Waves

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed with grief for those who are missing in my life, I wish I lived in a different society. One in which I was allowed to scream and cry and beat at the ground in the beginning, at the funeral, and get it all out right then, right there. Force and let flow all the pain out of my body at once so I can be done with it and move on, happy to live my life and only look back fondly at the part of my life that included this person.

But then I think, that’s not something that happens at once. A broken leg doesn’t heal in one go; how can I expect a broken heart to do as much?  No amount of wishing will make that so. So then I wish I lived in a society in which it was okay to be in pain, to hurt for years and years, no matter the cause.  To have been able to call in to work this morning and say, I’m sorry I can’t come in today, I need to scream and tear my hair out because my grandmother died two years ago.  I need a day for residual hurt. I'll see you tomorrow.

ali d. Bonus Post - National Coming Out Day

I'm not going to say anything here that hasn't been said before, but it still needs to be said. And I hope that if enough people keep saying it, everyone will start to listen.

I am straight. I am female. I am white. I am middle-class. I am politically conservative. I am Catholic. And I am an ally of the LGBT movement for civil equality (and personal peace of mind).

We live in a nation in which each citizen is supposed to be equal, but there are still civil injustices being done every day to men and women based on their sexual orientation, a trait that is no more their choice than their race. Not only are these men and women neglected by our government, but they are mistreated by some of their fellow citizens. They are ostracized, bullied, jeered, and in extreme cases, tortured.

IT. MUST. STOP. Not next year. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Right. Now.

Today (at least for the next hour) is National Coming Out Day, an "internationally-observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, and transgender (LGBT) issues."[1] So today, I'm writing to make sure that everyone on the Internet knows that I throw my hat in with the LGBT community. They are people, and they deserve the same rights and respect as any other human being.

So to all my friends and family members with a queer identity: I love you for exactly who you are. I will support your campaign for equality in any way I can. And I look forward to the day that we can knock down the closet permanently.

[1] Wikipedia

Sellin' Out

There's a pretty insightful article today in the NY Times about Converse setting up a recording studio to give free recording time to up and coming artists.

This once again opens up a can or worms that's been perpetually been opened and closed since the start of recorded music -- selling out. Things have gotten more complicated in recent years; having your music in an advertisement is downright passe, especially since companies will use your music even if you don't want them to and then play it off later. There have been a number of ventures recently that go beyond just using a 30 second clip of a band's song. Converse has already sponsored a couple of collabo singles between hip artists, Nike has funded a few running albums/mix tapes and Mountain Dew have their own label.

So is all this selling out? Basically, yes. If you have the popularity or critical acclaim to be accused of selling out, and then you take money from a company then you are selling out. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Bethany Cosentino aka Best Coast writes enjoyable indie rock songs. Here music and aesthetic are not based on authenticity, so the idea of her taking some money for Converse isn't some terrible art crime. She wears Converse anyway, and likes the company, so there's not much harm in writing on a new song when they come calling. There are still pockets of authenticity, i.e. punk and rap, but even within those genres the rules of the game keep changing.

Not all artists can be Steve Albini, and not all artists should be. But artists who make a genuine effort to record, release and perform their music without an corporate interference (be it from a soft drink maker or a large conglomerate that happens to run the record label you're on) should be rewarded by their audience. A number of bands have gone directly to their fans to fund their music at sites like pledgemusic.com and I'd like to see that system expand. If I'm still willing to pay $15 for an albums, I might also pay $25 for a signed copy if it helps that album get made. Plus even if a band doesn't have a single fan yet, there's always youtube, myspace and facebook.

Up until about 10 years ago there was a specific path for a band - play gigs until you sign to a label and then record albums and tour until you break up. The mistake people made when Napster emerged was thinking that a new magical system would emerge phoenix-like from the ashes of the major labels. But there isn't a system, just an ever increasing series of choices. In the end bands should make the decisions that let them sleep at night and put food on the table during the day. Even if that means washing down the food with a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Gentleman in Residence - Jess: Four Improbable Things I Do Every Day (In China)

Friendly Gentlereaders: I am proud to introduce Jess, who will be the first poster in our new Gentlemen in Residence series.

For the month of October, inagurual GiR Jess will contributing posts about her very exciting (and improbable) life teaching English overseas in Nanjing, China (population: only half a million less than NYC). You can also read about her adventures at her own blog, jesseract. But for now, we've got her here, so read on below and give her a Gentlemanly welcome!

~Brett

**************************

Hallo, Gentlemen! My name is Jess, and I'll be guest blogging from China every Sunday for the next month. I moved to China largely because I'm impetuous and make poor decisions when I'm bored and unhappy (see also: joining the Navy, moving to D.C., breaking up with various boyfriends...), but I've been told that what I lack in rationality I make up for in bizarre adventures.

For my first post I've decided to give you a broad overview of my life in China, using, of course, a list. Enjoy!

4 Improbable things I do every day

1) Squat to pee

Everyone who reads my blog (or my Facebook, or my Twitter, or talks to me on IM, or has met me on the street and speaks English) is probably really tired of my complaining about the squatters. But I can't help it. Day-to-day, my life is not that different from life in the U.S. But every time I go to the bathroom and I'm confronted by a porcelain hole in the floor, it's a stark reminder that I am no longer in Kansas. I mean, even in Kansas they use toilets.

What, you want comfort? Capitalist pig!

2) Stalk white people

I am alone, adrift in a sea of Asian faces. I have found myself going blocks out of my way because I'm stalking white people in Nanjing. This has, at times, backfired, like when I followed a whole group of white people around the Nanjing museum for 20 minutes before I realized that they weren't speaking English, were actually Italian, and were beginning to wonder if they should alert the authorities about the crazy short girl who was ineptly attempting covert actions.

It's exactly like this, but in China.

3) Use chopsticks

I know what you're thinking: "Ok, Jess, I'll give you that squatters are gross, and, well, stalking white people isn't exactly normal, but you're in China. Even Americans eat Chinese food with chopsticks, even if they do it so poorly that they end up flicking pieces of broccoli across the room."

Yes, I agree. But I have only to show you one picture.

The horror.

See? Chinese people eat *birthday cake* with chopsticks. It's weird. Also, using chopsticks seems to have impaired my fork-using skills. By the time I get back to the U.S. I'm going to have to resort to shoveling the Chipotle burrito bol I've now been craving for 42 days into my mouth using my hands.

4) Carry toilet paper with me

Every time I reach into my pocket and pull out my little packet of toilet paper, I think, "My grandmother would be so proud of me."

Seriously, though, public bathrooms don't supply toilet paper here. What this means in practice is that upon the insult of the squatter is imposed the injury of having to dig through your pockets or your bag in order to wipe; precariously balancing so you don't actually pee on your clothes or touch the disgusting floor of the squatter. This obviously does not apply to boys.

Basically, what I dream at night.

One interesting thing, though, is that the Chinese have taken this opportunity to prove that capitalism trumps all: when you're walking on the street and you're approached by a guy who wants you to visit his club he's going to give you a little packs of toilet paper instead of annoying flyers. See, Americans, Communism, much like moving to China, is a better idea than a reality!

Gentlemen in Residence

We can talk about a lot of things here at These Gentlemen.

Throughout it's nearly two-year existence, we have brought you discussions from topics ranging from Facebook to Friday Night Lights, with seriousness from sex to Sesame Street. The crew here is a good one - we can claim host to conservatives and liberals, the religious and the atheist, living people and ghosts.

Ghost.

However, it was exactly because of this wide-ranging sphere of discussion that once upon a time, Jason Heat proposed to us all the idea of the Gentlemen in Residence program. Our discourse covers such a wide area that we are seldom apt to stop and stay with a single area of discussion. In short, we are qualified to talk about our lives, and our tendencies are to change our subject of writing with the same frequency as new things in our lives catch our interest. Don't get me wrong, we've had some awesome discussions here, but we've never taken the time out to really hone in on a single area of concern and write at length regarding it. That is where Jason foresaw the need for Gentlemen in Residence.

What we plan to do with this oft-discussed, now finally implemented system, is invite one new author to join our ranks each month. For the course of that month, you will be treated to a new post, appearing on Sundays, regarding the topic on which our new resident is far more qualified to discuss than we are. What will these topics be? We're going to let you be surprised. I think you'll like what we've come up with. Or rather, what we didn't come up with, and rather than go out and learn about it, just brought in someone new to talk about it for us. Whatever, same thing.

So while you can rest assured you will still be able to count on us for your daily dose of Art, Politics, and Life, now you'll also enjoy going in-depth in those areas with our guests once a week. I hope you're as excited about this new addition as we are. I think we're all going to learn something, and have some pretty cool discussions on the way. Also, if you think you've got what it takes to be a Gentlemen in Residence, let us know about it. We'd love to see what area of expertise you could bring to the blog.

As always, we are but Gentlemen.

Rocky Horror Glee Show: A Preemptive Strike

So, if you hadn't heard, some TV show that some people apparently like to watch is putting on a episode centered around some campy rock musical that some of us like to shadowcast.

I've never watched Glee. I've been a Rocky Horror fan/performer/cultist for 8 years.

I'm not going to comment extensively until I've seen the episode, but I just wanted to put it out there: this is... interesting.

Rocky Horror has always danced in strange circles around the mainstream. If you were a young adult in the 70s, you definitely know about it, and have probably been to it a few times. If you're super conservative, it's the devil. If you're reasonably liberal, you'll recognize that, yes, it's fairly transgressive, but not the most out-there subculture on the planet.

But my totally uninformed guess would be that the average Glee viewer - or at least a sizable portion of its audience - is not familiar with it.

This could go lots of different ways. The unfamiliar audience could see it as just another set of old rock n roll chestnuts that the show has dug up, and, man, weren't they freaky in the Seventies?

It could get backlash. Even if they don't watch the show, conservative media like to jump on any chance to make controversy. (Well, all media, really.) If not for the fact that Glee airs on Fox, it would be right up Fox News' alley to have a news segment about the controversial episode that features cross-dressing, cannibalism, incest and orgies. (Or at least, that features music from a movie that features those things.)

It could increase the actual Rocky Horror's popularity, particularly if they at all mention that, you know, there are still people putting it on, every weekend, in a large city near you. Us Rocky kids are probably both dreaming of and dreading the possibility of an upsurge in popularity; for one thing, we love an audience, and for another, we love to scoff at normals.

The real interesting thing to me is that this is probably the closest brush with the mainstream Rocky Horror has had in a while. It will be an interesting test to see if still has any power whatsoever to shock. After all, there are, in a way, two Rocky Horrors: theres the movie as it is seen by most not-straightlaced-people, as a fun, weird, Halloweeny diversion; and then there's the cult, featuring folks (like me) who are most likely to inspire a why's-it-such-a-big-deal-to-them? reaction.

We'll see, I guess.

Putting On My Game Face, or 'self-imposed sexism'

My post is a lot later than usual today because I'm just now getting back from an audition. This has actually been a pretty audition heavy week - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and I could have booked one on Sunday if I didn't have a conflict for the show dates - which is awesome. What's not so awesome is scraping the gunk off my face every night before I go to bed because today's been an audition day. Because when I go to an audition, I'm expected to look my best, and I'm aware that looking my best usually involves concealer, a thick layer of foundation, blush, eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow, and some lip gloss.

As I'm washing my face for the second time to finally get all the makeup off, I start to think about this practice I undertake to get parts.

I hate wearing this much makeup on a regular basis, for a few reasons that I think are understandable:

1. It makes me break out (because apparently I'm still a 14-year-old girl). The whole point of wearing makeup, or so I'm told, is to cover skin blemishes. The more I wear foundation, though, the more I get acne, which makes me less cute, which makes me less cast-able, which leads to the need for more foundation. This leads to point two:

2. Chemicals are bad for my skin. The synthetic crap that the 160 billion-dollar[1] beauty industry puts into its products include:

• Phthalates, known to cause birth defects, damage to reproductive organs, and lung, liver, and kidney cancers;
• Sulfates, known to cause kidney and liver damage, skin inflammations, and cataracts;
• Parabens, which can disrupt hormones to the point of causing breast cancer; and
• Propylenes, linked to brain, liver, and kidney abnormalities, respiratory irritation, nervous system depression, pulmonary edema, and oh yeah, brain damage[2]

And that's just the short list. Buying products that avoid these toxins is possible - but often also extremely expensive, especially for a struggling artist fresh out of college.

3. It both causes itching and makes it impossible to scratch. Heaven forbid I walk into a room with a line across my forehead where I've removed my foundation with my fingernail. Embarrassing. It's a small gripe, but let me tell you, when I have a full face on, it dominates my thoughts 40% of the time.

4. It's a real pain in the butt to get off. I'm a low-maintenance kind of girl. My evening ritual usually involves little more than collapsing into bed. Occasionally I take my pants off first. The last thing I want to do when I'm tired is scrub my face in the bathroom sink so I don't swipe pretty colors all over my pillow while I sleep. (And wake up facing even more of problem #1 than ever before.)

So needless to say, having to get all dolled up for an audition, while not the biggest frustration in the world, is not high on my List of Loves. And when I really think about the standards set for us by the entertainment industry, it comes off as pretty darned sexist too.

Men aren't forced to cake makeup on in order to be more likely to get a part. Why do women cater to such an outmoded practice? If a boss were to suggest that a woman would be more successful in her workplace if she wore more makeup, she wouldn't waste half a second before she slapped a sexual harassment lawsuit on his ass. So why do we let audition coaches and casting directors and directors suggest that we glob on makeup before going to an audition? This is our job, and too much of it is based on looks and connections rather than talent as things already stand.

Now please don't misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that if you're a woman who enjoys wearing makeup every day, for whatever reason, that you're setting back the female cause. If you like it, then by all means, go for it! Hell, if you're a man and you want to wear makeup every day, who am I to stop you? But I personally do not like wearing a lot of makeup. And yet, a few times a week, I resign myself to glopping it on for the reason that I know it will make me more successful in my career. And that, if you ask me, is a big step in the wrong direction.

So... why do we do it?

[1] The Society Pages - The Beauty Industry: Spending and Routines http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/05/15/the-beauty-industry-spending-and-routines/

[2] Green Living Online - Six Makeup Chemicals to Avoid

http://www.greenlivingonline.com/article/six-makeup-chemicals-avoid