Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wasting my time

It appears I've been wasting my time. I've been wasting my time networking, I've been wasting my time doing interviews, I've been wasting my time applying to jobs through useless websites, making useless connections I may never use. All this time, ALL THIS TIME, the quick fix has been in my email, just sitting calmly, and waiting, and waiting and waiting for me to realize that the answer to my future joblessness has been right in front of me all along...

in my spam mail.

What a goldmine I've ignored for so long! Riches and wonders awaiting me now! I thought I was struggling, when all along, the offers have been pouring in!!

Like this gem from a Mrs Turuer Ann (

Subject: Attention !!!
Message: I am Mrs. Turuer Clarissa Ann. I have a business proposition that will benefit you now and in the future. If you are interested in a job, kindly respond via to enable me forward you further information
Mrs. Turuer Clarissa Ann.

Mrs Turuer Ann, you are a beacon of truth!
And check out this offer from Nancy Carter of Jewelries Company from the UK:

Message: Good day Sir,
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you as MRS. NANCY CARTER , I and my Husband own a company that produces and sells Jewelries and Fabrics. I am looking for a hardworking, trustworthy, honest and sincere representative in Canada/USA/Europe that can help as a link between me and my clients in these countries. I would like to know if you are interested to work from home for us.

NANCY CARTER JEWELRIES CO needs a book-keeper or representative in Canada/USA/Europe that would eventually get paid weekly without leaving or affecting your present job.
I'm presently running a JEWELRY Gallery in London, United Kingdom and we need someone to work for the company as a Representative/Book keeper in Canada/USA/Europe. My company also produces various clothing materials, batiks, assorted fabrics and traditional costumes. We have numerous clients that we supply with our products on a weekly basis and my clients make payments for our supplies on a weekly basis. We need someone in Canada/USA/Europe to work as our representative and assist us in processing the payments from our clients and I will pay him/her a weekly wage, by percentage.

All you need to do is receive this payment from our clients in the Canada/USA/Europe and get it cashed in your bank or a cashing place, then deduct your 10% and forward the balance to the company down here via Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer at any of their transfer outlets in your vicinity. Our payments will be issued out in your name and you get them cashed at your bank, deduct your 10% of the initial capital and remit the balance to our company by Money Transfer.

If accepted I will need your Full name, Address and Phone number so we can forward it to our clients and they will start making payments to you as the vacancy has been filled by you.

FIRST NAME.......... SURNAME............
ADDRESS............................... CITY................ STATE...............
ZIP CODE.............. COUNTRY..............
PHONE NUMBER (S) ...............
GENDER............. MARITAL STATUS.......... AGE............... NATIONALITY...........

NB: Please all replies should be sent in not more than 30 days prior to the receipt of this message. Thanks and I'm anticipating to read from you in earnest.

nancyjewelriesco@(do not e-mail this address)

London, here I come! As you can imagine, I've already forwarded her all my info. I also got an offer from China! But don't bother sending YOUR resume in, I've already got you beat. Check it out:

Subject: JOB OFFER
Message: ATTENTION: This mail is serving as an invitation to treat Urgently. I will not fail to state that I am sorry for encroaching in your privacy. Feilong Plastic Company located in Zhejiang China, produces colour printing and multi-laminating plastic packing bag for packing any kinds of products in China, some of them are foil bags.

Due to the increase in demand of our products in America,Canada and United Kingdom,we have decided to move our products fully into the continent of United Kingdom.We wish to crave your indulgence that we are searching for reliable persons/companies in the United Kingdom, United States, Canada,South America and Europe who can act as RECEIVING OFFICER who will act as medium of reach between our customers and us in their area. Note that,if finally aprroved as our Representative, you will be entitled to 8% of whatever amount you receive from customers who are making payments for outstanding invoices on behalf of the company.Our account officer will convey to you the medium which you will use to remit any funds received on our behalf. If you are interested in being a REPRESENTATIVE OFFICER in the above location and your locality, You will also be entitled to a monthly salary of 1,500 GBP starting from this month. Please fill out this form below for a start up process and we will send you full details of job.

  • Full name:
  • Residential Address:
  • Phone:
  • Occupation:
  • Company name/Position (if any):
  • Sex:
  • Age:
  • Email:
  • Country:
  • Do you have an exclusive relationship with another China based company? YES /NO

Note: You don’t have to leave your present job for this since it is on a part-time basis. It is not time/ energy comsuming.We look forward to your response if you find this very interesting and please delete if not interested.

Thank you for your time.

Respectfully Submitted,

Contact Person: Ye Junpei


Winer, FTW!


Ozkirbas said...

@spambot - It's my husband and I. You make the same mistakes over and over again. F+

Scotty said...

I don't need a job, I've got the abandoned assets of an exiled Nigerian general coming in! Just have to send in a few grand to set up the wire transaction, and then the money will roll right in! WOOOOOO!

Stephen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephen said...

Ladies and gentlemen, I've traveled over half our internet to be here tonight. I couldn't get here sooner because my new bookkeeper/representative was emailing me from Canada/USA/Europe and I had to see about it...