Disillusioned

I wrote this post three times and deleted all three drafts.

Each one was radically different than the others, despite trying to say the same thing each time. Each time I looked at it and said to myself "wow, this is straying really far from my original point."

Because my point, the only point I want to make, is that I used to believe in John McCain and now I don't. Up until this point I've ignored or excused his erratic behavior, but I've hit my limit of what I can tolerate. He's not a good man, he's not a good public servant, and he's not the person I thought he was.

The breaking point was, of course, McCain's continued filibuster of the move to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Because when you see on a hiring line that the government enforces a policy of non-discrimination regardless of race, gender, ethnic origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, physical disability, or age, they're holding that standard to everybody but themselves. You can't serve in the military and be openly gay. I had really hoped McCain was above this. It turns out he is far below.

Looking back on it, I've probably been fooled by the man's persona for a long time. Like many, I believed he took a strong stance against the things he believed to be morally wrong without caring about the consequences to his career. After all, he sponsored McCain-Feingold, which went against the conservative grain and tried to reform campaign finance. He's come out time and again stating that he believes in climate change and our need to combat it. He voted against the Bush tax cuts which squandered the Clinton-era surplus long before the war ever started. I really thought we had a guy here we could count on. I thought, given the chance, this guy would honestly change things.

If I had been paying better attention, I probably would have realized that he was more than a little duplicitous when he stuck so strongly by President Bush's side despite the fact that during the 2000 primaries, Bush was totally a dick.

I mean, seriously.

I might have thought more about it when Bush decided in 2006 that while signing McCain's bill on torture, he'd decide personally what did and didn't constitute torture and McCain didn't raise a word of protest. It might have stuck out a little more when he voted against a bill which would ban same-sex marriages in 2005, and then had on his website in 2008 that he believed marriage was only between a man and a woman and would appoint judges who felt the same if elected. If I hadn't been so taken with the idea that this guy was a reformer, a real, honest-to-God bi-partisan centrist who was concerned with doing what's right instead of what's easy or good for his career, I might have found it more than a little strange when he marched down the streets in Iraq and proclaimed them "safe," neglecting to mention that he was with an escort of over 100 U.S. soldiers at the time.

But it's hard. This man was my hero.

I don't have a lot of male role models in my life. Up until I was 16, if I needed guidance on what kind of man I wanted to grow up to be, I had to look either to my Uncle or Spider-Man. In 1999, the only thing I knew about politics was that Clinton was leaving office after giving America a lot of money and new definitions for "sex" and "is." Then John McCain shows up and wants to be President, and it seems to me for all the right reasons. Bush to me had the charisma of a goal post, which made him roughly twice as charismatic as Al Gore. I didn't care about them - I wanted this guy. He was passionate, driven; he really wanted to speak to my generation and make sure America, and its government, kept working for us.

In 2004, John McCain said this during an interview with MTV regarding Don't Ask, Don't Tell:

"There's many of us who are not comfortable with this issue, and I'm one of them. Primarily because I hate to see legislation and government involved in people's lives. ... But society is changing. We now have a don't-ask-don't-tell policy in the military. When I first came into the military, that would never have been possible. Society is evolving. Whether it's evolving for better or for worse, I'll let someone else make that judgment."

This gave me hope. Because when you're a public official, you don't have to like a policy - in fact, I'd say it's not part of your job to agree with everything sent your way. You just have to assess if it is what the people want. Vocal opponents of Don't Ask, Don't Tell would probably jump on McCain for not condemning the policy outright with this statement, but you know what? He shouldn't have to. What he's saying here is regardless of how he feels, society is changing and, whether he thinks it's right or wrong, it's his job to serve the American people, and the majority of Americans are against the policy.

So even as an old man, presumably set in his ways, he was not going to use his position to exert his wishes over those of the American people.

And now he filibusters the vote to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. He filibusters not because he's trying to support the troops, since there are obviously tens of thousands of armed servicemen and women he's distinctly not supporting. Not because he thinks it's the will of the American people, they've clearly spoken out in favor of repeal. He's doing it because his Senate seat is up for grabs and he wants to make sure he earns the Republican nomination, so he's sticking up hard for the party line.

In 2008, when John McCain had a chance at becoming the President, I stood behind him. I believed in him, and whenever anyone pointed out his dramatic shift in tone, I brushed it off. "He's just pandering to the conservative base so that he'll get elected," I would tell them. "Once he gets into office he'll go back to his old self." Even though he lost, largely, in my mind, due to his choice of Sarah Palin as a running mate, his concession speech seemed to confirm everything I thought. Obama won, he lost, now it was his job to help the President any way he could, because that was the will of the people.

I was wrong.

The reason I deleted my other drafts is that I spent so much time trying to dig up all the good McCain had done that I meandered completely away from the point. I did this because I wanted to balance what I was saying with examples of how he was a great guy before. But his filibuster finally makes me wonder if that was ever really the case.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell violates the first and fifth amendments of our Constitution. And remember, this is a step forward from pre-Clinton years; Reagan described homosexuality and military service as "incompatible." Why would anyone stand up in support of violating an American's rights, especially a member of our military? Why would anyone stand up to prevent such a violation from being repealed? And asking those questions inevitably leads me to more questions.

Why would McCain suddenly support a fence along the border, blaming illegal immigrants for home invasions and murders? This completely reverses years of opposition to rhetoric which blames immigrants for our problems.

Why would McCain not make a comprehensive statement on his plans to protect Social Security during his 2008 campaign, when he did during 2000?

Why would McCain support an anti-abortion agenda, and then vote No on a bill which would have given $100 million to reduce teen pregnancies through education and contraceptives in 2005?

Why would McCain attack a plan to cut Medicare and Medicaid spending by $491 billion in 2009 when his own 2008 campaign ran on a platform which would have cut over $1.3 trillion?

Why would he pledge to vote "No" on Obama's stimulus plan unless the tax cuts from the Bush era were made permanent - the same cuts he voted against in 2000?

Why would McCain emphasize so strongly his desire to work with the President, support the President, and help make America stronger with the President, healing the red/blue divide in this country, only to become his most vocal critic and opponent?

Because . . .

Because he's not a hero.

He's not an arbiter of change.

He's just a politician, doing what politicians do. Trying to appeal to his base of solid voters to make sure he keeps his job for a few more years. And now that is actively hurting the troops he's claimed to support so actively all this time.

And I have to ask myself, in the midst of all this, what if it was unpopular amongst McCain's base to be Jewish? What if they demanded Jews not be allowed to serve openly in the military? Would McCain stand in front of Congress and say that it's for the good of the troops that no one who's Jewish be allowed to observe while in the armed forces? If that was the party line being taken, would I watch John McCain on the Senate floor filibustering an attempt to enforce the first amendment?

Like he's doing right now?

And in answer, yeah, I probably would, because there's no reason to think McCain would be any different in anti-Semitic America than he is in homophobic America.

I thank John McCain for his years of service to this country during Vietnam. That is where my gratitude for his work ends. Because now I can't tell if all the work he did in the Senate was legitimately for the good of this nation or just the good of himself. Shame on you, McCain, for failing to support our troops in favor of supporting yourself. Shame on you, McCain, for choosing to oppose the rights of Americans because your Senate race was a little tougher than usual this year. Shame on you, John McCain, for costing me my role model.

I wanted to be just like John McCain. I wanted to stand in front of Congress and demand we do the right thing. I wanted to be this dynamic persona who reached across party lines when he needed to because as much as he believed in his own convictions, he believed in helping America more. I wanted to be the one who changed things, who made a difference, who never backed down from what was right even if being pushed down upon by a sea of wrong.

So thank you, John McCain. Because I've decided I still will be. I'll be everything you pretended to be, everything you are not.

And one day in the future, when some young boy or girl looks to our government for a hero, I will not let them down.

Five Reasons Heroes is the Worst Show On Television Right Now

What's more frustrating than wasted, squandered potential? Season one of NBC's now unwatchable Heroes is hardly perfect, but it's undeniably promising and in no way implies that the show is rapidly headed for the toilet. But sure enough, three season later, watching an episode of Heroes is time better spent prodding ones self with a blunt fork. Here are five reasons why.

1. On the Nose Dialogue

I have a hypothesis. I believe that the people who wrote the first and second seasons of Heroes were attacked and killed, all individually, in their homes, by a group of opportunistic children driven mad by watching too much television. Then, these mindless children took over the daunting task of writing the show, and are still manning the ship to this day.

This is one of many hypotheses I have as to what might have happened to the original writers of Heroes, others involve anti-social calc students and numerous retarded sheepdogs. Either way, the Heroes writing has gone from perfectly acceptable to inhumanely bad. The show literally insults you by summarizing everything that happened in the past month at the start of every episode. And what in the world ever happened to subtext? Or having characters act on their emotions, instead of just stating them blatantly? This exchange from last night says it all-

SYLAR'S AWFUL SIDEKICK WHO I WISH WAS DEAD-"You're not gonna kill me?"

SYLAR-"That would be a bit on the nose."

Yeah Heroes, it sure would. Which leads me to my next point.

2. Sylar
What started out as one of the coolest, most maniacal, evil for the sake of evil characters to ever grace TV has now been reduced to an unmotivated pawn-a whining child who bends to any whim, and seems to have no character or ideals he can call his own. In the span of one season, Sylar-

Is a bad guy.
Becomes a good guy.
Falls in love with Elle.
Becomes a bad guy again (with Elle).
Becomes a good guy again.
Becomes a bad guy again.
Kills Elle (for no reason).

What made Sylar so scary was that he would do anything. He was uncontrollable, a literal human monster. But Sylar could always justify his reasons for killing with his own twisted logic. Now, nothing he does makes sense. To anyone. Just look at him now-traveling cross country with the most annoying kid in the world (why is he still alive) looking for his dad. Why do we care about this? We don't. No one does.


3. Lack of Character Motivation
I alluded to this in the Sylar section, but it seems like characters on Heroes do things constantly without motivation. Why did Sylar kill Elle? Why did Elle tell the man at the car rental place that Sylar was a killer after convincing him he was a good guy at heart? Why did Nathan decide to round up and arrest all his friends? Why did Daphne decide she loves Parkman? Why does Angela Patrelli do ANYTHING??? The Heroes wander through the world, having no idea why they are there or what their purpose is. It makes you wonder what the purpose of watching the show is.

4. No One Stays Dead
This is okay in comic books (sometimes). In TV, it's just damn annoying. Especially when they finally kill off Daphne, who is utterly unbearable, only to bring her back two episodes later! She got shot, like, nine times! She's not 50 Cent! How is she still alive? And what was the point of digging up Adam, only to kill him off moments later? I'm just waiting for Elle to come back. You know she will. Actually, I'd be okay with that. Kristin Bell is gorgeous.

5. The Gradual Retardation of Hiro Nakamura
He used to be so adorable. What made Hiro so great was not that he was childlike, or a moron, it was that he had powers and loved them. To pieces. That first "Yata!" in Times Square, that moment of absolute joy when he first teleported was so fun to watch because of how much he was enjoying it. Hiro was an everyman-he displayed so brilliantly the excitement and uninhibited happiness you or I would have if we woke up to find we could bend time and space. But turn him into a ten year old (literally and figuratively) and just a general moron, and you're left with an annoying character who headlines pointless B stories. He's gone from a grown man who loved being alive to a mindless idiot. And that's damn depressing.

Honorable Mentions
1. Calling powers "abilities."
2. Daphne
3. Ando getting powers
4. Daphne
5. Sylar's New Sidekick
6. No one ever using their powers
7. Daphne
8. Parkman using his powers and looking like a moron
9. I hate Daphne
10. Tracy Strauss/Jessica/Whatever the other persons name was, just Ali Larter in general. Terrible. Brings shame to the Strauss name.

Every week I ask myself, why do I still watch this show? And I think it's because I see it's potential. I see that Heroes has all the elements of a great television show. And I want to see that magic recaptured so badly, like it was in season one. I don't know if it ever will be. I suspect it wont. But, if it is, I'll be watching...

A History of Justice - Superman

SUPERMAN
(Clark Kent)

The Story: You've all heard it before, but it bears repeating - the last son of a doomed world who instead becomes the champion of another.

When his warnings about planetary instability go unheeded by a political machine too old to change, Scientist Jor-El (and possibly Al Gore) creates a rocketship to save his infant son from certain destruction. As the planet smoked and crackled around him he sent Kal-El to Earth - and in moments, after an entire world of people died in a sizzling heartbeat, Kal-El became the last son of Krypton.

Landing on Earth in the middle of the American heartland he was found by Jonathan and Martha Kent - a young couple who had once been told they would never conceive a child of their own. Instead of reacting with fear and hate to this alien baby crawling from the wreckage of the stars, they took the boy as their son and raised him. They named him Clark Kent.

Clark grew up in Smallville hiding his incredible gifts from the world - his body stores and converts yellow sunlight like a solar battery, giving him amazing powers of flight and speed. The different density of Earth hardens his muscles, and gives him incredible strength beyond those of normal men. But his heart grows up human, a gift from the Kents, and one that will be his greatest strength and greatest weakness.

Eventually Clark moves to the gleaming city of Metropolis where he becomes a reporter for the Daily Planet. When a plane is about to crash down, Clark is forced to act in public for the first time, bearing a costume sewn by his mother with a cape made of the very blanket he was sent to Earth in. It was at that moment a young reporter named Lois Lane would first name him Superman, and give voice to the hopes of an entire populace - truly now, men could fly.

Disguising himself with a pair of glasses, and an entire shift of posture, physique, and tone - bumbling Clark Kent fell in love with Lois Lane, who in turn only had eyes for Superman, creating one of the classic love triangles in modern fiction - until they instead became one of comics' most formidable teams and an enduring marriage in a time when the idea of aging seems anathema to most publishers.

What Makes Him Cool - Here's what makes Superman so cool - his weakness. And not Kryptonite. His capacity and willingness to love.

Imagine having absolute, infinite power and instead of choosing to live like a God, instead you chose to live like a man. Instead of using this incredible power for any kind of selfish gain, instead of ruling over the world with even a benevolent fist, instead you used your power to become a champion of justice and one of utter selflessness. Superman is pure good, the beacon in darkness that guides us to what is right. Cool may go in and out of style but Superman is timeless. His is the ultimate story of nature vs. nurture - would anyone else with these powers act the way he does? Is it his genetics or his being brought up by two such wonderful and loving parents?

His is also the ultimate immigrant story, which makes perfect sense for two young Jewish boys in the 1930s. He is a stanger from a strange land who lands in America - where he hides out because of the fear of being different, but also has the opportunity to become the best of us. Superman represents the 'invisible minority' - the Jew, or Catholic, or anyone else who's differences reach their core but aren't readily apparent skin deep. He was adopted by a kindly couple in Kansas - that basic metaphor for American values (the Wizard of Oz used Kansas to create the All-Ameerican Girl too). And in what I think is an incredibly poignant twist, the only physical object that can harm him are pieces of his former home, now radioactive, acting as a metaphor for the way America wants us to abandon our past in order to be a part of something new.

But what makes Superman so incredibly cool? His is a love story that defies description. He chooses to love someone he has to know he'll outlive. He puts himself in a situation where there can be nothing but future pain but does so with abandon, because that love is all-consuming. Everyone he knows will one day die and leave him here on Earth alone and yet he gives a piece of himself to all of them just the same. What kind of toll does that take on a man, not knowing if you're ever going to die? And his love is his greatest weakness - by caring about people he can be made vulnerable, simply because they are. If he were hard, or cold, he would be unstoppable - but he wouldn't be human. And make no mistake, powers or not, Superman is Clark Kent first and foremost. Not the bumbling fool he masquerades to be, but the Clark Kent that grew up in Smallville - a lonely outcast that found a group of incredible friends in the 30th century where every kid could fly.

Superman is the shining light of optimism, the best the Super-Hero community has to offer. He is the image of the Justice League. My favorite image is the one at the top of this post - Superman just sitting on a cloud, pefectly relaxed, watching the world. No muscles rippling, no great effort. He doesn't need to. He's Superman - why worry? Things are going to be okay.

And so we don't have to worry either.

Reccomended Reading:

JLA - American Dream (W-Grant Morrison, A-Howard Porter): Including possibly my favorite Superman moment of all time - after single handedly pulling the moon back into orbit, Superman returns to Earth as it's under siege by the Bull-Host of Heaven. The rogue angel Asmodel has decided to succeed where Lucifer failed and overthrow God himself. J'onn J'onzz stands there, charred and tattered, refusing to give way, when Superman puts a hand on his shoulder and says "You've done enough, old friend. Stand down. I'll take over now." And charges into battle.

The Flash puts it best when he says "This is the guy who said he couldn't live up to his myth? He's wrestling an angel..."

All-Star Superman (W-Grant Morrison, A-Frank Quitely): Quite possibly the single greatest Superman story of all time. In 12 issues of award winning work two masters of the craft show us just how amazing Superman is. When Superman is finally about to die, he is charged with 12 labors to accomplish before he can pass on. From Lois refusing to believe that Superman is Clark because she just can't accept having been right for years and being lied to, to Lex drawing on his eyebrows out of vanity, to Jimmy Olsen turning into Doomsday, this book is everything you ever need to know about Superman and those he cared about.


Final Crisis: Superman Beyond, and Final Crisis #7 (W-Grant Morrison, A-Doug Mankhe): Where Lois lies dying in a hospital bed and the only way to save her is for Superman to lead a team of upermen from across the multiverse on a suicide mission against a vampire God. Where he makes the ultimate sacrifice in a moment dubbed "Hate Crime, Meet Selfless Act" - and where he contains the cure for Lois, a liquid no one but Gods can ever contain inside a single kiss because "Nothing can hold or contain Bleed, they said. They were wrong. Superman can."


And finally he saves all of existence just by wishing for a happy ending.


Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (W-Alan Moore, A-Curt Swan): After the Crisis of Infinite Earths, Superman was being rebooted. And so Alan Moore and legendary Superman artist Curt Swan got to tell the definitive ending to everything Superman had been up until that point, and it was beautiful. It's been done to death now, but at the time, seeing Superman alone in the Fortress of Solitude crying with Krypto at his side was one of the most heartbreaking moments I experienced as a young adult. And it had quite possibly the single best intro to any comic ever -

"This is an IMAGINARY STORY

(which may never happen, but then again may)

about a perfect man who came from the sky and did only good.

It tells of his twilight, when the great battles were over and the great miracles long since performed;

of how his enemies conspired against him and of that final war in the snowblind wastes beneath the Northern Lights;

of the women he loved and the choice he made between them;

of how he broke his most sacred oath, and how finally all the things he had were taken from him save one.

It ends with a wink.

It begins in a quiet midwestern town, one summer afternoon in the quiet midwestern future.

Away in the big city, people still sometimes glance up hopefully from the sidewalks, glimpsing a distant speck in the sky... but no: it's only a bird, only a plane - Superman died ten years ago.

This is an IMAGINARY STORY...

Aren't they all?"

Aren't they?