Thursday, November 26, 2009

TG RoundTable's Thanksgiving Special

Ah, Thanksgiving. A time of sharing, a time of caring, a time of football, family, and stuffing your face until you overdose on tryptophan and pass out. This week These Gentlemen gather Round the Table to recieve extra helpings of Thanksgiving questions.

First course is, of course, what are you thankful for?
Second course, what is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?
And dessert (or third round of the first course, or lunch for the next three weeks...) what isn't but should be a Thanksgiving tradition?

David Pratt

The question of what I'm thankful for gave me far more trouble than I had anticipated. Everything I thought of at first seemed either shallow or cliched. Of course I'm thankful for friends and family, it would be crazy and ungrateful of me not to be. I'm thankful for the things that entertain me like the internet and video games, but it seems self-centered to me to list that as a thing I actually give thanks for. Does it cheapen my friends and family to group them in with the meaningless diversions I surround myself with? Would saying I'm thankful for the hard-hitting ultraviolence of God of War somehow raise to the level of my thankfulness for my sweet and thoughful girlfriend? Thanksgiving has always been a source of aggravation for me in that respect. Do I get judged based on the things I'm thankful for? It's really kind of frustrating. Not because I'm unhappy that I have so much to be thankful about, but because it makes me feel more than a little introspective to express it.

Now my favorite Thanksgiving dish, that's another story. My Dad's wife makes this chocolate pie every year that I happily drive back to New York for. It's so delicious. You don't understand. I can't rightfully put it into words, but if I could it would be something like aggglllomnomnomblllarrrghnomnom. She's started just making an extra pie so that everyone has enough after I eat half of the first one.

And finally, the one Thanksgiving tradition we don't have that I would institute would be returning a parcel of land to Native American ownership every year. Since I don't think the rest of the country would go for that, I would just make it so the entire Presidential cabinet plays a game of football on the White House lawn. Teams would be President and Vice President and they pick who they want one at a time, like junior high kickball. Winning team spends Thanksgiving handing out food at a soup kitchen - the losing team cooks for them.

I'd also encourage changing the dish from turkey to something beef-related. Turkeys do us no harm. Cows are actively trying to kill the human species. Which is not to say I won't still eat delicious turkey, I'd just rather be using the time to save mankind.


Okay. Part one.

I'm thankful for so many things, but the one I feel like highlighting is my health. I got sick recently, it ended up being nothing to serious, but I had no insurance at the time and was starting to get scared I had the ole H1N1. So many thoughts went through my mind: how can I afford a doctor visit? What if it gets worse? How am I ever going to get covered after this? Turns out, my fever went down fast and was gone in just two days. But it scared the hell out of me.

Favorite Thanksgiving dish, that's an easier one. It'd have to be the marshmallow yams. Does everybody else have those too? Man, they are AMAZING.

One Thanksgiving tradition my family has (that everyone else's should) is after dinner, we all play three or four rounds of Balderdash. Everybody always complains that they don't want to play, but then it's always a good time. I think every family should adopt this tradition. Because I know what's right for you, America. Come get some.

Jason Heat


So this roundtable is kind of a tough one for me. A couple of weeks ago, I would have been thankful for the prospect of being able to cook Thanksgiving food myself, having no family-induced stress, and getting to spend a large portion of the day watching football while naked (oversharing?).

Now, I have a much more cliched list of things I'm thankful for- I'm glad that my friends are so supportive and willing to listen to me talk way too much. I'm also quite glad that my parents decided not to go away for Thanksgiving, so I can drive to Ohio and at least have my typical relax-with-my-parents Thanksgiving, complete with whatever delicious food my mother decides to make. And since she feels bad for me at the moment, she's even throwing in pumpkin pie, something which she personally can't stand.

Ok, so part two. I do love turkey, but I think my favorite Thanksgiving dish is this apple-cranberry casserole that my mom makes every year. It's great because the crumb topping lets me pretend that it's basically oatmeal, which means I end up eating it for breakfast for the next week.

And part three. I honestly have no idea what non-Thanksgiving thing should be part of the tradition, but I know that I would prefer if travelling weren't so traditional. That's mostly because it tends to be a bad experience for me, like the year that I drove to Philly with my mom and brother, got an ear infection on the way there, had to stop at a hospital, and ended up sleeping in the van that night because traffic was so bad and there was nowhere to stay. Not fun. And yet, I had to argue with my parents to let me drive to Ohio alone instead of flying this year... I must be deranged.


I am thankful for those who are close to me. I'm thankful for my lovely girlfriend, my family, my friends, and of course, my cute little dog, Arty.

My favorite Thanksgiving dish is stuffing. I really like stuffing. My face. With stuffing.

My idea for a new Thanksgiving tradition? Thanksgiving is fine. Just leave it alone people. Free ipods for everyone. There. Thanksgiving just got better. Unless you work for Apple. In which case you're probably all like "damn." But eventually a better ipod will get invented. It would probably be best to time the release of a better ipod to occur on the day after Thanksgiving. But it's going to suck for Apple in October and November, because nobody is going to buy an ipod, because Thanksgiving is right around the corner.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Max Nova

1. As always I thankful to be alive, and I am thankful for music.
2. It's a tie between stuffing and mash potatoes.
3. Everyone should celebrate Buy Nothing Day on the day after Thanksgiving.


1) What am I thankful for?

The usual stuff like family, friends, food... fun... foosball... freedom?... funk... ... ... French fries... ... foil? It's useful. -More Seriously, the Breadth of Possibilities of Time and Space, by which at any moment I could turn the corner and meet someone new or have some adventure. Or slip and fall, but hey.

2) What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Mashed potatoes. I am far too lazy to make them during the year, nor do I favor the insta-variety. So it's one of the very very few times I get to eat 'em.

3) What isn't, but should be, part of the Thanksgiving tradition?

Pretending to be someone else at the table and saying what you believe they are (or should be) thankful for. Maybe even each person at the table getting this treatment from every other guest.

ali d

1. I know it sounds corny and trite, but I'm incredibly thankful for my friends and family. I moved down to Silver Spring over the summer, and am surrounded by so many wonderful and fun people who constantly challenge me and keep life interesting. I live with my best friend. I'm dating the best guy I've ever known. My parents are supporting my dreams. My baby sister lives down the street. I have a fantastic new brother-in-law. Life doesn't get much better. I'm also so thankful that I'm working enough to support myself. I feel very lucky to get as much work as I do in such a jobless economy.

2. I'm sure people are expecting me to talk about Thanksgiving desserts as my favorite dish, but I have to say, it's all about the brown foods for me at Thanksgiving. Turkey (dark meat - no contest). Stuffing. Rolls. And what makes sweet potatoes so delicious? That's right, it's the brown sugar. Mmm. I might go into a tryptophan coma just thinking about my monochromatic TGiving plate.

3. Remember all those years ago when the Native Americans shared their crops with us, and thus we didn't all starve and die out and that's why we have Thanksgiving in the first place? I think that in between the parade, football games, and Christmas specials, we should be reminded that this holiday all began with a simple act of sharing.


Ah one: I am thankful for a regular paycheck, and to have healthcare. I'm really, really thankful to have healthcare. I am thankful for the people around me, ie my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my cats. I am thankful that the aforementioned people (with possible exception of the cats) are so very patient with me and love me unconditionally for who/what I am. I am thankful to be living in 2009 and not any time before now, and I am so incredibly thankful for the internet. Especially at work.

Ah twohooo: Green bean casserole. Hands down. I could eat green bean casserole every single day of November and the beginning of December. I am this specific because, like pumpkin pie, green bean casserole is meant only for Thanksgiving and can only be consumed on or around its designated holiday. I think the wait makes it all that much tastier and wonderful come this time of year.
Man I am so pumped for green bean casserole.

Ah three. Ah three: In the nature of that single day in which puritans and Native Americans (NOT Native Indians) got along and broke bread together, I think we should have something along the lines of a nation-wide "peace be with you"-type moment, in which we would all just make an extra effort to smile and say hello and help our neighbors. "Oh, I see you are struggling with all those packages as you try to open the door, can I get that for you?" "Hello, I noticed that we've been neighbors for two years and we've never formally met. Here's a cake I baked." "I see that you have a two babies and a stroller/are pregnant/are old. Take my seat, please." Ideally, it would help alleviate some of the tension/stress of the upcoming holiday season, and maybe eventually bleed into the rest of the year.

And with that, I hope you’re sated, because that’s all we’ve baked. After-dinner mint, anyone?


Jason Heat said...

being kermit made me very happy.

Ozkirbas said...

I'm thankful for pumpkin flavored things.
Also, thursdays.

I'll refrain from explaining because the former is self-explanatory: pumpkin = awesome. The later - you'll just have to deal with not knowing.

Blogden Nash said...

Jason's answers were the best because he didn't go the easy/loser route and be thankful for his friends and family. The rest of you guys are lame-os.

Daniel said...

at least capitalize "pie." come on people.