Monday, February 16, 2009

I'm Sure She'll Make a Great Wife

The setting:
Valentine's Day.
Baltimore.
Inner Harbor.
A piano bar.
At the bar.
With a beer.
Miller Lite if you really cared.
With fellow Gentleman John Oz.

The story:

Girl walks right up to me.
"You have a girlfriend?"
"No"
"My name is Christina"
"Adam"
"My best friend is getting married and we're having her bachelorette party. [shows me a playing card that reads - find the cutest guy in the bar and take a picture of him kissing the future bride].
"Ah wow, I'm flattered."
"You're coming with me"
"Ozzzz??"
"Good luck"

I'm grabbed by the hand and dragged across the bar. I'm brought to a group of girls all wearing nice black dresses. Bride-to-be is wearing one of those 'miss america' shawls across her dress. We meet, its sufficiently comically awkward. Christina takes out camera, I kiss future bride. I'm still confused. They thank me. I say to Christina, so do I get a kiss now? She says 'fine,' and I get a kiss as well.

Pleased and still confused, I walk back to John Oz.
He hands me back my beer.
I begin to explain to him what just happened.
I'm still explaining, when:

A girl walks up to Oz.
Says hi, and introduces herself and her friend.
"So do you have a girlfriend?"
Oz, "Um, no I don't"
"What kind of guy doesn't have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day?"
Oz, "I..."
Two girls walk away.

I couldn't be laughing harder at this point.
This is an odd place.
I'm having a good time.
What kind of guy doesn't have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
The kind that doesn't date based on what day of the year it is.

----------------------
And for those who were in attendance:

7 comments:

Ozkirbas said...

'cause it ain't no lie
Baby, bye bye bye

Damo said...

Nothing in Baltimore surprises me, ever.

weatherhallace said...

This posting has me laughing SO hard. It is better the second time around! I love that bar...

ali d said...

Damn my work schedule! There is nothing about this post that I don't find hilarious, and I could have been there for it!

ali d said...

And why on earth did girls 3 and 4 even bother asking? What would they have done if he said yes? Still walked away? WHAT WAS THE POINT?!

I'm so confused....

Ozkirbas said...

Actually, I think the exact quote was: "I'm gonna be honest, I really don't have an answer for that"

Does that help?

Daniel said...

man sounds like you two hang out at the RIGHT places...