Nancy Pelosi: For Serious?

Our friend and guest Gentleman Matt Lindeboom received some "super under" confidential memo exchange files from a friend of a friend deep inside CIA operations. For our assistance, Matt was able to decipher some of the abbreviations that the CIA uses and put them in (parentheses) for us. Here is some of what he was able to relay:

================

Washington D.C., May 2009

Headline: Nancy Pelosi accuses CIA of lying to her about torture techniques.

CIA, D.C. Office:

MEMO 1

From: CMM (CIA Middle Management)

ATTN: AC-CBHIT (Agent in Charge of Congressional Briefings on Harsh Interrogation/Torture)

Subject: Did we lie?

Well did we? CUMM (CIA Upper Middle Management) is crawling up my ass for answers! I don’t remember telling you to lie! Did you take the FCC (For Congressional Consumption) file or the FPC (For Public Consumption) file with you to the briefing? If we fed her the FPC garbage we’re in for a shit storm.

IRR (Immediate Response Requested)

....

MEMO 2

From: AC-CBHIT

ATTN: CMM

Subject: Negative Response

We took the FCC file as per your orders in regard to CROFI (Congressional Request Order For Information) 10911. Besides, at that time the FPC file had already been allocated for a strategic leak by AC-DUBS-B (Agent in Charge of Whistle Blowing) Wilson. However, I cannot speak with total certainty as to the accuracy of the FCC file. That file was prepared by OPIS (Office of Patriotic Information Services).

Will relay your memo to OPIS and ascertain the accuracy of the FCC file.

....

MEMO 3

From: AC-CBHIT

ATTN: OPIS

Subject: WTF? (Will Testify for File?)

CMM is questioning the accuracy of the FCC file Harsh Interrogation/Torture. Was information provided fully accurate and up-to-date to the best of your knowledge?

IRR

......

MEMO 4

From: OPIS

ATTN: AC-CBHIT

Subject: FU (File Up-to-Date)

At OPIS, it’s out patriotic mission to give you the best and most accurate intelligence available through the OFVP (Office of the Former Vice President.)

In regards to your request for service, “WTF?”: We do not recollect. But you can trust us.

......

MEMO 5

From: AC-CBHIT

ATTN: CMM

Subject: I don’t think we can trust them.

OPIS responded with an FU to my WTF request. They may have held back information. How should I proceed?

....

MEMO 6

From: CMM

ATTN: AC-CBHIT

Subject: :(

You better lie low, amigo. Find a bungalow somewhere in Thailand and sip mimosas until this whole thing blows over. If you stay they will make you into the CIA’s Lynndie England. I have to relay this upstairs, but eight levels of memos lie between me and the top, so you’ll have at least a three day head start.

GWG (Go with God) my friend.

.....

Memo 15

From: Leon Panetta (CIA Director)

ATTN: Nancy Pelosi

Subject: My B. (Self-explanatory)

We all got played on this one. It won’t happen again.

....

Memo 16

From: Nancy Pelosi

ATTN: Leon Panetta

Subject: For serious?

Of all the Hail Marys...