Andre the Giant v. The Incredible Hulk

Last summer I visited the Jeff Koons show at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago and just last weekend I had a chance to check out the Shepard Fairley show at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston. Thus I once again fulfilled my yearly contemporary quota.

Both artists are pretty far out on the confrontational side of art but in very different ways. Koons covers the unexpected range between metal sculptures painted to look exactly like blow-up dolls (including the Incredible Hulk), graphic photos of him having sex with his Italian adult film star ex-wife and basketballs suspended in liquid. Fairley is most famous for the Obey stickers/graffiti/branding (which is based on an image of Andre the Giant) and numerous portraits of rebels, communists, rock stars and most famously Obama.

Both seem unafraid to challenge the art world, Fairley's raison d'etre for the Obey campaign is to create an empty image upon which people can project. Koons, who is at best a huge mystery, does not provide a lot of context for his painted metal lobsters, exaggerated-size metal objects or semi-photo-realistic paintings. And yet, at his highest points, Koons is the greater artist, his expanded metal version of objects - balloon dogs, hearts, cracked eggs are breathtaking. But much of his work does feel like a joke in search of a punchline, kitch, crap, terrible paintings tacky sculptures. And yes that's the idea, but that doesn't absolve him. He's had the art world by the balls for a while and knows it.

Fairley is clearly the more competent artist purely in the traditional sense, he cranks out images and ideas at an amazing rate, and to judge him purely based on the success of Obey would be unfair. He has a lot of great ideas, but within this great quantity, a lot of his work is ham-fisted. When someone like Banksy completes a graffiti piece you know he's saying something but he's also taking the piss (he's sort of the visual equivalent of the band Mclusky). But Fairley can be so very serious, even if it's not exactly clear what he's being serious about. In the exhibit you see pictures of Joe Strummer and Nixon and Stalin and kids with guns and guns with flowers in them. And schools are good and war is bad, and bombs kill people, yes yes, alright.

At times he feels a bit like the visual Rage Against the Machine, yes we all hate the system sometimes, but must we be so on the nose about it?

Still his technique and style are often fantastic. The frequent use of an under-texture for his prints, be it a textile, piece of newspaper, or a painted image underneath, brings the viewer closer to the canvas and gets them to interact with the art the way cheap slogans often don't. I can read the slogans from across the room, but for good art I want to get up close and see what's really going on.

Perhaps in the end the real question is, who has their finger right on the pulse of popular culture right now:

Fairley ...

... or Koons?

A Long-Awaited Answer

Months ago, we at the Roundtable were asked if we were to change the ending of any movie, any movie in the world, what would it be and why. And I agonized over this one. I thought and thought and racked my little movie-going brain until it was sore, but I could not think of one. Of the hundreds of movies I've seen in my lifetime, I could not think of a single film for which I would actually make the effort to change the ending.

So the Roundtable came and went unanswered, but the question stayed with me. If I could change the ending of ANY ONE movie, what would it be? And I had all but forgotten about my agonizing quest for the answer until today, just now, as I was walking out the door. I know EXACTLY which movie I would change.

One of the single most horrifying moments in my life was the first time I watched Pretty in Pink the whole way through, in which Molly Ringwald takes that beautiful vintage dress her friend gives her and cuts it up to make the ugliest 80s prom dress imaginable. It has no shape, it has no form or movement; it basically looks like she fell into a shiny pink sack.

I would change that to never happen. I would redesign the dress to still be 80s ugly-appropriate, but in a good way. Not a heart-stopping, horrifying sack of pink way. Not in a way that would make the future B.Graham never want to watch the movie again because the ending is sad to the point at which only movies like Selena and The Fox and the Hound should be.

Run, dress! Run while you still can!! She's not even happy about it.

Eric Whitacre's Virtual Choir - "Sleep"

Perhaps my favorite contemporary composer for chorus and wind ensemble, Eric Whitacre has finally finished the world's first virtual choir. Arranged without audition, Whitacre called on his blog for all interested singers to post a video of themselves on YouTube performing "Sleep" from his album Cloudburst - a collection of original choral works arranged and composed by himself, directed by Stephen Layton, and performed by Polyphony. Whitacre collected the various videos, organized them according to voice part, and compiled them into the video seen below. It's a little dirty when it comes to articulation and release, but the result still has a surprising level of quality:

(Waldo is hidden somewhere in this video. Can you find him?)

Amazing in concept and execution. Creating a virtual choir holds a lot of implications about where the music industry could potentially go - especially with classical composition. Eric Whitacre's blog is called Soaring Leap. Give it a click and look around. He has a lot to keep you interested and the first article will have the names and locations of the people involved in the video above posted in the comments section through out the day.

Eric Whitacre primarily composes choral and wind ensemble pieces - my favorite being "October" posted below:

(Performed by Arizona State University Wind Ensemble)

Additionally, in 2007 Whitacre, with lyricist David Noroña, wrote and composed for his own creation, Paradise Lost: Shadows and Wings. An "Opera Electronica," Paradise Lost combined classical composition with ambient rock, electronic music, and opera. It had a very limited release, but the reviews were mostly positive. Check out the intro below:

I'm still kicking myself for not being able to catch it.

Fun Freakin' Friday

It's Friday. Lunch Time. You're caught in one of three situations:
1) You're at work. You're Bored.
2) It's your day off. You're Bored
3) You're unemployed. And, at this point, you don't know what boredom feels like any more because you've been bathing in it to the point where, very much like lukewarm bathwater, you don't know where you end and it begins. And it's made you pruny.

And, hey, that's ok. We at These Gentlemen want to thank you, Gentle Readers, for investing your time and energy in us. Because we care about your amusement. We are here to entertain you, after all. Which is why we've uploaded this Public Service Announcement on bear attacks . Because you never know when one could happen, Gentle Readers. And, we at These Gentlemen care about your safety. These Gentlemen - Art. Poltics. Life.

It's Glorious!

It's been 28 days. 28 long days of looking for it at friends' houses, at my parents', on the streets. It's made me late for work. Hell, I'm using at work. Sneaking it when we're not busy.

But they have to understand, right? Right? I mean, I need it. I can't function without it. I mean, I can get it other places, but there's never enough time. 

And whose idea was it to cut me off in the first place dammit? Huh? How did you think this would go? Did you think I'd be grateful? That I'd focus on the more important things in life? Well think. again.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. A three hour window that turns into four but it's OK because he found us - he's here. It's really happening. Well hello, Mr. Comcast Technician. Installation fee? Bring it on. Five dollar surcharge per month to rent a router? Worth it. Hook me up, baby. Give me what I need. Give me that sweet, sweet Internet.

8557 kbps.

Wireless access.

Oh yeah.

I'm back.

Hey Women! the Future is NOW!

The following message is brought to you by the women of NOW:

Women have always been the more important gender. It's one of the reasons society makes a special effort to keep women out of harm's way. It's why in war time we put men on the front lines, not women. Biologically speaking, women have more value. This is because they are the child-bearers, and therefore more important to human survival. In short, the egg is more valuable than the sperm.

So besides learning that Sarah Palin will no longer torture the lives of those poor Alaskan citizens, for now, this is by far the best news we've heard in a long time:

Scientists in the UK may have just learned to create sperm from stem cells.

If you read the article, it's evident we're a few years away from using this experiment to affect our every day lives. However, this article must have been written by an aging man, because clearly the only thing they could think to do with this kind of discovery would be to eliminate erectile dysfunction, when clearly that's just a natural process. No, the real fruition of this discovery is when we can eliminate men altogether!

That's right, women! If we can create our own sperm, then there will no longer be a need for men! No longer will we have pointless wars! No longer will they dirty the house! No longer will they cheat on us! I can see a utopia ahead! I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! Humankind may yet have a chance!

So please, go onto our website and petition, so we can raise more funds for this good cause.

This article was written by Hillary Clinton, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, Cynthia Rodriguez, Elizabeth Edwards, Dina Matos McGreevey, and others of NOW - "The National Organization for Women."

Midday Pick-Me-Up

A little Thursday lunchtime treat;

Ten Things That Are Hilarious No Matter What:

- Chuck Norris jokes

- dirty euphemisms

- embarrassed or angry cats

- Mrs. Featherbottom

- the cabbage patch dance

- laugh snorters

- spit takes

- puns

- people tripping, falling, running into walls*

- people tripping, falling, running into walls naked**

* this is actually only funny if they make that huge "I'm falling!" face and either fall in total silence or with a shrill "Oooh!"

** this is actually the funniest thing that could ever happen