I Might Think About Facebook Too Much

Dear Next Facebook Generation -

I am pleading with you, here. Begging, desperate for some respite from my newsfeed. Just... please. Use a little discretion.

I mean, I get it. I was eighteen when I joined Facebook/it was invented. I definitely put things up that didn't need to go on the internet. But seriously. I don't know if anyone told you, but the internet, and now Facebook, is public. As in, The Public. As in, everyone can see what you write on there. In fact, when you write on Facebook, every single one of your friends is invited, nay, encouraged to read it.

So when you post pictures of your fourteen year old T and A, it's on my newsfeed. When your status is some passive aggressive I'M MAD AT YOU AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE message to one person, it's on my newsfeed. Mine, me, the girl who was in your AP Bio class in 11th grade, or the girl who babysat you when you were five, or the girl who accepted your Facebook friendship because she thought she remembered you, but now is not so sure.

Facebook is ideal for keeping up with people you don't get to see every day, or stalking the people you probably couldn't carry on a conversation with in real life but still want to know what they're doing. So yes, there is voyeurism involved. But when things that aren't practical strangers' business suddenly are, there seems to be a disconnect in knowing what is truly a clever/interesting/throw-away non-sequitur, and what is TMI.

All I'm saying is, know your audience.

Yes, Billy from third period might be reading it and realizing he needs to get his act together and ask you to prom. But also, your mom is probably reading it. And your Aunt Linda. And that kid who moved away in Kindergarten. And me.

And you know what? We're not jerks, your mom and your Aunt Linda, and Kindergarten kid and I. Once you put it online, it's like going to the village green and ringing a bell and shouting, "BILLY WON'T ASK ME TO PROOOOOM!!" So if we see you in real life and say, "Oh, so did Billy ask you to prom?" and you go "OMG stalkerrr!" you are the jerk.

So I mean, just try to keep that in mind. And don't be a jerk. Please.

Love,

That Girl You're Friends with on Facebook, But Not in Real Life