Sunday, September 2, 2012
Conventional Wisdom
This was the first time I'd ever been to a convention for anything. Several friends of mine had sung the praises of New York Comic Con, and I'd heard of a few others happening in places I'd lived, but I never had the time or inclination to actually attend. Also, throughout much of college I was in a phase of my life where I was very concerned with my outward persona, so letting people know I read comic books? Watched anime? Had - gasp - seen all of Star Trek? These things were not topics I brought up outside of the presence of two or three friends from high school, why would I intentionally go to a convention advertising my interest in all that nerd stuff?
I'll tell you why, because that nerd stuff is awesome.
Walking through the convention in Toronto, being inundated by booth after booth from major comic book companies, indy film studios, costume makers, video game companies, artists, designers, - this place really had it all - I was struck by how many amazing things I loved they'd managed to cram into one place. Even more amazing, all those things I loved, there were people walking around in costumes dressed up like the characters from them! That's a thing you can do?! Before that point I'd always imagined "dressing up for a convention" was for people who had a Starfleet uniform in their closet.
I was wrong. I was stunned by how accurate and well done these costumes were. Everybody was there; there were Spider-Men, Batmen, Jokers, Ash's from Evil Dead, people from anime, people from movies, whole groups of people in coordinated costumes walking around. A patrol of Storm Troopers was walking the halls. Street Fighter characters would assume fighting poses for mass groups of photographers. People in steampunk outfits wandered around next to cylons. This place was like nothing I'd ever seen.
And I knew as soon as my friend and I left the floor that day; this is something I wanted to do.
At least once, sometime in my life, I wanted to get a costume, go to a major convention, and just walk around.
Unfortunately, as time went on and my Toronto experience faded, it seemed like that goal was going to be lost to me. The opportunity never really arose, and I never put much time into seriously pursuing it. I would bring up the idea from time to time, but usually the case was had neither the time or the money to put an outfit together, I didn't know whom I'd want to dress up as, there wasn't any convention conveniently nearby, or some combination of the three. Ultimately, I had pretty much forgotten the whole idea.
Until earlier this summer, when I got a phone call from my friend Matt.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
David & Jason Go to the Comics
A few years ago, Marvel Commander-in-Chief Joe Quesada decided that Spider-Man needed to return to his roots - being a the greatest super-hero of them all in his secret identity, and a lonely loser in his civilian one. The problem was that Peter Parker was married to Mary Jane Watson, a supermodel/actress wholly devoted to standing by her man. Peter and Mary Jane have been in love since the 70s, and were married in 1987. Some people were unhappy with this decision, saying that it was rushed in response to Stan Lee (writer of the Spider-Man newspaper comic) marrying them in his strip. However, even before this happened, Peter had already proposed to Mary Jane twice - he really wanted to marry this girl.
So Quesada decided that the kids of today were being robbed of the chance to experience Spider-Man as he was written from 1963 until 1987. An Amazing, Spectacular, sometimes Sensational super-hero with no luck whatsoever as a regular guy. So in making Spider-Man accessible, in his mind, to the kids of today, he took away the Spider-Man everyone who's been reading the comic for the last 20 years grew up or grew old with.
But to his credit, the stories which emerged from the storyline which split them apart, One More Day, were actually some of the best Spider-Man stories in years. Unfortunately, One More Day hinged on Peter and Mary Jane making a deal with the devil to erase their marriage in exchange for saving Aunt May's life. So, if you ever need a solid example of what the expression "pillars of salt" means, there you have it. Readers were just starting to get over the embarrassment to the characters and story-telling in general that was One More Day when Quesada had another great idea - let's show everyone exactly what happened that caused Peter and Mary Jane to never get married. We'll call the storyline O.M.I.T; One Moment in Time.
Below, I and my compatriot will critique this story - like Gentlemen.

Jason: What is this BULLSHIT.
David: So that ruins two characters in one story. Well done, Joe Quesada.
Jason: This whole thing is ridiculous for so many reasons. One, this whole story is just a giant justification for One More Day.
David: So it's more for making the writers - or writer, as the case may be - feel good about himself rather than actually tell a good story.
Jason: It's a terrible story! Why would Spider-Man make a deal with the devil? That doesn't make any sense! And this is how they resolve what happened? She's not strong enough to be with him.
David: Yeah, at which point one has to point out that Quesada has said that everything which has come before is still canon.
Still canon.Jason: No, of course not. It's stupid - it's the worst, most inept attempt at storytelling because there were so many ways to bring us to this point. If you really wanted to break up Mary Jane and Peter there are a dozen ways to do it, but to have him make a deal with the devil? How did that even get considered as an option? And this story was just told to try and put a spin on it; "oh, you see, they were both flawed the whole time, this marriage could never really survive."
The mask hides the loathing.Jason: And here's the thing; Joe Quesada has obviously made some really good - even exceptional - moves as head of Marvel. The company is doing really well right now because of his choices. But he wanted to move Spider-Man back into the stories he knew growing up, of Peter Parker as a down-on-his-luck loser. So he's going to move him out of his marriage, because being married to a model is just too much luck for poor 'ol Peter . . . and have him sleep with a bunch of gorgeous women instead.
David: And how is Spider-Man dating around moving him back into his old persona? How old are we talking here, anyway? Mary Jane has been around since 1966. Between Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, and the Black Cat the last 50 years have been a whole lot of committed relationships.
Jason: Exactly! This isn't even going back to anything! J. Jonah Jameson's the mayor? The Daily Bugle got blown up? Spidey's an Avenger now? How is any of this the same as before the wedding? How could none of these stories be told without Mary Jane and Peter still being married?
David: Alright, wait. Let's focus just on this as a story.
Jason: I'll try.
David: So - we're filling in the missing chunks of the story. One More Day breaks up Mary Jane and Peter, One Moment in Time fills in all the gaps.
Jason: Which didn't need to be filled.
David: Que?
Jason: Okay - One Moment in Time wasn't bad. Until the end - the ending was complete garbage. Like, the worst trite I have seen in a long time. "It feels like a Brand New Day?" Come on. Come on! You have to have the character say the title of the series? I hate that. It's so lazy, it's so trite. "Brand New Day" is the theme of all the post-One More Day stories. I get it. I'm not an idiot.
David: We're getting off-topic.
Jason: Right - okay, the story didn't need filling in. Most of the important stuff has already been talked about; how Harry Osborn came back, where Mary Jane has been, and so forth. Mephisto broke up the marriage, some things changed, that's really all we needed. We didn't need an essay describing why it all still makes sense. We're comic book fans - we're willing to accept a certain amount of story "just because."
David: Yes, I agree. This whole thing started out well enough; it shows exactly what happened at the wedding so they never got married. The thing that changed was a bird - whom I think we can assume was Mephisto - flew in to a cop car and hit the door latch, releasing a crook Spider-Man had just captured. That crook goes on to be in just the right place in just the right time to make Peter miss the wedding, and MJ leaves him.
Jason: I mean, stood up at your wedding - that's pretty big. I can agree with that justification. But then they KEEP GOING. And it doesn't make any sense. The whole story, operating on the premise that everything which came before it still happened - just gets worse as it goes along. And then the explanation of how they got rid of everyone's memories . . .
David: Yes, because the two most iron-clad excuses in comics; "it's science" or "a wizard did it."
A wizard did science - THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.David: What really bothers me the most is that some really great stories came out of One More Day, whether or not we want to admit it. People were just about ready to forget about it and move on, and then they bring this up again.
Jason: And Quesada for some reason thinks this is brilliant.
David: He had broken them up earlier, too, and the very first thing J. Michael Straczynski did when he took over the title was put them back together: because Peter Parker NEEDS Mary Jane.
Jason: Clark Kent is married to Lois Lane, that doesn't seem to really make the character suffer.
David: Right, but Spider-Man being married ages the character.
Jason: Oh, I forgot young people never get married.
David: I'm happy you managed to contain your impressive rage through this.
Jason: Honestly? I'm not really mad anymore, I'm just really tired of all this. The only thing I was interested in finding out was what Mary Jane whispered to Mephisto, and it turned out to just be some unimportant line about her going along with it.
David: What would have REALLY been interesting is if she had agreed to remember everything and promised to make sure they never got married again.
Jason: That WOULD be interesting.
David: But that's not what they did.
Jason: Nope, Satan and magic science, that's where it's at. Now let's go watch Spider-Man's pathetic life of screwing girls in spandex.
David: And that's all for today folks. Join us again the next time we go to the comics.
Jason: I take it back - I AM still mad.
Monday, December 14, 2009
30 Tiny Truths - 7
I think comic books are the highest form of published media available today.
This is not to cast any disparagement upon our other forms of communication. Books, magazines, newspapers - they all range, just as comic books do, from unbearable to superb. Comic books seem ephemeral compared to these stalwarts of media. They dart endlessly from one story to the next, often endlessly retelling similar stories in slightly different situations as writers struggle to pump out fresh ideas after nearly 70 years of being in the public eye. A book is solid, stalwart, written as a testament to the subject contained within to stand eternally as it is, ever unchanged. By comparison, comic books seem almost trivial.
In school, we study Dickens and Twain, not Morrison and Straczynski (though I maintain Mark Twain would love X-Men). We are given a thorough education on William Shakespeare, but learn nothing of Jack Kirby. Friends and family might guide us to the works of Hunter S. Thompson, but few are the people pointed in the direction of Alan Moore. Comic books as a form of art and literature exist on the fringes of the acceptable mainstream, more likely to garner attention as a summer blockbuster than as a monthly periodical.
Yet I solidly maintain that the comic book is the highest form of printed media we have attained as human beings. The story of a comic is not told in the pages between the covers, but in the journey of its character. When a comic story comes to a close, it is only so the next one might begin, and the lesson it teaches continue for the next reader. Atticus Finch and Tom Sawyer might provide a useful example of men fighting prejudice, but children who grew up reading X-Men have been learning that lesson their entire lives. We might get a thrill by reading about Sherlock Holmes and his brilliant deductions, but followers of Batman have watched the titular character use science and logic to the benefit of justice for over 7 decades. Frank Castle's endless journey in the pages of The Punisher show more about the ultimate futility of revenge than Moby Dick ever gets across, and with way cooler action scenes. Also, I'm pretty sure he used a whale to kill a guy once.
There are things you can express in a well-written comic that simply cannot be reproduced in normal print media. Iconic drawings stay with us just as long as a well-written passage. Facial expressions and subtle motions of hand and eye can be conveyed without the need for extra words to describe them. You can become emotionally attached to characters in comic books in ways books never quite attain. For once a book is over, that is the end of it. The next time you read it, the story will still be the same. In a comic, the story goes on forever, and the possibilities are endless.
So when you're questioning how to teach your kids the important lessons in life, look no further than your nearest comic shop. Spider-Man can teach them responsibility, Superman will show them the value of restraint, the Fantastic Four will illustrate the power of family. And if times are tough, Daredevil can show them that sometimes life is a bitch. There's no need to hide a love of comic books, in my opinion. On the contrary, I find avid readers subscribe to, at least in my estimation, the highest form of published media available today.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Cliff Chiang Remembers John Hughes Better than I Ever Could

“Dear Batman: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole
Saturday in Bat-detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you’re
crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us
as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient
definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is an archer, and a
speedster, and a swimmer, a princess, and an acrobat. Does that answer your
question? Sincerely yours, The Teen Titans.”
Thank you, John Hughes. Rest in peace.
-Cliff Chiang
Care of CliffChiang.com
Cliff Chiang is one of the best, and one of my personal favorite illustrators around.
And John Hughes is of course the man who made the phrase "Everything a Teenybopper Movie Should Be" have meaning in the first place.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday Comics

Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Dream
Nowadays that kind of change is almost impossible to find - characters have a status quo and almost every great change will eventually revert back to that status quo. Daredevil and Spider-Man may both be publicly unmasked, Steve Rogers can be murdered on the steps of the Capitol, Spidey and Mary Jane can even enjoy a 20 year marriage together - but eventually things revert back to their most classic forms. There's a logic to this - comics are unique in a way that no other industry can boast: characters like Superman or Batman have now been published consistently on a monthly basis for 70 years, and nearly all of their appearances are canonical. In the goal not to alienate both long term and first time readers, these characters enter a sort of cyclical pattern - whereby they constantly change and revert - or the 'illusion of change.' This is especially true once a character reaches a certain degree of popularity or mainstream attention - a small character can be endlessly re-tooled, but once public perception of a character is established you can bet that they'll be back that way one day.
Even harder to change is the actual premise of a strip, the fundamental ideas that govern a specific Super Hero. One of the few lasting changes has been the marriage of Lois and Clark, completely changing the 'Love Triangle' engine that a lot of people felt was the core of Superman's success (Clark loves Lois, Lois loves Supes, Supes wants Lois to love him as Clark). Now, with Lois knowing who Clark is, the nature of Superman's core has changed - Lois is played as Clark's tether to humanity, his true connection to the people of Earth in his times of greatest struggle as an outsider, his greatest source of strength and his greatest weakness, and in a way his embrace of mortality even as a God. Even with this deepening of the character, most of the Superman mythos remains the same: Clark is a mild mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper, kryptonite can kill him, Jimmy Olsen is his goofy pal, Metropolis is his home, etc. All of these elements are intrinsically Superman and even if one changes for a time it will return because that is the satus quo.
Which is why has happened recently and over the years with the X-Men is so fascinating.
In a way it makes sense that a comic book who's premise is based in evolution would be one of the few to slowly but genuinely change past the point of it's original concept and evolve into something I don't think can ever revert back from.
The X-Men's original premise was that Charles Xavier was a mutant with a Dream - a fictional analogue to Martin Luther King. Homo Superior, or 'mutants' had begun to evolve from Homo Sapiens, each blessed and cursed with strange and wondrous powers. More importantly, their very arrival signaled the impending deth knell of the Human species, a prospect that fundamentally scared the crap out of a culture that generally fears and hates what it does not understand. Mutants are considered a menace to society and face termination and camps. Xavier secretly runs a school to train and teach young mutants with an eye towards peaceful co-existence between man and mutant alike - never hating the humans back for their fear, but offering peace as a choice instead. His students become the outlaw group the X-Men, designed to combat the more violent and proactive mutant groups, especially those led by Magneto - Xavier's old friend, a holocaust survivor, and the Malcolm X to Xavier's MLK.
So while there are a ton of other fantastical aspects to the stories, the core of the X-Men is a few things - that Xavier dreams of peaceful coexistence, runs a school to teach young mutants, operates in secret; the world not knowing he is a mutant, and is embroiled in a deep idealogical debate over the nature of evolution with Magneto. The X-Men are taught the moral code of most heroes: not to kill, to act selflessly and with care to man and mutant alike, lead by example. His greatest student is a young man named Scott Summers, or Cyclops, an orphan who looks to Xavier like a father figure. Cyclops is so straight laced that it becomes a character point - some fans see him as lame, but he becomes synonymous with Xavier's dream. Established many times is that Scott is groomed to be Xavier's succesor. Being an X-Man is the only thing Scott knows.
What makes the X-Men so culturally relevant is the idea of mutant as the minority, easily accessible to any group who has been hated or feared. The camps in Days of Future Past are reminiscent of Concentration Camps during the Holocaust, the rounding up and registration of mutant Americans like Japanese internment camps. Prop X, a law written to keep mutants from breeding is the Marvel U analogy to Prop 8. Gay, Jewish, Black, White, Straight, Asian, what have you - all of us have likely been persecuted at one point because of what we are and the X-Men stand as a spandexed point of unity to that shared experience. Because of that the X-Men have been one of the few comics to embrace a diverse cast - the first major change in the comic being the '70s when they went from a classic whitebread quintent to a more adult lineup featuring a German (Nightcrawler), Canadian (Wolverine), African (Storm), Irishman (Banshee), Native American (Thunderbird), Russian (Colossus), Japanse (Sunfire), and soon a Jew (Shadowcat). Even with this radical cast expansion the school remained the same. And of course, Scott led them unwavering into the field.
But the basic tenets of the X-Men have actually completely changed now, and in a deep and profound way. Whether it be a response to the changes of society or the evolution of the story, Xavier's dream is no longer the guiding force of the X-Men as a group and I truly believe we have moved so far past that original concept that things will never fully revert.
The X-Men comic and what it represents has truly evolved and in the world of mainstream comics that is amazing.
One of the key moments of this was Grant Morrison's 'outing' of Professor X to the world at large as a mutant. Suddenly the school was no longer a secret, and that was a total game changer in the premise of the storytelling. Taking the Homosexual metaphor that True Blood has also been playing with - once the X-Men were out of the closet, there is no going back. That would be an insult to the very audience supporting the comic. Scott Summers took on the headmaster role of the school after being posessed by and released from the ultimate evil and was no longer the straight forward boy scout he used to be - carrying on a telepathic affair with the White Queen. 16 million mutants were massacred by Sentinels in Genosha - showing that mutants were no longer a minority in the way they had always been, but capable of populating a country the size of Israel. And Charles Xavier was revealed to have been manipulative in ways only hinted at before - including Xavier hiding the existence of Scott's younger brother Gabriel and how he almost killed him - creating a seismic schism between teacher and student.
Then Marvel pulled the coup de gras - in an attempt to make mutants more unique and less prevalent, with a magic word they rid the entire Marvel U of every mutant but 200. Mutants are no longer the inheritors of the earth - they are a dying species hell bent on survival at any cost. Forget the dream - there is no school anymore, Xavier has been completely replaced as the X-Men's leader. Scott Summers is no longer a teacher or the leader of a team - he is the spokesperson for an entire people, like Moses before him. Settled in San Francisco, America's cradle of acceptance, Scott has gone from student to President/General/Ambassador/Savior. The man who wouldn't kill now has a secret Wetworks team he sends to take hits out on mutant and human foes alike. He operates on the political level against the government of the United States and sees his people as an army.
It's actually rather startling to see how a concept to born and bred in the '60s, that gained entirely new success with it's diversity in the '70s, and was the example of absolute excess in the '90s has come to perfectly capture the fears of our generation, in the post-modern and technical age. Who has time for dreams when the Government is telling you how to breed? (or marry?)
Scott Summers is the new face of the X-Men, and while Xavier will still live on the margins, I don't see us ever going back.
The dream is dead.
Embrace change.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Call for Questions - 'Secret Files and Origins'
Anything you've ever wanted to know - from fact to opinion, this is your place.
Post questions here or send jschlaf@gmail.com
Saturday, July 4, 2009
This Week in 4 Colors - Part 1
*Spoilers Abound*

-UNCANNY X-MEN #513
"Utopia - Chapter 2"
Writer: Matt fraction
Artists: Terry and Rachel Dodson
Publisher: Marvel
What You Need To Know: This is the second part of what is being billed as the first X-Men/Avengers crossover in 15 years (the last being 'Blood Ties' in the mid '90s). That's a relatively debatable claim given that House of M wasn't a crossover in the more old school sense of the word like Utopia is (where the story is interconnected linearly between titles) but was a more 'event' crossover, originally billed as an Astonishing X-Men/New Avengers event before overtaking the entire Marvel Universe.
Also, these aren't the Avengers.
Oh, they call themselves the Avengers. To the people of the Marvel Universe they might be seen as the Avengers. But make no mistake, with few exceptions, these are no heroes worthy of being called 'Avenger.' As a byproduct of a series of significant Marvel events - Secret War (Where Nick Fury took a bunch of Super-Heroes of the radar and helped overthrow a country and then brainwashed them leading to his total disappearance from the world scene); Civil War (Where Captain America and Iron Man split the superhuman community in half and took the streets fighting over Super Hero rights the end of which led to Captain America 'dead' and Iron Man in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D.); and Secret Invasion (Where shapeshifting alien Skrulls infiltrated the Marvel Universe, kidnapped and impersonated heroes and irrevocably corrupted the system) - S.H.I.E.L.D. is now no more, replaced by a new organization - H.A.M.M.E.R. And Tony Stark is now out of power and on the run while H.A.M.M.E.R. and the 'official' Avengers have come under the care of Norman Osborn.
That's right - the Green Goblin, arch-Spidey foe and murderer of Gwen Stacy is now in absolute control over the defense of the United States. And his team of Avengers? Called 'Dark Avengers' for a reason. Lets look at this lineup.

THE IRON PATRIOT - Normie himself, flying around in one of Tony Stark's suits of armor, having appropriated the iconography and imagery of both Captain America and Iron Man.
'SPIDER-MAN' - Actually VENOM (Mac Gargan) former Scorpion and perennial loser, now bonded with an alien symbiote with a mad on for Spider-Man and a desire to eat people. Lots of people.
'HAWKEYE' - Actually BULLSEYE, the psychopathic master assasin who once murdered Elektra, now dolled up in Clint Barton's old purple duds for public consumption.
'MS. MARVEL' - Karla Soffen, the former MOONSTONE, and can you guess it? Another Super Villain dressed up in hero's clothes with a driving ambition and need for control.
'WOLVERINE' - DAKEN, or Wolverine's son - who's basically a douchebag hipster version of Wolverine with the power to control pheromones and is just doing this the fuck with dad.
CAPTAIN MARVEL - Noh Varr, young alien warrior of the Kree who has no idea what he's gotten himself into. Yet.
and finally THE SENTRY - the 'Golden Guardian of Good,' actually a completely Schizophrenic and mentally unstable Super-Hero with absolute power, a child's naivete`, and an evil split personality known as 'The Void.' Quite possibly the most powerful being on the planet and a time-bomb waiting to explode.Not quite "Avengers' material I'd say. On top of that Norman has formed a secret Cabal with some of the most powerful and infamous people in the Marvel Universe in order to make sure that now that the bad guys run the system, they get to keep it this way. This group includes Dr. Doom (Fantastic Four villain and ruler of Latveria), Loki (Norse God of Mischief, now in the body of Thor's wife), The Hood (Parker Robbins - new kingpin of crime with a demon powered hood), Namor (King of the former kingdom of Atlantis, now a ruler with no country), and Emma Frost - co-leader of the X-men, and there in secret. Emma made a deal with Osborn behing Cyclops' back - Emma keeps the mutants in line, Osborn leaves them the hell alone as he goes gunning for every other Super-Hero worth his salt.
Over in The X-Men's word things haven't been any less quiet. After the events of House of M (where Quicksilver used his mentally unstable sister The Scarlet Witch to recreate reality into a world where mutants were the dominant species and their father Magneto ruled America) Wanda used her powers to cause the Decimation - robbing all but 200 mutants in the entire world of their powers and ceasing all mutant births. Mutants, in a literal second, effectively became an endangered species. And in that moment the fundamental goal of the X-Men changed as well: from Xavier's dream of peaceful coexistence to Cyclops' new mission statement of survival. If there was ever an official moment of 'passing the torch' this was it - and Scott Summers now stands as defacto leader of Mutantkind.
Things took a sharp turn when in, of all places, there was a mutant birth in Cooperstown, Alaska. The X-Men raced to get there but they were beaten by the anti-mutant zealots the Purifiers, Sinister's Marauders, and Cable. In the ensuingbattle the entire city was razed to the ground. In the end, Cable ended up with the child, Xavier got shot in the head (he's better now), and the X-Men, now knowing a mutant birth is possible, all relocated the place most known for accepting the different - San Francisco. Welcomed with open arms San Francisco is now a mutant haven where the X-men live their lives, help the cops, and work on saving their species (which basically amounts to Beast setting up a crazy science team and everybody having sex a lot.)
Things were good.
Until a video surfaced showing the Cooperstown Massacre and its cause - a mutant birth. Now a wave of anti-mutant hysteria has come bubbling over California, led by Simon Trask and his Humanity Now coalition, pushing forth 'Proposition X' a piece of legislation that would make chemical birth control mandatory for all mutants. Suffice it to say the X-Men are none too pleased, riots have hit the streets, and Norman Osborn and his Avengers have been called into clean up the mess. Seemingly abandoning Scott, Emma meets up with Norman who lays down the law while The Avengers hunt down the X-men through the streets of San Francisco.
Got all that? Good, cause here we are.
Uncanny X-Men, under the pen of Matt Fraction, is probably the best this title has been in years and is finally the flagship of the brand once again. Under the 17 years of Chris Claremont Uncanny X-Men was the hottest title Marvel had. But recent stellar runs by Grant Morrison on New X-Men and Joss Whedon on Astonishing X-Men had let some of the luster on Uncanny start to rust. But since issue #500 the focus has been squarely back on the book that started it all. FRaction is one of my favorite writers out now, with a fresh voice and off the wall ideas. He understands these characters and the absolute, most important factor of any succesful X-book is that the characters are true to who they are. Not that they can't grow, they absolutely should, but we read the X-Men to hang out with old friends and these are very much the voices of the characters I have loved since grade school.
Making the tragedy of this issue that so few of them get the spotlight. It's a tough act to balance, with three separate teams operating in one issue and a supporting cast of even more. Of the core team we see Scott, Emma, and Hank but thats about it (Colossus and Iceman have a page). This issue is all about advancing plot and introducing Norman's new initiative - The Dark X-Men, his complementary X-Men team to his Avengers. Some of them get moments to shine, some don't, though with four parts left to go I'm sure we'll see more of them. The problem with stories of this scope is that it's easy to feel like characters are just set pieces being moved into position. We're not at that level yet, but the issues do feel a bit more hollow than I'm used to.
Given that so much of the issue is given towards introducing these Dark X-Men I think its only fair we take a brief look at them since they're poised to become major players in the X-world.
MIMIC - In another universe Calvin Rankin went on to become one of the greatest heroes his world had ever seen before being picked up by the reality hopping Exiles and eventually being killed. In our reality, however, Cal is a definite has been - a former X-Man and washout of a Super Villain with powers to mimic up to 5 mutant powers he comes in contact with at any given time. Since we've seen what kind of hero he can be under other circumstances and that he can very much be a fan favorite character I'm hoping this storyline represents the start of some sort of redemptive arc that leads Mimic down a truly noble path.
CLOAK & DAGGER - Tyrone Johnson and Tandy Bowen are runaways and former drug addicts with nothing but each other and special powers - his revolving around darkness and teleportation and hers healing and light. The two are cult favorites who have had very little play on the main scene. Cloak has gotten a lot of attention recently with some high profile moments in House of M and Civil War, and a long awaited mini-series was scrapped for them to be free for this storyline so I do hope this represents something bigger for them and not to be used as so much cannon fodder. A permanent home in the X-books would be nice.
DAKEN - We covered him earlier. Wolverine's son, now getting just as much over-exposure as his dad, but without the years of character building or massive popularity. They actually make fun of that in the book though, and it's a cute moment as Norman says, in reference to Q ratings, 'Turns out people LOVE Wolverine. Can't get enough of him. Who the hell knew?"Marvel does. And that's why he has 4 monthly solo series, is featured in 5 monthly team titles, and a consistent string of one-shots and guest appearances. He's the best as what he does, and apparently what he does best is sell comics.

WEAPON OMEGA - Michael Pointer was introduced in the rather unfortunate New Avengers arc known as 'The Collective' where he was the receptacle for all the displaced energy when the mutants lost their powers wordwide. This was also the arc where Brian Michael Bendis attempted his own rationalization for the Xorn debacle, which is a story for another time. Under posession by Xorn (ugh) Michael muredered the Canadian team Alpha Flight and since then has been making penance by serving in the replacement team Omega Flight. With him here, USAgent now in Mighty Avengers, and Beta Ray Bill off in space Omega Flight looks pretty depleted and Canada kinda got the shaft. Oh well.
As a Canadian national and official government Super-Hero I'm not quite sure what he's doing here under Osborn's flag waving command, but I do have faith that will be adressed sooner than later.
DARK BEAST - The Hank McCoy from an alternate dimension in which Charles Xavier was murdered, never formed the X-men, and thus Apocolypse took over (known famously as the epic 'Age of Apocolypse' story). This Beast escaped that dimension before nuclear war overtook it and has hung around here since then.) A brilliant genetecist he's also completely sadistic and sarcastic and thus gets the best character moments of all the Dark X-men in the book. Putting Dark Beast on the dark X-Men was a great choice and seeing the two Hanks interact is always fun.
MYSTIQUE - Raven Darkholme - Nightcrawler's birth mother, Rogue's adopted mother, former terrorist, former X-man, shape shifter - her allegiances change as often as she does. She killed Moira McTaggert, had sex with Iceman, and is only here cause somehow Norman infected her with a controllable bomb. She's pretending to be Professor Xavier, who is actually locked up in jail.
I imagine when Emma finds out about that she won't be very happy.
NAMOR - One of Marvel's oldest characters in terms of actual creation, he is one of Marvel's Golden Age trifecta with Captain America and The Human Torch. He's also considered the first mutant of Earth's 'mutant boom' period, thogh this is his first time ever really participating in the X-World. He's here because Emma pretended to kill Sebastian Shaw for him (who is really being holed up in their brig) and because he wants to bang her again.The long story made short is that there are a TON of secrets at play here. Scott is hiding from Emma, Emma from Scott, Emma from Namor, Osborn from Emma. Beast is in jail, Cyclops is a fugitive, and Wolverine is making his way back from New York as you read this. If they pull a few of this triggers, big things may happen.
That was a LOT longer than I thought. I'll continue my round up of this week's haul tomorrow.
Happy 4th!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Columnists Assemble!
Frank Rich is like Professor X, coming down once a week to dispense his aged wisdom, but he's also just a liiiiitle bit creepy. Tom Friedman seems to split the difference between the caped columnist and the womanly wordsmith and comes off a bit like Beast, a wise-cracking dork always coming up with something new that occasionally blows up in his face (The World is Flat? As if!). David Brooks is like that zany conservative neighor coming by for nachos, or I guess Mr. Mxyzptlk except that he doesn't really screw anything up. Then there are bread and butter folks like Gail Collins and Roger Cohen, because someone has got to be Iceman and Storm, right?
Sunday, February 22, 2009
One Year in Four Colors - Alan Moore: Wild Worlds (Part 1)
*Spoiler Warning* should be considered general practice.

Alan Moore: Wild Worlds
Writer: Alan Moore
Artists: Various
Publisher: DC/Wildstorm
Writing these reviews has actually changed how I buy and read comics. When I went into the store the other day, I thought about what book would flow nicely from my last review, in addition to being something I wanted to read. A few things called out to me from the shelves, but in the end I went with this - a collection of stories Alan Moore wrote for the Wildstorm Universe during the late '90s, not including his run on WildC.A.T.S. (which I should hopefully pick up soon). In my review of Captain Atom: Armageddon I got a chance to touch a little bit on the mechanics of the Wildstorm Universe and what makes it different from the DCU proper. In addition, Alan Moore even came up given that Atom was the inspiration for the popular character Dr. Manhattan in Moore's seminal work Watchmen. Now that Wildstorm is officially considered a part of the DC Multiverse as of Infinite Crisis and 52 I feel that as unofficial walking DC encyclopedia I need to shore up on my Wildstorm knowledge and bring it up to speed, and what better way to start than a collection of work written by quite possibly the most celebrated writer in all of modern comics?
Alan Moore is one of the few comics creators that could possibly considered a household name (alongside Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Will Eisner, and Frank Miller). Starting off working in the British independents he had a famous run on Captain Britain for Marvel UK with collaborator Alan Davis before being picked up by DC, where he'd truly become known as a legend - first with his groundbreaking run on Swamp Thing (which helped completely redefine the character, introduced John Constantine, and directly led to the creation of the adult oriented Vertigo imprint), an assortment of high quality and high profile DCU work (Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow and The Killing Joke), and of course Watchmen.
Soon after Watchmen, Moore had a pretty epic falling out with DC over a number of issues including royalties and creator rights - and especially that DC has kept Watchmen in print continually so that the rights will never revert back to him and artist Dave Gibbons (Watchmen was created before collected editions became the industry standard, and may very well have been the game changer). His hatred towards DC is so pronounced he has demanded his name be taken off every movie based on his DC properties - Constantine, V for Vendetta, and now Watchmen.
After DC, Moore began doing work on a number of the second tier companies' super heroes. He had a notable run on Supreme where he basically told all of his untold Superman stories with that character instead. He also began a long relationship with Wildstorm, one that only recently ended. He first started with a run on the flagship WildC.A.T.S. where he did what he does best - completely turned the original premise on it's head and made WildC.A.T.S. a contemporary and relevant title. It was around this time that Moore wrote the stories collected in Wild Worlds. Later Wildstorm created an imprint entirely for him, called America's Best Comics, where every title was an Alan Moore original. When Wildstorm was sold to DC it nearly caused the ABC line to collapse because of Moore's absolute refusal to work for DC comics in any capacity. The rumor is that Jim Lee, owner and executive editor of Wildstorm, personally visited Moore in England after the sale to reassure him that DC proper would have absolutely no editorial control over his work, and erected a series of corporate firewalls that made it so that Moore actually received his checks from Lee's personal account. This arrangement lasted for awhile, producing notable work like Promethea, Top Ten, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen until DC did in fact make content restrictions on two separate ABC titles. That combined with Moore's dissasatisfaction at the promotion of the V for Vendetta movie using his name led to him officially severing his last remaining ties with DC Comics and leaving the ABC line which was for all intents and purposes, him.
That said, how are the stories in this volume?
Pretty meh overall, actually. Lets go through them -
Spawn/WildC.A.T.S: Devil's Day
Art - Scott Clark
First off, it is INCREDIBLY weird to see Spawn both on the cover and in the story of a book published by DC comics. These are stories originally printed when Wildstorm was part of Image and not DC, and in those early days there was (and still is) a loose universe amongst all the different Image super-heroes, so Spawn and the Cats teaming up isn't that weird on it's own. But I'm totally unclear on how DC wrangled the publishing rights to reprint this without having to co-brand with Image. That sort of thing is usually a dealbreaker.
Spawn is one of those characters I've pretty much stayed away from ever since my dad bought me issue 2 when I was a little kid and the entire issue was pretty much The Violator ripping people's hearts out of their bodies and it scared the shit out of me. That really was the entire issue - that and this chunky, scruffy clown who looked like a pedophile. But I figure if anyone can make me be interested in Spawn it would be Alan Moore.
Sadly, more than any other story in the book, this one is kind of a mess. The art is nowhere near up to the standard we have in the the industry today as far as storytelling goes. There are a lot of pretty pictures and big poses but major plot points have to be narrated explicitly in a way that almost seems condescending because there's almost no sense that these things are actually happening in the way described. The perspective is also way off, making the reading experience jarring and sometimes unpleasant. For a comic to really work on all levels the art and words have to work in unison to tell the story - when they're out of sync (and not for intended effect) the whole lanuage of comics, this delicate balance of iconagraphy in two forms becomes muddy.
The story sets up a theme that runs through most of the work in this collection - that of outside forces with god-like abilities manipulating others from afar. In this case, a group of mystics who have grown beyond existence itself seek amusement by sending an amulet back through time, creating a time loop where Spawn goes evil and takes over the world (or at least Manhattan). When the surviving WildC.A.T.S. of the future come back to kill Spawn in the past they end up bringing him into the future with them - thus setting in motion the very consequences they sought to prevent.
This is basic super-hero fare, and it never goes beyond that. There are also a number of what feel like extremely manufactured personality conflicts, especially between Grifter and Spartan over control of battle tactics. It's never explained why they're arguing, neither is really established as being right or better, and there's really no sense of closure when it's resolved even though it's supposed to feel like a 'moment'. This may be because most of the dialogue and character work is spouted off in such expository factor that there never feels like any sort of build or depth. Also, the book was written in 1996 - so one of the characters from the future talks entirely with a very computer oriented slang that was supposed to feel cutting edge but is already horribly outdated and so gets very annoying, very quickly. Some of the 'twists' are so heavily foreshadowed that when they come it's almost more surprising that the characters themselves didn't figure it out on their own.
The highlight of the story for me was seeing Grunge and Burnout from Gen13 (another Wildstorm title and favorite from adolescence) as traitors in the future, especially with Grunge now being an evil accountant named 'Suit' - cause what else would be the idealogical antithesis of a character created to capitalise on the '90s grunge movement?
Also, like I said, I haven't read much Spawn - but he sounded a lot like a really whiny Spider-Man in this issue and that is not the impression I ever got from Spawn's voice before.
Overall, not a great start to the collection - I'll be back later with the rest.
Monday, February 16, 2009
And Now We Know
But finding this -
LolCats + comic books? That could be the peak.
Oh, who am I kidding? We all know it was the Star Trek Bar-Mitzvah...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
One Year in Four Colors - Captain Atom: Armageddon
Artists: Giuseppe Camuncoli & Sandra Hope
Publisher: DC/Wildstorm

Monday, February 9, 2009
A Match Made Somewhere
For those that don't know, Rob is one of the most reviled comic book artists ever. Fairly or unfairly there is an incredible hate, especially amongst the online crowd, towards anything that Liefeld touches at this point. The main reason being his inability to put ANYTHING out on time (we're talking multiple year delays sometimes), absolutely no sense of human anatomy, an affinity for gigantic shoulder pads, and obviously reusing the same art over and over repurposed for different comics. He's basically considered the poster boy for the '90s style that was hugely popular and also nearly killed the industry with style over substance, variant covers, and all flash.
I'm a douche!
I'm actually looking forward to this in that perverse way that I enjoy picking scabs or doing karaoke to Nickelback.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Backing up da 'Clops or "We Should Talk About Comics More on this Blog"
Cyclops, aka Scott Summers, is my favorite X-Man. He has been my favorite since I was a kid, in fact, if only I had access to my childhood photo collection, I'd post a picture of a fifth grade Daniel Strauss at the Murch School Halloween parade dressed as blue suit Cyclops, complete with head visor. That was a great costume.
Anyway, I take a lot of flack for being a Cyclops fan, and I wanted to debunk some of the most common anti-Cyclops theories, and just respond to all the people who are constantly calling me an idiot (for liking Cyclops, not just because).
RUMOR 1-CYCLOPS IS A TERRIBLE LEADER.
Let me start this answer with a question-are you an idiot? I know, don't insult your audience. But are you? Scott Summers has incredible leadership qualities, there's a reason he's been head of the X-Men for as long as he has. He is calm under pressure, he thinks things through, and, most importantly, he is much more powerful than people give him credit for (see Astonishing X-Men #1, i.e. blowing up a Sentinel and half the lawn). Dude's a born leader, and it's obvious if you're in any way familiar with the X-Men.
Yeah, you're right. Jumping out of a plane, sustaining head trauma, and killing yourself hoping you'd be brought back to life later by alien technology (again, Astonishing X-Men) makes you a total wimp. Also, you try spending your childhood seperated from your family and being experimented on by Mr. Sinister. You try that. Let me know how you turn out.
RUMOR 3-JEAN GREY WANTED WOLVERINE, ANYWAY.
Did she? Well then riddle me this-why exactly did she never leave Cyclops? I mean, if you really want to be with someone, you go to them, right? And did that every happen? Anyone? Jason? Cos I don't remember that happening. So I don't really consider that argument valid at all.
RUMOR 4-WOLVERINE SHOULD BE LEADER ANYWAY. HE'S THE COOLEST!
Imagine it-a leader who does and says whatever he feels with no consideration of what's best for the group-who charges into battle without thinking and frequently pays for his mistakes, despite not admitting them...huh. Familiar. Wolverine is pretty cool, though.
If you still don't agree, just read the entire Joss Whedon run of Astonishing X-Men. He writes Cyclops right-as a MAN.
And you can just add this to the long list of reasons I hate Brett Ratner. Nothing like an off screen death for the longest running leader of the X-Men aside from Professor X (good thing he killed him too).
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
One Year in Four Colors - Justice League International Vol. 3
*Spoiler Warning* should be considered general practice.

Justice League International Vol. 3
Writers: Keith Giffen and JM DeMatteis
Artists: Kevin Maguire, Ty Templeton, and Steve Leialoha
Publisher: DC Comics

Sunday, February 1, 2009
A History of Justice - Superman
SUPERMAN(Clark Kent)
The Story: You've all heard it before, but it bears repeating - the last son of a doomed world who instead becomes the champion of another.
When his warnings about planetary instability go unheeded by a political machine too old to change, Scientist Jor-El (and possibly Al Gore) creates a rocketship to save his infant son from certain destruction. As the planet smoked and crackled around him he sent Kal-El to Earth - and in moments, after an entire world of people died in a sizzling heartbeat, Kal-El became the last son of Krypton.
Landing on Earth in the middle of the American heartland he was found by Jonathan and Martha Kent - a young couple who had once been told they would never conceive a child of their own. Instead of reacting with fear and hate to this alien baby crawling from the wreckage of the stars, they took the boy as their son and raised him. They named him Clark Kent.
Clark grew up in Smallville hiding his incredible gifts from the world - his body stores and converts yellow sunlight like a solar battery, giving him amazing powers of flight and speed. The different density of Earth hardens his muscles, and gives him incredible strength beyond those of normal men. But his heart grows up human, a gift from the Kents, and one that will be his greatest strength and greatest weakness.
Eventually Clark moves to the gleaming city of Metropolis where he becomes a reporter for the Daily Planet. When a plane is about to crash down, Clark is forced to act in public for the first time, bearing a costume sewn by his mother with a cape made of the very blanket he was sent to Earth in. It was at that moment a young reporter named Lois Lane would first name him Superman, and give voice to the hopes of an entire populace - truly now, men could fly.
Disguising himself with a pair of glasses, and an entire shift of posture, physique, and tone - bumbling Clark Kent fell in love with Lois Lane, who in turn only had eyes for Superman, creating one of the classic love triangles in modern fiction - until they instead became one of comics' most formidable teams and an enduring marriage in a time when the idea of aging seems anathema to most publishers.

What Makes Him Cool - Here's what makes Superman so cool - his weakness. And not Kryptonite. His capacity and willingness to love.
Imagine having absolute, infinite power and instead of choosing to live like a God, instead you chose to live like a man. Instead of using this incredible power for any kind of selfish gain, instead of ruling over the world with even a benevolent fist, instead you used your power to become a champion of justice and one of utter selflessness. Superman is pure good, the beacon in darkness that guides us to what is right. Cool may go in and out of style but Superman is timeless. His is the ultimate story of nature vs. nurture - would anyone else with these powers act the way he does? Is it his genetics or his being brought up by two such wonderful and loving parents?
His is also the ultimate immigrant story, which makes perfect sense for two young Jewish boys in the 1930s. He is a stanger from a strange land who lands in America - where he hides out because of the fear of being different, but also has the opportunity to become the best of us. Superman represents the 'invisible minority' - the Jew, or Catholic, or anyone else who's differences reach their core but aren't readily apparent skin deep. He was adopted by a kindly couple in Kansas - that basic metaphor for American values (the Wizard of Oz used Kansas to create the All-Ameerican Girl too). And in what I think is an incredibly poignant twist, the only physical object that can harm him are pieces of his former home, now radioactive, acting as a metaphor for the way America wants us to abandon our past in order to be a part of something new.
But what makes Superman so incredibly cool? His is a love story that defies description. He chooses to love someone he has to know he'll outlive. He puts himself in a situation where there can be nothing but future pain but does so with abandon, because that love is all-consuming. Everyone he knows will one day die and leave him here on Earth alone and yet he gives a piece of himself to all of them just the same. What kind of toll does that take on a man, not knowing if you're ever going to die? And his love is his greatest weakness - by caring about people he can be made vulnerable, simply because they are. If he were hard, or cold, he would be unstoppable - but he wouldn't be human. And make no mistake, powers or not, Superman is Clark Kent first and foremost. Not the bumbling fool he masquerades to be, but the Clark Kent that grew up in Smallville - a lonely outcast that found a group of incredible friends in the 30th century where every kid could fly.
Superman is the shining light of optimism, the best the Super-Hero community has to offer. He is the image of the Justice League. My favorite image is the one at the top of this post - Superman just sitting on a cloud, pefectly relaxed, watching the world. No muscles rippling, no great effort. He doesn't need to. He's Superman - why worry? Things are going to be okay.
And so we don't have to worry either.
Reccomended Reading:
JLA - American Dream (W-Grant Morrison, A-Howard Porter): Including possibly my favorite Superman moment of all time - after single handedly pulling the moon back into orbit, Superman returns to Earth as it's under siege by the Bull-Host of Heaven. The rogue angel Asmodel has decided to succeed where Lucifer failed and overthrow God himself. J'onn J'onzz stands there, charred and tattered, refusing to give way, when Superman puts a hand on his shoulder and says "You've done enough, old friend. Stand down. I'll take over now." And charges into battle.
The Flash puts it best when he says "This is the guy who said he couldn't live up to his myth? He's wrestling an angel..."
All-Star Superman (W-Grant Morrison, A-Frank Quitely): Quite possibly the single greatest Superman story of all time. In 12 issues of award winning work two masters of the craft show us just how amazing Superman is. When Superman is finally about to die, he is charged with 12 labors to accomplish before he can pass on. From Lois refusing to believe that Superman is Clark because she just can't accept having been right for years and being lied to, to Lex drawing on his eyebrows out of vanity, to Jimmy Olsen turning into Doomsday, this book is everything you ever need to know about Superman and those he cared about.Final Crisis: Superman Beyond, and Final Crisis #7 (W-Grant Morrison, A-Doug Mankhe): Where Lois lies dying in a hospital bed and the only way to save her is for Superman to lead a team of upermen from across the multiverse on a suicide mission against a vampire God. Where he makes the ultimate sacrifice in a moment dubbed "Hate Crime, Meet Selfless Act" - and where he contains the cure for Lois, a liquid no one but Gods can ever contain inside a single kiss because "Nothing can hold or contain Bleed, they said. They were wrong. Superman can."
And finally he saves all of existence just by wishing for a happy ending.
Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (W-Alan Moore, A-Curt Swan): After the Crisis of Infinite Earths, Superman was being rebooted. And so Alan Moore and legendary Superman artist Curt Swan got to tell the definitive ending to everything Superman had been up until that point, and it was beautiful. It's been done to death now, but at the time, seeing Superman alone in the Fortress of Solitude crying with Krypto at his side was one of the most heartbreaking moments I experienced as a young adult. And it had quite possibly the single best intro to any comic ever -


