Sunday, December 20, 2009

30 Tiny Truths - 10

10. So You've Reproduced ...

I'm not against small talk. Well, I'm not totally against small talk. I guess it serves it's purpose, it makes existing in the presence of others just a bit less awkward. But there's one area that needs to be addressed: Parents, your children are not special in any way, shape, or form. Nothing they do or have done before the age of around16 is even remotely interesting to anyone above the age of 16.

Note that unless there is a picture of them on Cute Overload (I presume that site still exists) then whatever you said is "Soooo cute" is actually not really that cute. Unless their educational path mirrors that of Doogie Houser, they aren't all that bright. And if they are a 14 year old doctor, well that's basically just fucked up.

Look - You can have children, hell you can have 19 children, but spare us the magic of your special little guy. The second that your new lifeform came into the world, god blessed you with 18 years of being a really dull conversationalist.

So, let's just talk about the weather, shall we?

9 comments:

Jstone said...

I can't wait for uncle Nova to come around the house and teach them about the real world.

Jason Heat said...

This may be my favorite Tiny Truth yet.

nevie said...

kids are WAY more interesting than the weather, even if they're other people's. parents can obviously take it overboard, but why not let people be proud? disinterested or impossible to please parents lead to a lot more developmental problems than parents who are super proud. maybe your point is more about you particularly not caring to hear about it, but i disagree with having to be exceptional to be interesting.

ali d said...

@Nevie- I'm with you. Maybe it's a girl thing? Maybe it's because I find all children absolutely adorable? I dunno, but I love hearing little stories about kids from proud parents, especially as we're getting older, and the parents are often friends of mine.

And I'd go even further to say that even if the child is not exceptional, neither was my day or my job, and I still small talk about that like it actually matters to everyone. If people care enough about me, it'll matter to them because it matters to me.

So I say talk away parents. I want to hear about spaghetti in hair, bathtime antics, and how well they say their ABCs. We'll let Max check on the weather for us while we're chatting.

Alex said...

Hm... definitely not a girl thing.

nevie said...

if gender has anything to do with it, which i don't think it should but it may, it's not a girl thing. it would be a woman thing.

B.Graham said...

children should be a parent's world, and therefore said children should not stray far from their minds, especially when the parent is doing something so mundane as small talk

also I too love hearing kid stories, especially if I know the kid

Jackie said...

I would imagine there are people that feel the same way about pet stories too. I love it though. There is nothing better then being at work and having a client show me pictures of their dogs and tell me all about how their dog did the cutest thing in the world the other day.
I think rather it being a man vs woman or girl vs boy thing its more likely a do you like kids or not thing. Same with pets. Do you like them or not.

Max Nova said...

Just to clarify -

a) Parents should absolutely take care of their kids and drive them to soccer games and tell them they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up and yadda yadda yadda. I just don't want to hear about it.

b) I was kidding about the weather. I have little desire to talk about the weather. But freakish world-ending snowstorms, I'll say a few words about those.