Monday, December 15, 2008

RoundTable - Week 2

This week's RoundTable question is -
"If you could take revenge on any person, who would it be, what would you do, and why?"


No question about it, Osama Bin Laden. I would put him in jail for the rest of his natural life. Obviously because he is the leader and face of an international organization with the goal of gaining power and influence by intimidating free minds with the murdering of the innocent under the guise of religious superiority.


It would be a certain former Editor-in-Chief of the Maryland humor paper. He was one of two people who had messed it up and who had to be disposed before the end of their term. He was a sniveling little toadie of the lowest kind and not even very funny.

The sad thing is I had the chance to take my revenge. Somehow I had known that he was younger than my sister and one evening, soon after my sister turned 21 we were both at a liquor store and he was undoubtedly still under the legal age. I was ahead of him in line, but I wish I had stuck around a moment and told the proprietor that he was most certainly underage and if he had an id it was a fake.

Also his blog was terrible.


This is easy. I want my fucking revenge on Brett Ratner, the shithead. I can't stand that guy for so many reasons. First of all, he's a terrible director, secondly, he brings shame to the Yids of America, and third, and this is the most important one, he singlehandedly destroyed the X-Men franchise with X-3, a muddled, plotless, aimless, waste of potential.

How would I get him back? First of all, I'm forcing him to watch X-3 and then asking him a series of questions to really get into his psyche. For example-

Why did you put the Angel in this movie? How do you feel his character adds to the plot?
Why did you kill Cyclops, a fan favorite and, arguably the first X-Man? He never dies in the comic. And in fact, you didn't even chose to kill him on screen. Why not? Did you think maybe the Dark Phoenix Saga would be better without the person who, next to Jean Grey, might have the most invested in it?
Do you try to fuck dudes who look like Hugh Jackman?

Then I'd make him watch Rush Hour 3. Like, 40 times. That'd be enough.

I honestly can't think of anyone in my life I'd want revenge on.

The best revenge is living well, and I am awesome.


There are way too many girls I know, that I'm friends with or aquaintances, who have been the victim of some kind of sexual abuse - rape, molestation, or anything else. I can only imagine how many more have suffered in silence out of fear, shame, or simply privacy that I am simply unaware of. My blood curdles thinking about anyone and everyone I've known who has been forced to endure this kind of abuse or violence, and the mental, emotional, and physical after effects. No matter how they've chosen to handle it they are all beacons of incredible strength and courage - and no one should ever be forced to undergo what they've gone through.

But there has been one person, even if it's only by inches, that I've been closest too and since I have to pick one person for this question I'll pick whoever hurt her. I don't know his name, and I'll probably never really know what fully happened, but I think about it a lot. And this bastard can be a stand in for any and all the others.

I would have both his hands permanently tattooed with the words "I took advantage of a drunk girl" and he would wear those words for the rest of his life.

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