Gentlemen in Residence

We can talk about a lot of things here at These Gentlemen.

Throughout it's nearly two-year existence, we have brought you discussions from topics ranging from Facebook to Friday Night Lights, with seriousness from sex to Sesame Street. The crew here is a good one - we can claim host to conservatives and liberals, the religious and the atheist, living people and ghosts.

Ghost.

However, it was exactly because of this wide-ranging sphere of discussion that once upon a time, Jason Heat proposed to us all the idea of the Gentlemen in Residence program. Our discourse covers such a wide area that we are seldom apt to stop and stay with a single area of discussion. In short, we are qualified to talk about our lives, and our tendencies are to change our subject of writing with the same frequency as new things in our lives catch our interest. Don't get me wrong, we've had some awesome discussions here, but we've never taken the time out to really hone in on a single area of concern and write at length regarding it. That is where Jason foresaw the need for Gentlemen in Residence.

What we plan to do with this oft-discussed, now finally implemented system, is invite one new author to join our ranks each month. For the course of that month, you will be treated to a new post, appearing on Sundays, regarding the topic on which our new resident is far more qualified to discuss than we are. What will these topics be? We're going to let you be surprised. I think you'll like what we've come up with. Or rather, what we didn't come up with, and rather than go out and learn about it, just brought in someone new to talk about it for us. Whatever, same thing.

So while you can rest assured you will still be able to count on us for your daily dose of Art, Politics, and Life, now you'll also enjoy going in-depth in those areas with our guests once a week. I hope you're as excited about this new addition as we are. I think we're all going to learn something, and have some pretty cool discussions on the way. Also, if you think you've got what it takes to be a Gentlemen in Residence, let us know about it. We'd love to see what area of expertise you could bring to the blog.

As always, we are but Gentlemen.

The Real Ghosts of Youtube

We love ghosts. Be they Casper or Bruce Willis, poltergeists illuminate our basest fears (the unexplainable) and our deepest hopes (Hey! There is stuff to do after we die!). Full disclosure: I don’t believe in the existence of ghosts. However! I cannot in good conscience outright declare that ghosts do not exist. Like God, the concept of paranormal spirits is nigh impossible to prove or disprove, and that is what puts ghosts firmly in the condiments’ section labeled under, Awesome-Sauce. While I look on shows like “Ghost Hunters” and “Monster Quest” with a healthy sense of intellectual superiority, I’m still entertained because I could be wrong.

To get Horror Month started I dutifully waded through the video swamp of Youtube, searching for the juiciest “Real Ghost Sightings.” Like all things Youtube, the results were equal parts tongue-in-cheek, lame as the plastic on your grandma’s couch, creepy-ish but still lame on second viewing, and then down-right creepy. Here are a few samples from each.

We’ll start with the Lame to get it out of the way (PS. There are no scary pop up videos in this list, because they are lazy.) :

These first two are in the vain of “The Blair Witch Project”: shakey hand held camera, grainy night vision, and exclamations of “Holy shit dude!” and “What what was that?!” before something pops out of a doorway.





I suppose I consider them lame because there’s little pay off your investment. I’m left wondering “Why was that guy in a dark hallway?” rather than “Was that real?”

The third well...is a “ghost” peeing in a toilet.



It’s clearly meant as a parody. But it’s a peeing ghost. Lame no matter how you slice it.

In that spirit, let’s move on to tongue and cheek.

From the same people who brought you Urinating Ghost:



and because the just ONE of those isn’t enough:



The third is a good example of a “Youtube Parody.” It takes several elements of youtube ghost-sighting videos -- text or voice over explaining the circumstances of the sighting, the frequency of the sightings, and reasons why this sighting cannot be explained by conventional science or common sense -- and exaggerates them for comedic effect.



Creepy-ish

These two are not the creepiest out there, but I felt they deserved a chance to strut their stuff. On second viewing (or even first) their premises tend to fall apart.



This one is longer, so skip to 1:14 to get past the filler. Watch from there and read the subtitle’s carefully, unless you understand Russian (maybe Russian? I’m not sure).


Now we can get to the truly creepy stuff. Caveat: These videos caused me willful suspension of disbelief, I’m not guaranteeing they will you.

The first two carry all the classic elements. Here’s the video owners boastful description:
“I capture What may be the scariest video on the internet. It has been 5 months since The last sighting of the ghost in my pantry. I filmed the door myself at 12:34 every night for 4 months..”

It’s success may be in its simplicity:



and one more for thoroughness:



I like this last one the best. It’s obviously a digital job, but its a fantastic mesh of convincingly amateur camera work (for realism) and chilling digital effects. Turn your lights off, your sound up, and enjoy...