To the Gentleman With Whom I Rode Home From Work Yesterday:

I was just hoping you might consider that perhaps a crowded metro car is not quite the forum to pontificate your opinions on the uselessness of an English degree. While you may be positive that the person who convinced "all those kids" to major in English should be arrested, you might just be sitting behind a young woman who is very proud of her Bachelor's in English. A young woman who purposely chose to study both the English language and English literature, and is quite happy with her decision.

Now, your opinion is valid and you are more than welcome to hold it. I just hope that you realize that by loudly proclaiming it to your friend while among a group of strangers, you are taking the chance that you are going to offend someone. In fact, you offended me. By lambasting my path of study, you are not only making it known that you hold a differing opinion from mine, but you are insulting me directly for choosing it. And that, sir, is rude.

You seem to think that being an English major automatically means that our only job options involve an apron and a cash register. Sadly for the understaffed Starbucks of the world, English majors have the potential to go on to become teachers, lawyers, journalists, astronauts, CEOs, the Head of the Environmental Protection Agency, and oh yeah, Nobel prize winners in medicine.

And yes, sometimes we do wait tables to make ends meet while trying to kick-start our careers. But then again, we're in a recession, so there are plenty of business and engineering majors right there next to us.

So maybe next time you'll wait until you're in the comfort of your own home to be presumptuous, yes? I, for one, would appreciate it.

You know you're from the District if...

by Adam and Jason

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM DC IF...

- You know the threat of rain will add an hour to your commute. Snow? the city will shut down.
- You go to a sports bar to watch a presidential debate.
- You don't think calling a football team "the Redskins" is racist. What? It's honoring their tradition!
- You've never rooted for a winning baseball team.
- You know the two people who eat for free at Ben's Chilli Bowl*
- You get angry at having to pay for a museum.
- You're invited to Wonderland but don't expect drugs.
- You know why there's one yellow seat per metro car.
- You've finished your WaPo Express sudoku on the escalator ride up L'Enfant Plaza.
- You know not to expect Chinese people in Chinatown.
- You've seen Ian MacKaye at the local Whole Foods.
- You're "sXe 4 Life." or until you turn 21.
- You're 32 and still going to the Positive Youth Fest.
- You're used to your cafes being attached to bookstores, or your bookstores being attached to cafes. Actually you're not sure which it is.
- You've been hit on while hanging out in the Fruit Loop.
- When you were little, you thought the Mormon Temple was Disney Land. You're still convinced.
- You know you're likely to see an 18-yr-old and a senator having a beer together at the Hawk and Dove.
- You're not shocked by the 9:30 Club bouncer with the massive 42" gauge pierced ear studs
- You've seen the monuments at sunrise. After all, you know better than to go during the daytime.
- You're taxed without representation. GODDAMMIT!

* Bill Cosby and Barack Obama.