Good Morning

During Phase 3, me, RJ, Wolfy, Rocky, and Big John all decided to go get pierced at the same time. It may have been some kind of room-mate bonding trip, but mainly I wanted some kind of physical demarcation of all the changes I had undergone in the last few months (aside from the beard, long hair, and general buffness - oh how I miss thee, buffness). This is also the time I came incredibly close to getting a penis piercing.

RJ, Wolfy, and John were all gung ho on getting some metal shoved through their man rods, while Rock remained firmly on the side that that was a terrible idea. I don't even pretend like I was thinking clearly those days and really debated joining the rest of them - mainly because it was something I would never, ever, ever do. Then I wouldn't tell ANYONE at home for about three months until I'd bust it out randomly at a party to the utter shock of everyone.

Then I realized I was seriously considering PIERCING MY PENIS in preparation for a twenty second joke over three months away that involved flashing a lot of people. So I wisely decided to go with an eyebrow piercing instead, which I still miss (along with my glorious flowing locks).

Wolfy, John, and RJ all did go the whole way, though.
Now when you get a piercing down there, you're told to have absolutely no sex for about three months - and then for a long time, a condom is a must.

So of course three days later RJ had unprotected sex with a sixteen year old girl he could barely stand.
It sounded a lot like this -

*girlish moan*
Agh!
*moan*
Agh!
*moan*
Agh!

Agony. It sounded like rhythmic agony.

The next morning I was woken up at about 7 in the morning to the question "Hey, Schlaffer, does this look infected?"
Unthinking, I turned around. There greeting me was a fully infected pierced penis not six inches from my face.
I screamed like the smallest girl you could possibly imagine.
My eyes still burn.

Big John held out a few more days, but then he too fell to the incredible temptation of infection via intercourse. Wolfy followed the directions perfectly, but ended up getting rid of his cause having a metal ring in his urethra ended up being a lot less cool than he expected (I remain unclear as to exactly what he expected). So I think I made the right choice.

Pulling down my pants at that party still would've been a hell of a moment, though.