Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It Comes With A Price

Oh, McDonald's. We were such good friends. At the very least we were good business partners. I, the loyal client, willing to shell out a buck or two for the consistent quality products that you, my trustworthy supplier, would provide. Our ties grew stronger with time.

When you changed your sandwich containers from wrappers to little boxes, it rendered me scared and confused. But I soon realized that the empty half of the opened box doubled as a holder for your delicious french fries, and thus your genius was understood. I was able to take a small change here or there.

And then the whole world flipped upside down, McDonald's. And you ruined everything.

I came to this revelation about a week ago, when I visited one of your franchise establishments somewhere in Northern Montgomery County. While approaching my place of purchase, I noticed advertisements for McCafe, a new line of Lattes and Mochas offered at a reasonable price. I decided to give your McCafe a shot, knowing you hadn't steered me wrong in the past. I went to the drive-thru window and ordered a delicious Sausage Egg and Cheese McGriddles sandwich, along with a Caramel Latte.

As usual, the McGriddles sandwich was delicious. The sausage was flavorful, juicy, and had a friendly texture, the egg and cheese was twisting in savory swirls on my tongue, with a hint of syrupy goodness. I couldn't wait to wash down my first bite with my new tasty beverage.

I first knew that something was amiss when I could smell the caramel. The drink was horrible. I've never before consumed anything at a McDonald's that I didn't like, but I had to admit it was awful. It tasted as if the milk, or milk substitute, had turned, along with ever other ingredient in my Latte.

I didn't even swallow my first mouthful, refusing to let this liquid filth become part of my body.

McCafe left me with an "ewww" look on my face, and a trail of Latte on the side of my car. Of course it could be that this drink slipped through quality control, and maybe these drinks are normally tasty, but I'm afraid that I won't ever find that out, because I will never drink from McCafe again.

I am disappointed with you, McDonald's. I will now hesitate to accept any new product you offer after having to question your waning brilliance. You've broken a sacred trust that may never be repaired.

Unfortunately I must echo the warnings issued by Starbucks; beware of a cheaper cup of coffee, it comes with a price.

11 comments:

B.Graham said...

I felt the same way the first time I had a McDonald's milkshake. I'll never know what the McCafe tastes like because I can never trust a non-fountain drink from them again.

Alex said...

@B- Really? I have quite a fondness for their strawberry shakes. Of course, whenever I try to get one the shake machine is usually broken...

I think I'm a little too addicted to Starbucks (and the mild pretentiousness they throw in, free of charge) to try McCafe.

Ozkirbas said...

I don't think I could ever share Steve's sentimentality for McDonalds.

Max Nova said...

I used to have trouble keeping down hashbrowns on family vacations as a kid.

ali d said...

The older I get, the more McD's disagrees with my insides. It is delicious crap, yes, but still crap, and my body just can't handle it anymore. I was therefore already skeptical of McCafe, and now I will never venture to give it a shot.

David Pratt said...

I haven't had fast food in the last 7 years.

Dennis said...

I looooove me some McDonald's breakfast. 2 Sausage egg and cheese Mcmuffins (covered in hot sauce) and 2 hash browns (covered in hot sauce) and orange juice. It's totally worth the 3 hours of indigestion and heartburn that it causes. This post has inspired me to get up early enough tomorrow to get it.

It is sad, Steve, that this McCafe has shaken your faith. Fortunately for me, I hate anything coffee related, so am still devout.

Ozkirbas said...

I'm coffee related. Do ya hate me, Dennis?

Dennis said...

AGGGGHHHHHH!! My hatred of coffee related things and my love for John, the man-bear, are tearing me apart inside.

I'm like Helga G. Pataki from Hey Arnold.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid that Stephen's obsession with McDonalds can be blamed on the fact that his mother (myself) ate at Mickey Dees everyday of her nine monthes of pregnancy! (I think I even had someone bring a Happy Meal to the maternity ward) Sorry Steve.

ali d said...

A Mom comment! Awesome!