Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Well At Least We Made Out Alright, I Guess

Damo sent me this link yesterday - it's a news story called "The Kiss of Deaf" about a woman who's boyfriend actually ruptured her eardrum during what I have to assume was a pretty hardcore makeout session.

Here's the article -

BEIJING (Reuters) - A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reported Monday.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, went to hospital completely deaf in her left ear, the China Daily said, citing a report in a local newspaper.

"The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear," the paper quoted a doctor surnamed Li from the hospital as saying.

The woman's hearing would likely return to normal after about two months, Li said.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," the paper said.

But ear damage isn't the only little known danger of the twilight tongue attack. So as a public service announcement to all you lovers young and old who may be planning some necking later on - a word of caution. Maybe think twice. The danger may be greater than you make it out to be. (get it?)

In high school I had a friend who happened to be tongue tied. Now, I don't mean that she was shy or didn't know her way around a turn of phrase. She actually had the medical condition colloquially known as being "tongue tied" - when extra webbing is present under the tongue and connects it to the bottom of the mouth, keeping the tongue from being able to extend fully. She couldn't actually stick her tongue out of her mouth. As far as I'm aware, there's no real negative health affects to being tongue tied - she was able to speak normally and with clarity, eating wasn't an issue - I certainly wouldn't have known if she hadn't told me.

It is uncommon though, and different than most people, and so an elective surgery is available to snip the webbing and allow full tongue range of motion.

Well one night she was making out with her boyfriend, and he must have a mouth like a hoover vacuum because he sucked so hard on her tongue that he actually ripped the webbing himself and loosened her tongue from it's tied position.

Yes, there was blood.

But for all intents and purposes, he elected to have the surgery for her because to the best of my knowledge she is tongue tied no more.

Blood, hearing loss, detached tongual webbing -
And you thought sex was the scary part.

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