Stuff I Love-Fifth Edition

MOVIE THEATER POPCORN-SOMETHING I LOVE



I can't really watch a movie without popcorn. Really. To the point where, I will go out to dinner before the movie, or even just have dinner at home, whatever, point is, I will eat a FULL ASS meal before the movie and STILL buy a large popcorn. More often than not, that means I also have to get some kind of drink to go with it (although I've gotten smarter lately and started sneaking drinks in). This economy has really hit me and my $6 large popcorn $7 large drink hard.

Believe me when I say that I can tear through a large popcorn like no one's business. Forget the headache I get from the salt, I have yet to really regret scarfing down enough popcorn to choke China over the course of a two hour film. It's been worth it every time.

I like microwave popcorn too, I really do. In fact, we didn't have a microwave in my house until I was in high school (my mom was afraid the radiation would kill us all, maybe rightfully so?) so every time I went to a friend's house with a microwave, making popcorn was a pretty big deal for me. But now that I do have a microwave, and frequently make popcorn in my own home, I can firmly say, it just ain't the same. Even those "movie theater butter" popcorns, just forget it. They're gross. It's the airpopping, you see, it gives it a lighter taste, it's crunchier, and you don't ever end up with just a bag full of kernels (I hate that!).

Oh, and if you're one of those people who uses the flavored salts, you know, like the cheese flavoring, or garlic powder, that kind of junk they have at theaters now (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), you should be sent to an island and cut off from humanity forever. You are ruining a simple, classic, delight. You wouldn't dump more paint on the Mona Lisa to make it "prettier" would you? No. You wouldn't add five more characters to Citizen Kane because they "wear great clothes" would you? You wouldn't add five more guitar solos to "Stairway to Heaven" to make it rock harder, would you? Well, maybe you would. Maybe you would.