys – Wouldn’t It Be Nice: I actually don’t like the Beach Boys at all, except for this solitary song, which I LOVE. The idea that a young couple can’t wait to grow up and grow old together really strikes a chord with me, a person who never really wanted young love anyway.

Johnny and June Carter Cash – ‘Cause I Love You: I love this song because I love Johnny and June, and think their story is one of the more romantic of our time. This is why I place them in a tie with a fictional couple with a very similar song, which inextricably binds them in my mind…

Jesse L. Martin and Wilson Jermaine Heredia as Collins and Angel – I’ll Cover You: This song, and its reprise, make me melt into a million little droplets of gooey sad/happiness/feelings. I am of the firm belief that Collins and Angel are the most perfect couple that ever lived. And don’t you even try to tell me they’re not real.

T.V. Carpio – I Want to Hold Your Hand: If given the choice, I don’t often choose the non-Beatles version of a song, but this is one glaring exception. I keep writing sentences about this song, deciding they’re not good/accurate enough, and deleting. Because the feelings I have when I listen to this song (loud, on repeat, and often in my car) are just too strong and uncomplicated, and wordless.

Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not the One: I don’t care what you say about the cheesy early 2000s music. This song destroys me. Every. Single. Time. I also chose it as my character inspiration song for a show I was in, in which I played a young woman in the 1940s who realizes that she is a lesbian, which biases me a bit. But seriously, if you have a soul this song is for you.

Ray Charles – Georgia On My Mind: Songs about the South, and Southern girls in particular, pretty much have full reign of my heartstrings at all times, no matter what. But this song, a love song to his home, gets me every time. For very different reasons, I too left Georgia a long time ago (the ancient 90s), but I feel the exact same way about my original home state. Ray Charles just says it sooo much better.

So there you have it, folks. We feel it. The love, that is. And also, you know, not.  We hope you enjoy our playlist, for the new songs and to commiserate with your favorites. What are your favorite love and anti-love songs? We hope you'll share.

Jonsi - Where did our love go?

On Monday I went to see Jonsi, the lead-singer/guitarist/mystical-Icelandic-wood-nymph of Sigur Ros perform material from his first solo album at the fabulous Nightclub 930. And it left me cold. I should note that I was a huge huge Sigur Ros fan in college, and so in theory it shouldn't have taken much to win me over, but something(s) felt off.

Was I just tired of live music? No, that's not it. I saw Frightened Rabbit the week before, standing in almost the exact same spot at the 930 Club and had a pretty good time. Two days later I saw La Roux, and despite my yawning (it was a later show, after all) I also enjoyed myself.

Was it the crowd? Eh, the crowd was alright. People were pretty respectful all around. No one spilled their drink on me, and my sight-lines were okay. I admit, this was probably more of a balcony kind of show, but I got there too late for a good balcony spot.

Was is the material? That was certainly part of the issue. There are some very catchy and bright songs on Jonsi's album. But it took a good 30 minutes for the band to build up any momentum, and then they played most of the fast songs in a chunk. After that the energy started seeping out of the room. If the slow stuff on the album was better than it would have been more deserving of my rapt attention. Instead, I realized during the show that he suffers the same issue that Bjork has these days. Both have a number of tricks as vocalists, but the problem is that they had used them up early in their career. So I found myself going "oh, that voice again" during the ballads.

Was it the visuals? Sorta. The whole production aspect was really built up beforehand, and was supposed to justify the pricey ticket. The setup was a big screen behind the stage and two on either side perched on top of speakers. Yes, the visuals were nice, but from the descriptions before I thought i was going to see holographic birds flying all over the venue. Plus there were some songs that didn't even have video projections. Cheapskates!

Was it the drummer? Yes. Unlike the rest of the band band who looked frail enough to be knocked over by a stiff wind, the drummer was out of place. I thought it was Kenny Aronoff, session drummer extrodinaire, but nope, it was some bald icelandic dude. Wearing a crown. With tassels on the back. And getting way too into it. I should note that everyone was wearing silly costumes. But the crown was poor form, unless he was on the album of the Wild Things.

Would I go see him live again? Hard to say. My expectations next time will be much lower, but it really depends on material. Jonsi's album didn't grab me the way Sigur Ros's material did in college. But then again, I don't even listen to this stuff that much anymore. Maybe I've moved on musically.

The Band That Changed Your Life ...

...has broken up. Yes, the Shins have broken up. Wikipedia may say 1997 to present, but the internets are kidding themselves. The Shins are no more.

If it makes you feel any better, my favorite band as a young lad, have also broken up as well despite what a very tall bald rock n' roller says. But the point still stands, that indie rock band that we have all grown to know and love is no longer functioning in a manner that it can still be called The Shins. James Mercer sacked 50% of the people who were originally part of the thing called The Shins last year and if interview are to be believed, he wanted to start fresh without the band name. But managers and money and whatnot intervened and so we still have an entity that will keep playing that band's music, but with a new more "polished."

I sound a bit bitter, right? Eh, not bitter, just concerned that a band that's ostensibly indie rock will become as careerist as say, Journey. Sometimes you just need to break up your band. And make sure whatever you do afterwards is less terrible than Zwan.

Sellin' Out

There's a pretty insightful article today in the NY Times about Converse setting up a recording studio to give free recording time to up and coming artists.

This once again opens up a can or worms that's been perpetually been opened and closed since the start of recorded music -- selling out. Things have gotten more complicated in recent years; having your music in an advertisement is downright passe, especially since companies will use your music even if you don't want them to and then play it off later. There have been a number of ventures recently that go beyond just using a 30 second clip of a band's song. Converse has already sponsored a couple of collabo singles between hip artists, Nike has funded a few running albums/mix tapes and Mountain Dew have their own label.

So is all this selling out? Basically, yes. If you have the popularity or critical acclaim to be accused of selling out, and then you take money from a company then you are selling out. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Bethany Cosentino aka Best Coast writes enjoyable indie rock songs. Here music and aesthetic are not based on authenticity, so the idea of her taking some money for Converse isn't some terrible art crime. She wears Converse anyway, and likes the company, so there's not much harm in writing on a new song when they come calling. There are still pockets of authenticity, i.e. punk and rap, but even within those genres the rules of the game keep changing.

Not all artists can be Steve Albini, and not all artists should be. But artists who make a genuine effort to record, release and perform their music without an corporate interference (be it from a soft drink maker or a large conglomerate that happens to run the record label you're on) should be rewarded by their audience. A number of bands have gone directly to their fans to fund their music at sites like pledgemusic.com and I'd like to see that system expand. If I'm still willing to pay $15 for an albums, I might also pay $25 for a signed copy if it helps that album get made. Plus even if a band doesn't have a single fan yet, there's always youtube, myspace and facebook.

Up until about 10 years ago there was a specific path for a band - play gigs until you sign to a label and then record albums and tour until you break up. The mistake people made when Napster emerged was thinking that a new magical system would emerge phoenix-like from the ashes of the major labels. But there isn't a system, just an ever increasing series of choices. In the end bands should make the decisions that let them sleep at night and put food on the table during the day. Even if that means washing down the food with a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Virgin Mobile FreeFest

I went to Virgin Fest of Freeness and Mobility on Saturday and had a pretty good time.

In my many years of going to concerts, festivals have been a regular occurrence. In the beginning it was HFStivals and Tibetan Freedom Concerts and now it's Pitchfork and Virgin Fest. The situation is always less than ideal. The food is overpriced and undercooked. The bathrooms take a turn for the worse before the sun has even gone down, and getting there and back can be a hassle. But Saturday's show was relatively pain-free. Parking and escape was easy, the food was good, and it was easy enough to get from one stage to another.

Now I must note. I'm one of those people (or suckers, capitalists, realists, choose your term of preference) who paid for a VIP ticket. So my experience was perhaps a little better than others but really it mainly meant I got a free t-shirt and a better view during some of the bands earlier in the day, and for Pavement and LCD Soundsystem I was able to get a very good seat.

The bands were largely excellent. I didn't attend specifically to see Jimmy Eat World or Joan Jett, but both put on very solid sets. And Neon Indian were pretty good, although they (or he) need to work on their (or his) set flow, as the energy came and went. There were a few mysteries which remain unsolved - why do people love Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and Thievery Corporation? I'd like to think I can come at some music from a more objective sense and see why people enjoy it (for example - Jimmy Eat World are loud and enthusiastic and rather emotional and I can see the appeal) but I can't for the life of me figure out why Edward Sharpe can now sell out 930 Club in the blink of an eye. It's just tired hippie shit. Polyphonic Spree do it a hundred times better.

The heavy hitters that I saw all delivered. Chromeo are on top of their game. For a duo that relies heavily on samples they have mastered live performance. They were tight and funny and engaging and the new material sounds just as good as their first two albums. Pavement were still Pavement. Flubbing an intro here or there, but still extremely crowd pleasing. I have a complicated relationship with Pavement and chose to forgo seeing them in NYC this week, but hearing "Range Life" and "Summer Babe" were real highlights.

That leaves us with our headliner - LCD Soundsystem. I saw them tour with MIA a number of years back when both has just released their first album. Both acts were still working things out, but based on current albums alone, it was obvious I was going to see LCD rather than MIA. And I was rewarded with one of the best sets I've ever seen. Right from the beginning, when "Dance Yrself Clean" really kicked in it was obvious that they were on a level that very very few bands are on right now. Over 90 minutes the band hit a number of highs. "You Wanted A Hit" and "Drunk Girls" were excellent and old classics "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House" and "Losing My Edge" still sounded fresh. It was hard to say beforehand if they were the proper headlines, but by the end there wasn't a hint of a doubt. The entire crowd were ecstatic throughout the set.

Was it worth the VIP price? That's hard to say, and it might have been nice to just have had a free ticket. Plus there could have been more port-o-potties and a bit more information beforehand for the VIP tickets, and perhaps even something to cover the dirt and dust in front of the dance forest stage, but those are minor quibbles. Virgin Free Fest was an excellent way to spend a Saturday.

A Very Sexy Round Table

These Gentlemen are happy to announce the return of a perennial favorite feature - The Round Table! Round Tables won't necessarily be posted on the site with the regularity of our scheduled posts, as we'll be writing them as inspiration for a question strikes, but anytime we do have a Round Table to share, we'll be doing so on a Saturday. Just think of it as an added Gentlemanly bonus to spice up your weekend.

And speaking of a little spice - we'll be easing our way back into the Round Table by unearthing a question to which many of our original members responded back in the spring that got lost in the shuffle of our evolving site.

It being spring, love was in the air, and sex was on our minds. (Well... it was on my mind at least.) So in the spirit of keeping things classy in the bedroom, I posed the following question to These Gentlemen: What is your ideal sex playlist?

Find their alluring (and varied!) responses below:

Ozkirbas

"Entrance of the Gladiators" - by Julius Fučík. If that song is not immediately available, "Also sprach Zarathustra, Op. 30" - by Richard Strauss.

Matt Lindeboom

Okay, so I like to transform sex into a spectacle of light, sound, and orgasmic revelations; which is why I bought a dual light and smoke machine and placed it directly at the foot of my bed. These sexual events, as I call them, have been criticized by the Philadelphia Inquirer as "gaudy examples of how the act of making love has degenerated into the arena of baroque Enya light shows that one sees all too often after a night at the bar." The blood-red satin drapes, I believe, are what the reviewer was referring to when she said "baroque." So I've told you about the light and spectacle, how about the sound? Music must be carefully coordinated to garner a certain effect, much like the soundtrack to a movie.

1. It’s important not to come on too strongly or predictably -- both are equally devastating to any aural quality your sex event may take on. Chuck the Marvin Gay. Scuttle that Isaac Hayes and watch to make sure it sinks to the bottom of your fish tank. I suggest starting with Robin Thicke’s “Sex Therapy.” Just subtle enough to get things started.
2. After the initial mood is set, push the play button on “Your Sex is on Fire,” by Kings of Leon just to let your partner know that you appreciate his or her particular brand of sex. (N.B. I would not recommend this selection of either you or your partner have an STD.)
3. Now that roller coaster is building, you will want to sprinkle in some rap to keep a beat to. This is especially smart for you guys and gals who have a hard time finding a rhythm. I’m partial to “Alphabet” by Blackilicious. But you should do you.
4. By now the spinning lights and smoke that’s filled the room have left you completely disoriented; its time to slow it down and recompose yourself -- maybe plan your next killer move that you read about in Elle or Maxim. The sex-mix usually is playing “Oh Danny Boy,” by now. I'll just as soon not go into it.
5. Let’s skip to the climax. Once the peak of ecstasy is inevitable, let the theme to “Jurassic Park” take you over the edge. Please -- someone, anyone -- tell me how John Williams wouldn’t make sex more epic than ever thought humanly possible?
6. Finally, when you both are good and collapsed and talking about Paris in the winter, discreetly switch to the last song in the sex-mix: Queen’s “We are the Champions.” Let fly your barbaric yawp, and sink into whatever bed good, American electric rock has made for you.

Max Nova

As unlikely as it sounds, my past experiences have been music-free and I wouldn't see a change in that in the future. I think having something like Barry White playing at the time would just induce a wave of giggling.

Alex

Ask Adam- he controls the music.

Maybe The National?

Brett

HONEST RESPONSE:
To be super honest, I don't prefer to have music going. Probably just cause I'm ADD and want no distractions. And if the CD or playlist runs out suddenly it's awkward. And it's equally wierd (in my opinion at least) to either go along with, or against, the rhythm.


That said if there are people around music is good for privacy. Not only because it isolates you in a sound-pocket, but also because it sends a clear message of "we're trying to be private and discreet." In which cases I like something with a female vocalist, that's kind of dark, keeps a pretty steady beat, early-90's-ish... My Bloody Valentine, Garbage, Portishead. Which suggests I'm having some kinda like seriously goth-y sex, but what can I say, the traditional Led Zeppelin just doesn't do it.

JOKE RESPONSE THAT IS ACTUALLY AN INSIDE JOKE MAYBE TWO READERS WILL GET:

Anything in 5/4 time, not that it's kinky or anything.

David Pratt

I don't really listen to music that often when having sex. I can't honestly say I have any kind of preference one way or the other. I'm sure there is plenty of music that would take me OUT of the mood, but I 'm hard-pressed to think of any that puts me IN it.

So instead, I'll just submit this playlist of what I feel is acceptable doing it-time music.

1) "Face Down, Ass Up" by 2 Live Crew

2) "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy

3) "Hate Fuck" by Mount Sims
4) "Violent Pornography" by System of a Down
5) "Buch dich" by Rammstein6) "Put It In Your Mouth" by Akinyele
7) "Fuckin' You Tonight" by The Notorious B.I.G.
8) "Still Getting my Dick Sucked" by DJ Paul
9) "I'd Like to Fuck the Shit Out of You" by David Allen Coe
Anything by R. Kelly.

Of course, it's strictly a matter of opinion.

Stephen

Jon Stewart answers for me, between 1:20 and 2:30.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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Adam Z. Winer

Apparently I've been designated to answer this question?... so I will.. but it's going to be disappointing because I don't really have "mood" music. I think it generally needs to be something with steady tempo, but also something that can be ignored. Usually play it safe - something reliable.

Some artists I've played: Sondre Lerche, the Beatles, Broken Social Scene, the Beatles (NOT Sgt Pepper), Spoon. I'd probably play some low-key hip hop or Red Hot Chilli Peppers if I knew what was good.

B(ootylicious) Graham

In my humble opinion there is no sexier, more sensual, more romantic music genre than R&B. However, my chosen life partner is not at all interested in what that genre has to offer, so when I listen to KC and JoJo or Usher or Luther Vandross or anyone else crooning in those smooth milk chocolate hug voices about their ladies, the ambiguous romantic fuzzies I get have nothing to do with him. And since it takes two to tango, so to speak, it just doesn't seem fair not to bring him into the equation.

As a friend told me when I asked her advice on answering this question, "you have more important things to worry about than changing CDs every 40 minutes.... music is like the

garnish on the dish, it isn't the main course."

And besides, I am myself, which means that something completely ridiculous would switch on my ipod and we would just laugh.

ali d

I very rarely plan my sexual encounters, and when I do, I'm much more focused on the impending dirty deed than I am setting any kind of romantic mood. (I am, in fact, a huge fan of silly, giggly sex. Because let's face it, sex? Kind of ridiculous.)

I did, however, once have the extremely convenient pleasure of dating a gentleman who lived in a not-so-big apartment with three other guys. When we wanted to have some modicum of privacy in his room, we'd throw some music on, and my band of choice quickly became the British electronic band Zero 7 - particularly their album When It Falls, although I do also really enjoy "In the Waiting Line" off Simple Things.

It's mellow. It's sensual. And most importantly, it's understated. The music has enough of a rhythm that you don't get thrown off your game, but it's not so overpowering that you feel like you need to be keeping time. The vocals glide around the room as an accompanying accessory to the prevailing carnal act, and your attention can slide in and out of the music as it's appropriate. My personal favorite tune is "Home," so if you're looking for something new to add to the bedroom (or wherever you so choose to have a romantic interlude), I'd highly recommend starting there.

So there you have it. We hope that we have offered you some new ideas when it comes to creating your own mood the next time you want to share an intimate moment with a special someone. But remember, above all else when it comes to matters of the flesh: A true Gentleman never kisses and tells.

What's the Matter With Arcade Fire

Well, technically, nothing.

Arcade Fire are a very competent indie rock band known for having an energetic live show. I get that. And clearly there are many folks who think very highly of them, but I'm not one of them.

I don't hate Arcade Fire. Really, I don't. I admit that I've probably said that a few time to be contrarian, but honestly I just don't think they're that interesting. My sister had heard their first album Funeral before I had, and said that they were "just an indie rock band." I listened to it, since I was curious about these highly touted Canadians, and came away with the same impression. There were some good songs, there were some dull songs, and that was about it.

But their star keeps rising and each new album from them is now AN EVENT. And so I paid the cut rate price Amazon was charging last week for their new album The Suburbs. I was not surprised to discover that they're still just an indie rock band. One that's clearly trying for something bigger, certainly, but they're not particularly adept at it. Once again, there are some nice cuts and some dull cuts, but my desire to listen to this album again is pretty low.

The thing is, there are plenty of recent bands that have succeeded in matching their hype, or at least delivered successful albums. For example, Vampire Weekend have crafted two albums of really, really catchy, clever songs. The band members may be dicks, (or may not) and I have relatively little desire to see them live, but the albums are great. And there are plenty of other bands worth a mention -- Beach House, as laid back as they are, keep getting better with each album, Real Estate are excellent, Tame Impalla's album is one of the best things I've heard this year, Beach Fossils are charming, Pains of Being Pure at Heart are great, and Toro Y Moi has released a perfect summer album.

If I want to see a bunch Canadians make a good racket onstage, there's always Broken Social Scene.

Give Numero A Pulitzer

Sure it sounds odd to give a literary/journalistic (and sometimes music) prize to a record label. But the Numero Group are not just a record label, they're a full-scale archaeological enterprise, and one that also happens to release the results in the form of cds and records.

Each Numero release is filled with extensive details and biographies, old pictures in various states of decay, and sometimes tracks that didn't even make it onto an album or single, despite the hopes of the creators. The label has become best known for the Eccentric Soul series, which has focused on individual soul record labels that hovered under the radar, often even in the city where they were based. These release form an underground history of African American music and history in the '60s and '70s, with many songs that have been literally saved from the dustbin of time.

And those are just half of what they've released. The label's other work has ranged from gospel funk to country to power pop to the folk. Each release is a testament to the quality of music that has been made in America that never made a dent the first time around.

The records they've release touch on many of the Pulitzer Prizes. There's an incredible amount of research involved for these albums, with the label's three owners tracking down musicians and singers who have mostly moved on from their dreams of music and some who don't want to be found again. These works are biographies of cities, regions and musicians. The label has performed an incredible public service with their work, illuminating history and also bringing much great music back from the dead.

indie rock, etc

When people ask me what kind of music I listen to, I tend to answer "indie rock." This is a simplistic answer, but saying "eclectic" is pretty lame, even if that does sum up my listening habits. Still, indie is a decent catchall that happens to include two rock 'n' roll bands, The Hold Steady and Titus Andronicus, that in a different era may have been known as pub rock, or punk rock, or just rock.

But let's step back a bit. I do not like Bruce Springsteen. I think his lyrics are trite, his sound is calcified, and three hour sets are not really a good thing (note to Wilco: while you can play 40 songs a night, but these days less than half will be songs that I want to actually hear). Yet Bruce is for better or worse, a big influence on these bands in that Hold Steady and Titus are the modern heirs to the bar band tradition. Craig Finn and Patrick Stickles, the leaders of each band are both relatively poor singers in the traditional sense, but absolutely fabulous lead singers, which is a very different thing (i.e. Iggy Pop = history's greatest lead singer). Both men are well read and clever lyricists, which all sounds very stodgy, and yet both bands translated lyric-heavy albums into cathartic live shows that anyone can enjoy without being able to cross reference every mention of clever kids or hoodrats.

All of this is to say that these are two rock bands, who exist because of Bruce, punk rock and Pitchfork. And because of the ever shrinking window of rock that makes it on radio stations, they are "indie rock" bands. Plus, if you want to catch a great rock 'r' roll show, go see Titus Andronicus for just $8 @ St Steven's Church in Columbia Heights on Friday.

I Went to Six Concerts and All I Got Were These 7"s*

Last week I went to six concerts in seven days, and still have my hearing.

Shearwater/Wye Oak @ Rock and Roll Hotel
I have been meaning to see Wye Oak for ages and the didn't disappoint. Just a duo, the drummer Andy plays keyboards with one hand and guitarist/singer Jenn Wasser makes a fantastic racket. Shearwater, which was ostensibly the quieter side project of Okkervil River is now a rather massive (in sound and ambitious) act themselves. Each of their albums gets more epic, and they now have enough material to play masterful sets. They've gone from a band I like to a band I don't want to miss live.


Surf City/Real Estate @ Rock and Roll Hotel
Surf City are a low-key low-fi New Zealand indie rock band, but seeing as how the old guard of bands have faded away, they are a much needed commodity. They're a fine mix of a catchy and fuzzy. After them were Real Estate who are tough not to like. They were friendly and they played lovely little songs. Not the kind of band I see filling Constitution Hall in five years or anything, but they seem deserving of their acclaim. I left before headliner Woods, as their recorded work is just awful, and yet bafflingly critically acclaimed.

A Sunny Day in Glasgow @ DC9
The opener before these guys were just absolutely terrible. I don't know their name, I don't want to know their name, they just sucked. But Sunny Day (who are actually from Philly, the land of sunshine) were quite good, and although they had a cleaner sound then their shoegazy records, the songs held up well. Plus in two days I saw Sunny Day In Glasgow and Real Estate which is kind of like seeing Sunny Day Real Estate.

Japandroids/Love is All/Tennis Systems @ Rock and Roll Hotel
Japandroids are about as loud as two human beings playing instruments can be (Lightning Bolt are probably louder), and their songs are huge. Go see them before they fill arenas. Love is All are quirky post-punk and were great. And Tennis System(s?) are an excellent DC band who have impressed me on both occasions I've seen them.


Matthew Good Band @ Iota
I attended this at the invitation of Jason and I'm glad I did. You can't beat good between song banter and Good is a master of it. Perhaps a future on the Henry Rollins speaking circuit beckons. But there were many songs too, whose names I don't know but that Jason does. Minus points though for the opener, whose lead singer looked like Ke$ha and sounded like death.

A Place to Bury Strangers/The Big Pink @ Rams Head Live
I've already spoken of the general awesomeness of A Place to Bury Strangers. I'm not sure why they were the opener, but whenever and wherever they play they are a force to be reckoned with. Anyone coming just to see The Big Pink would have been duly impressed. And the headliners themselves came with attitude to spare, and in the case of the drummer a lack of over-garments. Right now they have one album and about five huge concert-worthy anthems. Which was fine given that I paid mainly to see APTBS, but I think by album three (assuming the music industry lasts that long) The Big Pink will be a monster band who can fill the whole Rams Head, nut just the lower floor.


* The two 7"s were by A Place to Bury Strangers

Two Thoughts on the Radio

1.

Dear 94.7 Fresh FM,

I love your station. I really, really do. Any time I get to pick the music at work (which is rare), it's the first thing I turn on. I can sing along to your tunes all day long and never get tired of it. And that's why I hope you won't take it personally when I tell you this:

It's time to give up the ghost, because no one is buying it.

The first time I ever heard your tagline (Today's Fresh Music), it was immediately after you had finished playing "Kiss From a Rose." Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like the Seal hit. In fact, I think it's a total jam. But it was released with the Batman Forever soundtrack. That was three movies and two Batmans ago. Today's Fresh Music it is not.

It's about as fresh as my middle-school crush on Val Kilmer.

And though your loyal supporters see through the charade, but love you anyway, you're actually losing listeners by claiming to be something you're not. I've talked to more than one friend who judges you for asserting that you play "fresh" music, and then following it up with TLC's "Waterfalls." It makes them not want to listen to your station.

It's time to face the facts and own up to what you really are: a Mix station. You play the greatest hits of the 90s (remember Sophie B. Hawkins' "As I Lay Me Down"? Yeah, you play that.), the 2000s, and today. And I love you for that. So please, don't be ashamed.

Make me proud, and just tell the truth.

2.

You're never ready for it to happen to you.

A line in the mildly amusing Bowling for Soup song "1985," about a mother who is stuck thinking all things 80s are still cool, wonders, "When did Motley Crue become classic rock?" The other day I knew exactly how that poor woman felt.

There I was, hard at work painting the set for Dancing Princesses, minding my own business. 105.9 The Edge played over the speakers of the shop, extolling its virtues as D.C.'s newest Classic Rock station. And then it happened. They played "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots.

And it didn't stop there. Metallica. Soundgarden. Nirvana. Staind. Foo Fighters. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lenny Kravitz? When did Lenny Kravitz become classic rock?!

And suddenly, I was old.

And dammit, I just wasn't ready for it.

A Little Musical-Economical Thought Experiment

For my own curiosity and amusement, I've been pondering a question lately - can a band really make money as a relatively successful independent label band and I've come up with a very rough back of the envelope calculation. For the sake of simplicity I've taken cd sales out of the equation (ie, lets say the band breaks even with these sales covering their recording costs, legal, publishing and some promotions) and so the money would all come from touring.

So here's the scenario - you have a well-reviewed, well-followed band that can sell out mid to large clubs in most cities in America but probably won't be playing in arenas regularly (ie Grizzly Bear, The National, Vampire Weekend, although the latter two have already moved up to Constitution Hall as a local stop). This band would play 1000ish people venues and charge $25 a person. The tour would be 50 shows in 60 days.

The starting revenue is $25,000 a night, then. Ticketmaster gets their money from the tacked on ticket fees and none from the stated price. Add to the ticket money some merchandise sales - let's say the band sells 150 pieces of merch and gets an extra $1000 profit out of this. Also in consideration is the venue's alcohol sales. Let's say they sell an average of a drink every two people and clear $3 profit a drink so that's $1500 for the venue. Put it all together and you get $27,500 made at that venue that night.

And this is where I really start guessing, but with somewhat reasonable estimates. Now let's take out $6,500 as the venue's cut to cover staffing, rent, advertising. This then leaves the band and their crew. The band is a four-piece and the crew I would guess is six people - lighting, sound, two roadies, driver and tour manager. You could easily cut that down to four but it seems a good number. Of the $21,000 remaining, let's say you pay out $4,500 out to this crew and allocate $1,500 for random expenses - bus rental, gas, equipment repair . This leaves a nice sum of $15,000 per band member. Split it in four and that's a $3,750 a band member a night, times 50 nights and adds up to $187k for two months of touring.

So am I crazy? Are these numbers totally out of whack? I'm not really sure, but unless there are some totally unexpected costs, this seems to be possible to achieve. It gives me hope in a world where album sales are becoming a thing of the past that a band with a following can make a living.

A Few Things Recently Observed

As the world has melted, and then flooded last weekend, I've gotten out again more in the last month or so. Here are a few things I've partaken in:

Andy Warhol - Good for the Jews? by Josh Kornbluth @ Theater J - Thanks to Jason I got a free ticket to see this. Certainly on paper it sounded good - neurotic Jew discusses his mixed-feelings about a series of portraits of prominent Jews. But Kornbluth, while getting in some good zingers and some fine observations doesn't have the chutzpah to pull a great show from just this base of observation. As he explains his reason for taking the commission - he wanted to buy a house so his son could have a dog - you can feel a bit of the air escaping the auditorium.

Turner to Cézanne: Masterpieces from the Davies Collection, National Museum Wales @ The Corcoran - This is not a bad show. Let me emphasize that. But in a town where it's tough to get folks into free museums, it's a touch sell for $10, and feels more like a stop gap. You'll see a number of nice works from folks you've heard of, but after heavy hitters like their Modernism exhibit, this is not a must see.

Georgia O'Keeffe: Abstraction @ The Phillips - Now this is more of a big deal. When I went on the opening weekend there was literally a line out the door to get tickets, and for good reason. These are great, bright colorful works. O'Keeffe's work didn't quite hold it's own in the joint show with Ansel Adams at the SAAM last year. But on it's own these piece testify to her greatness.

Sandre Lerche @ Rock and Roll Hotel - I didn't quite know what I would get with Lerche, besides the fact that I'd be in the company of two fellow Gentlemen, which is always a pleasure. His last album Heartbeat Radio wasn't bad, but it just didn't have the bite of Phantom Punch, the disc that really sold me on his work. So the bar was pretty low, and he leaped over it. Lerche solo is better than many a full band, and many of the songs worked as well, if not better in the stripped down context.

Yacht @ Rock and Roll Hotel - Yacht was once one man, then a man and woman, and then five people, and then four people (one of the five people got a triple whammy of spinal meningitis, mono and strep throat at the same time and had to miss the tour). But the important thing is, Yacht are a good time. Originally an odd little techno act, they're now closer to the sing/shout along jams LCD Soundsystem, which makes sense as they have recent joined DFA, James Murphy of LCD's label. Basically, there was singing, there was dancing, there was talk of the afterlife, there were tuxedos, and a great time was had by all.

Fourtet - There is Love in You - This is technically Fourtet aka Kieran Hebden's first album in five years, but in that time he's record four challenging improvised albums with Steve Reid, an album with his own band Fridge and a few compilations. So although hasn't gone anyway, this new album is still a complete breath of fresh air. Fourtet has often been on the more avant side of the electronic music, But on There is Love in You the melodies are huge, epic, Boards of Canada sized. He may go back to the weird side after this, but for now, this is the soundtrack to the springtime.

Who Is Andrew WK?

In the beginning it was pretty simple. There was this guy, Andrew Wilkes-Krier and he partied hard. He sang loud, ridiculous songs, performed amazing, concerts and all was well.

Then things started getting weird. His third album was only released in Asian markets. He stopped touring with a band. The third album finally was released in the US but only on Vinyl. Then he released an album of improvised piano music from a record label based in the UK. Plus during this whole time the "identity" of AWK became more of a mystery.

You can read up on some of the drama on his wikipedia, or start on this Gawker article. There's a lot of tinfoil hat stuff, but in a nutshell, some people think the person currently appearing as Andrew WK is not the same person, and there is some reason to believe this. There's someone called Steev Mike, whose identity is still a mystery, and then there's a whole lot of legal stuff behind the scenes that adds another layer of confion.

The basic point is, no matter what statements or comments are made by Mr. WK, there seems to be something funny going on behind the scenes. Is it all sinister? Probably not. Most of the subterfuge is probably the result of legal agreements, but the more statements that come out, the more confusing things seem to get.

How do I feel about the whole thing? In all honesty, I don't really care if someone else secretly wrote and performed the music on the first (and maybe second and maybe third) album(s). Andrew WK is a positive force and the person who by all accounts from fans is a really decent guy. He has gone out of his way to be kind to his fanbase and he seems genuinely enthused about damn near everything. To my mind, this is a bit (just a little bit) like the Tiger Woods situation. One more music comes out (or once Tiger starts playing golf) the weird sideshow of identity will go back to being a small distraction. I'm amused by AWK the public speaker and TV personality, but all that I really want is to be in a club full of fans shouting out the lyrics to "Party Til You Puke." And I think I'm not alone on that.