Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Kids Finale

In the interest of covering a some additional bases and covering my ass (and avoid being punched by Nevie in the face the next time our paths cross) I will address a few things, then I will slink quietly away to silence at SilverDocs for the rest of the week except for one controversy-free hidden post I have on deck.

* Yes, JStone, there are really people who think vaccines cause autism and they are batshit crazy. I am employing no exaggeration when I say that.

* I have nothing against technical colleges, community colleges, culinary schools or Microsoft accreditation courses for that matter. But I would say that anyone who, when their child is born, does not hope and believe that that kid will get to college is selling their kid short. So Brittany I do agree for the most part. Also, if you can field two baseball teams, you probably have too many kids.

* Now for the abortion/adoption. I realize I probably shouldn't have mixed something pretty serious (college savings, vaccines) with something where I was trying to be a bit Swift-ian. It's dangerous to be Swift-ian. The safest bet really would have been to eat the kids, rather than put them up for adoption. A few last thoughts . . .

* I do not ever ever encourage eugenics. I certainly root for and against certain teams. For example I'd like David Bowie and Iman to crank out dozens of immaculate super-children. And I'd like Nascar fan's genital to fall off. But if two consenting adults want to have a kid, so be it.

* I probably should have more reasonably said people under 18 shouldn't have kids. But y'know given the maturity shown by 19 and 20 year olds I often interacted with in college, I bumped it up a bit for good measure.

* Nevie, I think any man of any ages who impregnates a teenage girl should probably have their balls chopped off. Probably.

* There are exceptions to every rule. Shit, Bill Clinton became President and his home life wasn't a bowl of cherries. But the odds are stacked against teen parents and their offspring in quite in a variety of ways. It's fucking tough to end up like Rory Gilmore.

* I absolutely believe that the Robbie Williams - Kylie Minogue duet Kids is better than the Matthew Good discography. (I kid cuz I love Jason.)


Jstone said...

I didn't read all the comments but anyone who jumped down your throat needs to chill out dood. I read the post as a "Why is society so stupid?" piece instead of a serious "Here's a solution to society's ills" piece. Obviously laws dictating what people can and cannot do with their time/body/life that doesn't immediately affect other people are not ok. But still I think their are a lot of people in this country who think to themselves "If people were having less babies when they could not possibly support them financially and emotionally then the world would be a better place."

BTWs go watch the new MTV show "16 and Pregnant" I expected the worst white trash mom ever to be on the first episode but actually I felt really good about her. She graduated high school early (no GED for her) got a full time job and started going to Community College while engaged and living with her baby daddy. The only problem of course was that the baby daddy was a dick but that girl was a decent human being. Props to MTV for not going off the deep end and show casing the worst moms ever.

Ryan said...

Easy solution: legalize ninth-trimester abortions.

nevie said...

i'm honored that my imposing presence inspired an epilogue. but i promise i'm not violent kinda.

B.Graham said...

it is awfully dangerous to be swiftian...

Max Nova said...

The Onion Reading my mind: