Tuesday, August 18, 2009

15 Marion Barry facts

The man, the myth, the unstoppable Marion Barry.

Legend has it that Marion Barry grew up picking cotton in Tennessee. This is not true. For Marion Barry, the cotton would pick itself.

Marion Barry did have nine lives. Then, when he ran out, he got nine more.

Marion Barry received a Masters of Science in organic chemistry. Marion Barry began his doctorate degree, first at the University of Kansas, then at the University of Tennessee, but eventually quit out of boredom.

Marion Barry stopped paying taxes almost a decade ago.

When Marion Barry was shot in the stomach, only the bullet died.

Marion Barry has never lost an election.

In January of 1990, Marion Barry was arrested and charged with three felony counts of perjury, 10 counts of misdemeanor drug possession, and one misdemeanor count of conspiracy to possess cocaine. The Judge declared the case a mistrial because, according to DC law, Marion Barry is allowed to possess only 'hard' drugs. Instead, Marion Barry went to jail for smoking pot once in 1989.

When Marion Barry was in jail, he was the mayor of the jail.

In September of 2006, Marion Barry was pulled over for running a red light. The Judge ruled Marion Barry not guilty in the case, because DC law states that Marion Barry can run red lights.

A similar thing happened in December of 2006, when Marion Barry was pulled over for driving too slowly. Marion Barry was not ticketed, because DC law states that Marion Barry can drive at any speed he likes.

In the Ward 8 general election, Marion Barry received 95% of the vote. The other 5% of the votes were not counted for spelling Marion Barry's name wrong, as 'Marion Berry.'

Marion Barry was 68 when he returned from political retirement to run for the Ward 8 councilmember seat. Marion Barry said he was having a mid-life crisis. Marion Barry is expected to live until at least the age of 130.

In May 2009, Marion Barry voted against a bill committing D.C. to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere - the only dissenting vote in a 12-1 sweep. Marion Barry said he could not vote for the bill because it "goes against my moral compass."

On July 4th, 2009, Marion Barry was arrested and charged with stalking when he was pulled over for following an ex-girlfriend. All charges were dropped 4 days later when it was discovered the complainant was actually stalking Marion Barry.

There was almost a wax model of Marion Barry at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in DC, but it melted just prior to completion. There can only be one Marion Barry.

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this post was inspired by the great Scotty "truemetal" Maxwell. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Scott Maxwell.

3 comments:

Scotty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scotty said...

I am truly honored and humbled, Gentleman Winer. Thank you.

In other news, Marion Barry believes that a vote in favor of recognizing gay marriage could trigger a
"civil war"

Not because of any latent homophobia, but simply because of the outrage that anyone would dare defy Marion Barry.

B.Graham said...

um, this is the best post ever. just sayin.