Breaking: Jedi President Puts Shame in Empire's Game

Barack "Bad Mother Fucker" Obama is at it again. This time he's taking his limited edition Mace Windu purple light saber to the Empire's budgetary shenanigans. Watch how he says what everyone's (read: learned people) been thinking and then almost imperceptibly changes his tone to lay down some serious intimidation towards the Empire as they undoubtedly scramble for a strategy.

Oh yes, the Force is strong with this one.



(in case you prefer text)

Rebuilding the Republic One Star Wars Metaphor at a Time

OMG WE ELECTED A JEDI PRESIDENT!

I know I'm not the first to say it on the intarwebz, but it kicked me in the blast shield last week when I came across a post on Politico.com informing me that George Lucas has bestowed upon Barrack Obama the distinction of being able to "take" Luke Skywalker in a fight! Now Lucas has been pushin' the Obama = Jedi concept since sometime during the campaign, but this was the first time I've heard of him ranking Obama's ass-kicking abilities directly against my childhood heroes. Methinks someone is kissing some serious Obam-ass.

Upon reading this nugget of nerdy nostalgia, I immediately asked myself how I should interpret the audacious allusion. Patently ridiculous? (they're both Jedi so they wouldn't be throwin' down, CHELLOOO?!) Or potentially awesome? Are we comparing our President to young, untrained, impetuous Luke from Hope, or badass, black-cloak wearing, Jedi-Mind-Tricking-his-way-into-Jabba's-den-and-fucking-shit-up Luke from Jedi?" Then I thought "Is this what I really do with my brain's spare processing capacity?" Then I thought "Did I just refer to my mental wanderings as 'what I do with my brain's spare processing capacity?'" Having answered the second two questions with a bemused "apparently," I was back to my previous train of thought.

Now I know I'm about twelve parsecs behind on the whole Star Wars-to-real-life metaphor meme, but I feel compelled to jump in anyway. Why? Because with few exceptions all I see out there are shallow character references and decent audio/visual editing. I did find one serious attempt at political analysis in Andrew Sarris' piece found in the New York Observer, but it's WAY off base.

In the piece, Mr. Sarris reviews Episode III: Revenge of the Sith looking for jabs at the Bush Administration. While I generally agree with his findings on the matter, it doesn't exactly take a genius to apply the quote "This is how liberty dies-to thunderous applause" to G Dub's re-election less than six months after the second inauguration. Frankly, I think this analysis sucks (classy, I know). The reason why I think it sucks is that Mr. Sarris openly admits ALWAYS hating the films, so why should I a) be surprised or b) care when he then proceeds to oversimplify the rich cultural diversity and complex societal interactions that take place in the Star Wars universe? But I digress, Mr. Sarris is clearly in the film industry, not politics. So I'll give him a pass... this time.

What I wanna know is, where are all my wonky Star Wars geeks at?! The world can't afford to wait for you, there is too much metaphorical extrapolation 99% of the planet cannot possibly understand without a deep connection to The Force! So until you all climb out of your personal Sarlacc Pits, I'm just gonna have to try to (no try, only do!) this concept some justice.

(Don't tell anybody but I think I'm promising a continuing series here.)

For this introductory post, allow me to set the scene:

Emporor Palpatine and his powerful puppet Darth Vapid have been removed from power. The empire is in disarray and on the brink of dissolution. But fear not, there is A NEW HOPE! A promising young Jedi has been democratically elected to bring peace, prosperity, and order to the chaos! However, politics is a dangerous game. One rife with scum and villainy. One the Jedi have been wise to avoid whenever possible. Can our young Jedi leader navigate the rampant greed and incessant scheming of the Galactic Senate without succumbing to the Dark Side? Can we even say with all certainty he has done so thus far?

What lies ahead as we reach a point in history most of you probably thought would be far, far away?

To Be Continued...

P.S. I wanted to end this introductory installment with a video I found on YouTube. I think it does a great job of illustrating the struggle Obama went through to win the Democratic Nomination. I especially appreciate the allusion to the Clinton's as Sith, not because I think they are evil per se, but because it's obvious that they are loyal to the Empire. That and Hillary DOES scare the shit out of me.