Monday, April 20, 2009

You Are My Daughter - Pt. 1

At our last meeting, Oz brought up something a little bit intimidating, although not totally unexpected - that during a recent job interview at a law firm, midway through the conversation they brought up "oh, by the way, we read your blog."

Well that's worth thinking about.

They happened to like the blog (why wouldn't they?), and they ended up making fun of John for being a Whedonite (a devoted follower of all things Joss Whedon). And given that our blog is full of intelligent and witty people writing mini-essays on a variety of contemporary subjects with the specific intention of being 'gentlemanly,' I suppose there's not much for us to be worried about. We stand by our words, we stand by our quality, and we stand by each other. It does, however, go to show the stakes of putting your name to your words in public - we potentially have a lot to lose.

I started thinking about that a lot, as I think it's fair to say that in my 'slice of life' stories I've exposed a great deal more about myself and my personal life than most of the other gents. Not to say that's either good or bad, or to say they haven't at all, but if it hasn't been about a comic book then chances are my posts are some kind of story or analysis about a specific area of my life - from the ranch, to my family, relationships, fears - I'm putting an awful lot out there, and sometimes that's easy to forget.
And to forget the consequences.

It's actually why you'll almost never read anything from me about Theater, and especially the DC Scene. Though certainly my foremost love and passion (that's right, the funnybooks are in fact second), that's also my career. My colleagues, my friends, my working environment, and I don't feel comfortable analyzing much of that here, especially in case it might come back to bite me in the ass when I'm lining up a gig.

But analyzing and presenting myself? I seem to do that all the time. And I wonder exactly how I'm presenting myself. If you just read this blog, how do I seem to you? What impression do you get? What do I give off to a potential employer, or admissions dean, or future lover who can easily find this site by a simple google search? Do I look smart and sensitive and come across as a creative and witty genius with words as my most advanced arsenal? Or am I just shooting myself in the foot? How does the me in person compare to the me on your screen? Sometimes I actually feel much more like 'myself' here than when I'm awkwardly hovering about not knowing what to do. (I wasn't aware that I 'hover' until this week but on thinking about it, it's not untrue - another in the list of habits and characeristics to undo about myself).

There's certainly no way to hide at this point. We've all exposed ourselves by doing this, and someone like me and John even more than others (there are NO other Jason Schlafsteins or John Ozkirbases out there - so as opposed to weeding through the multitudes of results for a 'John Smith' or even apparently a David Pratt, we're pretty damn easy to find).

All of which reminded me of the first time I became aware that writing for the internet really is writing for the public. The first time someone read my stuff that probably, really never should have.
Because you always remember your first time.

To Be Continued...

1 comment:

Max Nova said...

Funny thing, when I interviewed for an internship at a well regarded financial institution in Baltimore years ago, they brought up the Maryland Cow Nipple and one of the folks had actually read some of it and liked it.