Sunday, November 30, 2008

Peter Pan is Actually Very Sketchy

Let's ignore the blatant cultural insensitivity towards the Native American nations (one of the songs is called "ugah wuguh wig-wam." Found in the themes of this children's classic are such gems as;

Kidnapping: Both at the end and the beginning of the play, Peter Pan sneaks into a private home and makes off with children. The pirates also kidnap a large group of children with intent to make them walk the plank. However, as readers of the blog know, that was historically inaccurate. They would have tied them to a cannon and whipped them.

Murder: The Indians and Pirates make a large show of running around fighting and scaring each other off, all in good fun. Then at the end of the play, Peter begins actually murdering the pirates. This is response to the pirates aforementioned premeditated murder of all the small children. Captain Hook is forced into death by being eaten.

Really Creepy Sexual Undertones: I don't really even need to get into this one. Just think about it as an adult - Wendy comes to Neverland to be the Lost Boy's "mother," and spends the whole time in a nightdress around a man she's obviously attracted to, whom also regards her as his "mother." Let's move on.

Drug Use: Peter and Tiger Lily smokum peace pipe. 'Nuff said.

Wait, let's take a deeper look here. Don't stop at Peter Pan, let's examine some of the other residents of Fabletown:

Snow White: Poisoning, strangulation, murder, attempted murder, midget porn
Cinderella: Self-mutilation, slavery
Jack & The Beanstalk: Forced entry, burglary, murder
Little Red Riding Hood: Little old lady eaten to death, cruelty to animals
Puss n' Boots: Rampant lying
Goldilocks: Forced entry, burglary, terrible cooking
The Pied Piper of Hamelin: Kidnapping, cruelty to animals, mass infanticide
The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Kidnapping, murder, suicide, blasphemy
Rapunzel: Unlawful imprisonment
Sleeping Beauty: Unwarranted insult towards the narcoleptic community

It's a good thing kids don't read anymore.

1 comment:

Daniel said...

Mother Goose rhymes were initially intended to scare kids to sleep, i mean, come on, "cradle will rock" is about a kid falling out of a tree and dying.

at the same time, isn't this kind of challenging, scary shit what forces kids to think? would you prefer children's entertainment like, say Hannah Montana where there is no real conflict, feeling, or challenge? i think a little thievery and confused sexuality can be good for a growing mind. wait. strike that last part. everything else, though.