If I Hear That Phrase One More Time...

It happened again. That phrase! It's always that phrase. It irks me every time. It really does bother me.

And here, I'm going to dissect it

But first, the most recent example:
"Are you Jewish?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well are you?"
"What's it about"
"No nothing. You just look Jewish?"
"So?"
"I don't mean anything by it. I mean, I guess you could be Italian. [I've heard Italian, Greek, 'Middle Eastern,' Turkish (yes, John, Turkish), Argentinian, Egyptian, and others. I'm none of these. Does that matter?]"
"Yeah, I've gotten that before"
"But you're Jewish right? You just seem like a nice Jewish boy."

Something about the whole phrase "nice Jewish boy" really bugs me. Maybe it's because someone is telling me to my face that they are judging me based on my looks.

It's an identity thing too. I don't walk around thinking of myself as a Jew. I'm just me, with my personality, and my interests and my friends. Yes, knowing I'm Jewish will tell you something about my background and my cultural upbringing, but it certainly doesn't define me. Judaism is different than many religions because unlike Christianity for instance, I believe that even if you don't practice the religion, you are still Jewish - it's a cultural/ethnic thing, and I understand that. But that really won't tell you who I am, I hope.

And I'm sorry, yeah I guess it's a relatively good stereotype to carry so maybe I shouldn't complain (ha) but what the hell is a "nice jewish boy" anyway? What about being a young Jewish male makes me nice? I don't get it.

On the other hand, I can't really argue the label.
Am I nice? Usually.
Am I Jewish? Unavoidably.
Am I male? Can't argue with that one. Just look: CLICK HERE. (no? don't want to click? Are you sure?? I wouldn't show something naughty would I? would I? click it. CLICK IT. CLICK IT!)

So what's the problem? I think my gripe comes from the fact that I don't want to be liked, or not liked for that matter, based on my religion. I certainly don't want to be judged negatively by being Jewish, and so that goes both ways.

It's been suggested I'm a self-hating Jew, and I rarely deny it. I think that's irrelevant though. Of course, maybe I'll learn the hard way that I'm not that likable in the first place, and I should rely on that -- that phrase. I hope not.