Monday, January 26, 2009

You know you're from the District if...

by Adam and Jason

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM DC IF...

- You know the threat of rain will add an hour to your commute. Snow? the city will shut down.
- You go to a sports bar to watch a presidential debate.
- You don't think calling a football team "the Redskins" is racist. What? It's honoring their tradition!
- You've never rooted for a winning baseball team.
- You know the two people who eat for free at Ben's Chilli Bowl*
- You get angry at having to pay for a museum.
- You're invited to Wonderland but don't expect drugs.
- You know why there's one yellow seat per metro car.
- You've finished your WaPo Express sudoku on the escalator ride up L'Enfant Plaza.
- You know not to expect Chinese people in Chinatown.
- You've seen Ian MacKaye at the local Whole Foods.
- You're "sXe 4 Life." or until you turn 21.
- You're 32 and still going to the Positive Youth Fest.
- You're used to your cafes being attached to bookstores, or your bookstores being attached to cafes. Actually you're not sure which it is.
- You've been hit on while hanging out in the Fruit Loop.
- When you were little, you thought the Mormon Temple was Disney Land. You're still convinced.
- You know you're likely to see an 18-yr-old and a senator having a beer together at the Hawk and Dove.
- You're not shocked by the 9:30 Club bouncer with the massive 42" gauge pierced ear studs
- You've seen the monuments at sunrise. After all, you know better than to go during the daytime.
- You're taxed without representation. GODDAMMIT!

* Bill Cosby and Barack Obama.

18 comments:

Daniel said...

-you go to school with congresspeople and sentor's kids and it ain't no thang.

Nevie Brooks. said...

i mean, you say disneyland, i say Oz.

Jason Heat said...

that ain't no emerald city woman!

Nevie Brooks. said...

hey remember that time we talked about the representation of women on this blog? and there you go referring to me not by name but as "woman"? credibility... dropping... pyooooooo.... :-P

Ozkirbas said...

I'm voting for Oz

Jason Heat said...

and here i thought i was just celebrating your transition from girl to something more

Jason Heat said...

also related - http://theonlyschmucks.blogspot.com/2009/01/twinbrook-zone.html

heh.

Anonymous said...

Alright, chillin's... it is Oz. Period. How do we know? Because otherwise why would people keep spray painting "surrender Dorothy" on the overpass? Oh, right... none of you were alive then. Or why woiuld there be a giant mural depicting the just and right demise of all the non-mormons... oh, right, you weren't alive when you could actually get inside. PS - if you were really hardcore about the Oz thing, you could break into the grounds and put green theatrical gel over all the spotlights at and just above ground level... nahhhh. who would do a thing like that!!!???

Jason Heat said...

so now I think one of us should go undercover and do a post from inside the mormon temple

Ozkirbas said...

Depends. Does the Washington Temple get WiFi?

Alison said...

Agreed, it's definitely Oz.

More bothersome to me though - why was Jason a co-author on both of these "You know you're" posts? You can only be from one place. (Ok, I know that's not quite right, but we all know that Jason didn't grow up in the district.)

Jason Heat said...

aaaaaaaactually, i was born there.

Scotty said...

"so now I think one of us should go undercover and do a post from inside the mormon temple"

Impossible. The fortress is notoriously impregnable.

Jason Heat said...

or do we simply have to try harder than anyone ever before...

AZWiner said...

like BATMAN!

Jason participated in the creation of many of the DC-related points.

and who's down for invading THE TEMPLE this weekend?

Jason Heat said...

Someone get me a fedora and a leather coat - that temple is filled with DOOM.

Ozkirbas said...

Hell, lets gel the lights while we're at it.

Scotty said...

The spaceship is mine.