Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear Future Republicans Presidential Candidates . . .

Please, please just stop having sex between now and 2012. You guys really suck at it. Unlike in Italy, where you can almost get away with damn near anything, if you do it in the states you're gonna get caught. It's like you're trying to force Mitt Romney to run again. The guy tied the family dog to the roof of the car. That's more messed up thank at least 80% of what Berlusconi has done (that we know if).

So please, keep it in your pants.




Especially you Ensign. Keep your sexiness in check.

5 comments:

Matt Lindeboom said...

Read to the tune of Jaws:

"Palin...Palin...Palin palin palin palin palin palin!"

Stephen said...

It looks as if some were right to say gay marriage threatens traditional marriage. Way to go, Iowa.

Matt Lindeboom said...

I agree that gay marriage threatens traditional marriage, which is why -- based on a similar logical argument -- we have to kill all the bears to stop global warming.

B.Graham said...

I just wish all these super anti-gay rights advocates would come out already. It's 2009 guys, it's okay!


Also I blame our Puritan background for almost all of our nation's sexual hangups. Hmmm maybe that's a post a-brewin...

Daniel said...

I'd do those guys.